Antoine de Saint-Exupery. Face to face with the wind. Part 4. Muse for Antoine
“I demand from a woman to calm my inner anxiety,” he wrote to his mother, “that's why I need a woman so much. You cannot imagine, mother, how painful it is to be alone … "And such a woman soon appeared …
Part I. "I come from childhood"
Part 2. In the nest of "Storks"
Part 3. "Captain of the birds"
In 1929, after retraining in France, Antoine de Saint-Exupery was assigned to Buenos Aires. He was offered to head the branch of the airline "Aerpostal-Argentina". He has a good salary, he is so materially provided that he sends part of the money to his mother. Together with Madame Marie de Saint-Exupery, he rejoices at their family event: the Lyon Museum acquired her painting.
In Buenos Aires, Antoine lives in a luxurious apartment, but yearns for the castle sold for debts, in which he spent his happy childhood, for the silence and silence of the sands. Sahara is "my charming poverty that I mourn."
Now that I “earn twenty-five thousand francs a month and do not know what to do with them; spending them exhaustingly, and I begin to suffocate in a room cluttered with a thousand objects that I will never need, which I begin to hate as soon as they become mine”[Saint-Exupery from a letter to Rinette, friend of my youth].
The sound engineer does not need material goods, all his values are ideas and thoughts, and the sound writer also has a Muse.
Yvette, Lisette, Musette, Jeanette, Georgette …
“For every act of a man, look for a woman,” says Yuri Burlan at lectures on systemic vector psychology. A woman is a muse, inspirer, wife, beloved, fighting friend. A man puts all his victories at her feet, she also becomes the cause of all his defeats.
After an unsuccessful matchmaking to Louise de Vilmorin, who later became a famous writer, author of French women's novels, in the life of Antoine there was no more relationship of such depth. “And I am monotonously and boringly caring for various Colettes, Paulettes, Suzy, Daisy, Gaby of serial production, which, in less than two hours, annoy me. These are the waiting rooms”[Saint-Exupery from a letter to his sister].
“I demand from a woman to calm my inner anxiety,” he wrote to his mother, “that's why I need a woman so much. You cannot imagine, mother, how painful it is to be alone …”And such a woman soon appeared, she became Consuelo Carrillo - the widow of the famous South American writer Gomez Carrillo.
Bride with a "butterfly complex"
Antoine was 31 years old when he finally got married. A small, graceful woman fluttered into the life of the Comte de Saint-Exupery, like a beautiful exotic butterfly. The writer's biographers in their books do not devote too much space to his wife. Antoine's relatives and even more so save on flattering reviews addressed to Consuelo, without touching on their relationship out of respect for a relative. But this woman played a fatal role in the entire subsequent life of the French writer.
According to one of the versions of the future Countess de Saint-Exupery herself, their romance began in heaven, when, taking off on his plane, in the company of Consuelo's drunken friends, the pilot threatened the young woman to go into a deep dive if she did not kiss him. According to contemporaries and eyewitnesses who watched the development of relations in this pair, everything was much more prosaic.
The pilot and his Muse tried to formalize the marriage at the City Hall several times. Antoine waited patiently, and the bride found one reason after another to refuse the registration. She even managed to escape from Exupery to Paris. At the same time, according to the experience gained in marriages with former husbands, anal sexes, she tirelessly tormented Tonio, trying to provoke outbursts of jealousy in him.
Consuelo's behavior is typical of a skin-visual woman with a butterfly complex. This is one of the life scenarios that Yuri Burlan talks about at the training, and it is due to the undeveloped properties of the visual and skin vectors. Such a woman, a temptress by nature, fragile, beautiful, flutters from one admirer to another.
Not the least role in choosing the next partner is played for her by his social status and financial situation. Skin-visual marriage with a "butterfly complex" in the usual sense of the word is of little interest. Children and family are always a hindrance for her, she is not ready to deal with her husband's problems.
When family ties turn into chains for such a woman, she begins to suffocate in marriage. As an outlet, she now and then returns to the obsessive thought of freedom, but not through divorce. She is haunted by a strange video sequence: the death of her husband, funeral, widowhood and … new hobbies.
Her fantasy intensifies these visions so much that they are gradually realized in life. A woman unconsciously brings her one, another, third … anal husband to a heart attack. Each scenario created by the "black widow" repeats the previous one in a new marriage.
If we talk about such a phenomenon as the “black widow complex” from the position of system-vector psychology, one should first of all pay attention to the fact that skin-visual women, whose properties of the visual vector are in the archetype, usually become multiple widows.
Her rich imagination, overgrown with new bright colors and details, achieves the realistic "storyboard" of the invented script. The very process of the inner work of the mind and the brain gives the "scriptwriter" inexpressible pleasure, mixed with worries and fears. The well-known proverb “The eyes are afraid, but the hands are doing” can be paraphrased: “The eyes are afraid, but the murderous fantasy works”.
