I want to forget the person I loved. Trade the unhappy past for the happy present
A break in a relationship is like a small death for a person with a visual vector, because this is a break in an emotional connection, the most important thing in his life. He was born in order to love and warm the world around him with the warmth of his heart. This is what nature intended. Only sometimes love turns out to be short-lived, non-reciprocal, or not love at all …
“We met, loved each other, then began constant quarrels, jealousy. I'm tired of all. I gathered my courage and parted. At first everything was fine. Time has passed. The roof is going, very bad, my heart is breaking, I can not forget it. I know that she is also not very sweet, I don’t want to put up. Help her forget."
"Help! I want to forget my ex. He betrayed me. I can’t live on. There is emptiness in my soul."
"How to get a wife out of my heart?"
"How to let your husband go?"
Internet forums are full of cries for help, sad confessions about failed relationships, complaints, lamentations. And not only forums. My best friend has the same tragedy in life, he is chronically unlucky with women. Yes, and the neighbor above also has unhappy love, on pills for the second year already. What to do is not always clear.
What does the omniscient Google advise in such situations?
-
find another;
- go headlong into work;
- remember only bad things, only quarrels, only nagging, then unhappy love will burn in the furnace of hatred and resentment;
- throw away all things related to her / him, that is, live according to the principle out of sight out of mind;
- endure and suffer, and everything will somehow work itself out. Time cures. Everything passes and this will pass. It will grind, there will be flour …
These tips are good for others, but not for me. When I suffer, when there is an unhealed wound in my heart, there is no desire to philosophize and live according to proverbs, sayings and cliches. Even if they contain the wisdom of mankind for thousands of years. It hurts me! It hurts now! And I can't stand it!
Erase the memories of love
If you could reformat our head like a computer hard drive, throw the old, unnecessary, painful into the trash and load the new, beautiful, happy … Remember the fantastic and at the same time such a real movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? And its end. Are you happy? How will everything go there, will they not repeat the old mistakes?
A break in a relationship is like a small death for a person with a visual vector, because this is a break in an emotional connection, the most important thing in his life. He was born in order to love and warm the world around him with the warmth of his heart. This is what nature intended. Only sometimes love turns out to be short-lived, non-reciprocal, or not love at all, but an emotional dependence on the object of attraction. When a loved one is near, I feel good, when he is not, I can not think about anything and about anyone. I can't work, I can't live.
If in the vector set of a person there is also an anal vector, then it is extremely difficult to end even the most unhappy relationship. The innate value of the past and family, loyalty and devotion practically leave no chance for the owner of the anal vector to start a new happy relationship based on the unsuccessful experience of past love.
The more time passes, the more it seems to him that there, in the past, everything was wonderful and wonderful: cute little things like evening gatherings on the sofa in front of the fireplace, strong warm hugs, brunch together, and the future is full of frightening uncertainty, and SUCH love is already will not come.
Or, on the contrary, only scandals and tantrums, resentment and inattention are recalled. In this case, the resentment prevents the person from taking a step forward. It is like a heavy burden pulling into the past, when in nightmares and in memories you again and again experience the pain of parting and heartbeat from scandals, joint ups and downs. You sit and wait for everything to work out. But nothing happens.
That is why skin advice does not help the anal-visual person: get another one, throw it out of your head. It is easier for a person with a skin vector to do this - he lives in the present. And his memory is not so strong. And the nature of the anal vector is stability and constancy.
Leave the past in the past
Nevertheless, it is possible even for such people to escape from the captivity of the past. Vector systems psychology shows how to do this.
A person can use his properties in different ways - inward or outward, plus or minus. Awareness of their properties helps to understand how to use them correctly. Going out is always more fun, because there is a larger scale for the implementation of properties. Mental suffering is precisely what pushes us to reveal this simple truth.
The memory was given to the owner of the anal vector not at all so that he lived by his past unsuccessful relationships, for years he carried a heavy offense in himself. It was given to him so that he would receive the joy of realization in society. There is always where to apply your properties for the benefit of other people. In this case, work can also become a salvation from the past, if there is an awareness that this is not the worst scenario for the development of events. At the very least, this is better than obsessing over the personal, which did not take place.
The priority of the past was given to a person with an anal vector not at all so that he would get stuck in the constant living of the injustices inflicted, it was given to him in order to carry out a connection between generations - to transfer the accumulated information and experience to descendants. When we are realized outwardly, it is easier for us to overcome the difficult moments of life, and therefore, to build new happy relationships tomorrow, and not to suffer all our lives about the unfortunate yesterday, which is gone forever, which cannot be returned, cannot be changed.
Likewise, the owner of the visual vector has a great chance to realize what emotional connections are. By channeling your emotions outward, towards other people, it is possible to reveal happiness that is even greater than the little pleasure that the spectator received in an emotionally dependent relationship. Opening your heart to people in need of sympathy and empathy is the best medicine even in the case of severe bereavements of loved ones. Doing this, the visual person suddenly begins to feel not pain, but gratitude to the person who was with him, not longing, but light sadness.
How to create a happy relationship?
When the past is in the past, we begin to think about new relationships. But how can you avoid repeating mistakes? Here again we need awareness. Why do we build unhappy relationships? So that you want to forget them, erase them from life, as if they never existed?
“I need to forget the girl I love. Now we are fine, but there were quarrels over little things, incompatibility of character, opinions. Once we said too much to each other, parted, hated each other. Then everything was forgotten, and we started dating again, and love became even more. Now jealousy, pretensions, mistrust appear again. I can't live like this and I don't want to. I want to forget and stop loving her."
Have you noticed that sometimes we go as if in a circle: met, fell in love, lived, parted? We met a new love, began to build relationships and again on the same rake: she does not understand, he is inattentive, she cheated, he controls, she screams, he hits … We live the same scenario from time to time: the scenery changes, the names change, but not events. Why is this happening? What is it? Bad rock? Fate? Or is there no justice and happiness in the world?
It is our unconscious that writes the script of our life. The unconscious, in which there are childhood traumas, bad experiences, unhappy first love, ridiculed feelings, repressed suffering and quarrels and many other unnecessary, seemingly forever forgotten trash in the dusty attics of our souls.
Sometimes we struggle to deal with its manifestations. Affirmations, constellations, meditation. It helps? Sometimes for a brief moment it seems to us that the problem is solved: after all, we wrote all our claims on a piece of paper, burned it and scattered the ashes. They let a balloon with the words “Farewell to love” go into the sky, and it flew away. But time passes, and our unconscious catches up with us, jumping out of the corner at the most inopportune moment and once again turning our life into ruins.
The fact is that it is impossible to solve psychological problems by external influences, which means that it will not be possible to radically change life, as in the movies. Intellectually, we consciously understand everything, we try, we do everything as it should, according to books, according to the advice of friends, and unconsciously our resentments, addictions, scenarios for failure, victimization force us to go into a knowingly unhappy relationship with the wrong person.
There is one universal advice for creating a happy relationship with a guaranteed result - a deep understanding of your vector psychological characteristics and the motives of the chosen one's behavior. This girl is beautiful and emotional, but we see in advance that she will throw tantrums, demand attention, blackmail, and be jealous. This guy is very solid, serious, loyal. He will not cheat, but one day he may raise his hand to his beloved wife.
In addition, awareness of our nature, working through traumas even out our inner state, it becomes more harmonious. And we begin to attract happier, more fulfilled, mentally balanced people into our lives, including in couples.
Open your heart
Don't live in the past, don't live in pain. Feel the present, what is now. Something that you can touch with your hand. What is nearby. Live every minute, every second. Breathe deeply. To love here and now.
Hundreds of people were able to let go of the past and start a new life after training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan:
Do you want to forget insults and forgive betrayal? Do you want to remember only the good and not pull heavy weights of the past with you day after day? Looking to build a happy pairing relationship? It is possible. Come to the upcoming free online trainings on systemic vector psychology Yuri Burlana and take the helm of life in your hands. Register here.