By the age of 22, Consuelo was twice married and twice managed to be widowed. Her first husband, about whom little is known, according to some gossips, voluntarily passed away. The second was renowned Guatemalan writer, military journalist and Argentine diplomat Enrico Gomez Carrillo. This marriage turned out to be no less short than the previous one. Skin-visual Consuelo, a born storyteller and dreamer, lacked romance in a relationship with a serious male writer, much older than her in age.
The fifty-year-old spouse with an anal-sound-visual set of vectors has authored 80 books, according to Wikipedia. Gomez Carrillo died unexpectedly in Paris in 1927, leaving Consuelo a decent legacy: real estate, copyrights, acquaintances in literary circles and the friendship of many famous European writers of the time.
Antoine met Consuelo four years after her second widowhood. In the wardrobe of the twenty-six-year-old lady, mourning notes still prevailed. She herself, who proudly bore the title of "The Inconsolable Widow of Enrico Gomez Carrillo," was accepted in society solely for the merits of her deceased husband. Subsequently, the title of widow of the writer Comte de Saint-Exupéry will open up even greater opportunities for her.
Ksenia Aleksandrovna Kuprina, the daughter of the Russian writer Alexander Ivanovich Kuprin, who knew Consuelo well before her marriage to Saint-Exupery, recalled: “She lived in a small modest apartment. In one room in the corner, on a pedestal, was the mask of her husband Gomez Carilllo, which popped when she misbehaved. Yes, yes, she crackled, made a crackle … Everyone heard … Well, if she flirted with someone or said something that was not needed, the mask crackled, crackled … I also remember that in one room there was a huge table and on it a cast of the hands of Gomez Carilllo. This hand allegedly wrote at night. I really didn't see her write, but I saw the manuscript! In general, the atmosphere full of mysticism …"
Even if this was not the case, the skin-visual Consuelo, whose consciousness was in superstitious fears, easily managed to convince his young Russian friend of this, the same skin-visual one as herself. Visionary work, the agonizing expectation of trouble, the fear of living and the horror of dying are characteristic of people whose properties of the visual vector are not sufficiently developed.
The root fear of death, typical for a skin-visual woman, pushes her to search for ways to preserve life and obtain psychological balance. The search for the long-awaited sense of security and safety explains the frequent change of sexual partners.
Consuelo, as a visual woman, has the highest and most frequent amplitude of changes in emotional states. To support her, she uses all sorts of ways of experiencing, for this, again and again, find herself where she is provided with mortal fear and chilling horror.
Consuelo's reasons for emotional leapfrog were very different. Her fantasy told her what to hook on to increase the amplitude of fear. "Bursting masks", "writing hands", lonely, life-threatening walks through the night forest plantations or revolution-ridden Buenos Aires. Consuelo's fantasies and fictions, coupled with visual chatter, successfully induced not only her, believing in her own invented stories, but also friends.
Then Ksenia Kuprina continues: “… one day she calls me, her voice is completely dead:“Come now!” I arrived … she was all in black … all in tears. And then she told me that she finally met a man - strong, beautiful, wonderful, who saved her from everything in life … grief, despair, fear …"
It turned out that it was about de Saint-Exupery, whom Consuelo met in Buenos Aires. A relationship arose between the pilot and the visual dreamer, which led them to the mayor's office to register the marriage. However, Consuelo fled to Paris, hoping that Antoine would drop everything and rush after her. But he was busy at Aerpostal-Argentina, and due to unforeseen departures he did not make himself felt for some time. The failed bride was seized by fear and panic: this time events did not develop according to her usual scenario.
Wanting to receive support and a share of sympathy from her friend Ksenia Kuprina, Consuelo told the girl a tragic story about how her beloved died before her eyes. This favorite was a certain revolutionary hero, at the place of his execution "his scarlet blood flowed over white stones, bathed in the bright sun …"
It is known from the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan that there is another feature in the visual vector - a tendency to emotional blackmail. A person with a visual vector is a public and demonstrative creature. Acting out "personal drama" alone is not his style. He desperately needs "partners" and "spectators".
An undeveloped visual-skin woman who is in panic conditions loses control over her emotions. Her labile psyche is not able to withstand the superstress of external circumstances.
In this state, she is a woman capable of swallowing pills, cutting her veins, trying to jump off the balcony in the hope that someone will hold her by the coattails. In fact, this is an ordinary game for the audience, which sometimes ends tragically.
Consuelo found in Ksenia Kuprina a grateful spectator and even a participant for her performance, which lasted for several days: “Our mutual friend gave us the keys to his house … on a lake near Paris … and I … as such a nanny went with her … Three days and For three nights I kept running to pull her out of the lake, at night she would not let me sleep with her desperate tantrums, and I was still afraid that she would either open her veins or get poisoned …”[M. Mizho "Saint-Exupery"].
The suicide blackmail ended in three days. Consuelo received a telegram from Antoine and confessed to Xenia: "I thought - he left me, changed … And so I thought that he died!"
Read more …