The leader by mistake, or why did I go to training
For a whole month I was sure that I was urethral! Already now I understand that I went to the training to prove to myself that it is so. It does not matter at all for what reasons you decide to go to the light of free introductory lectures, as you can see, my reasons are generally idiotic, but everyone gets their results!
If my memory does not deceive me, then I got to the training as follows …
There is a concept at Yuri Burlan's training "System-vector psychology" - the urethral vector. We call the carrier of this vector the urethral. His specific role is the leader. Congenital. When I was leafing through the articles in the portal's library, one, another, the third…. the thought struck my head: “Emayo! Yes, I'm a urethral, but I'm a leader! " And I was so happy and excited from this thought - just stunned! I did not sleep until morning - I was so happy. My attitude to "System-Vector Psychology" immediately changed, you, dear readers, have already understood why … From the importance I sulked like a turkey, came to my mother, I showed her: "Read!" - I say. - “It is written here that the urethral can not be belittled in rank - he reacts with anger! You can't belittle me in rank. Yes. I'm the leader. And then this … with anger … uh … I will react, here!"
It's funny now. And the funniest of all now is me. Laughter with a bitter taste and with the joy of self-understanding. In a sense, we all, Russian people, are leaders. The mentality in the vastness of Russia and some adjacent countries is urethral-muscular, and mentally we are all urethral. This is such a superstructure, a system of values. But I'm not urethral. I am not a leader. I am urethral exclusively by mentality. There was a moment when the realization of this fact gave me great suffering, and this is not a joke. The feeling that you are turning inside out, without exaggeration.
But then … For a whole month I was sure that I was urethral! I felt a surge of inner strength and was able to move mountains on the basis of self-hypnosis.
How I was a leader
Circumstances all the time developed in such a way that from time to time my "urethrality" was questioned.
In the evening I walked along a dark street all in fantasies, with a storm of emotions inside and the feeling that nothing gives rise to doubts about my own perfection. I am the leader, and that's it! A black thing loomed ahead. I think it's a mongrel. And for sure - she barked so unexpectedly, piercingly that my heart sank into my heels, and I myself froze for a moment, thinking - to run or what? And the fearlessness characteristic of the urethral has disappeared without a trace …
The leader is passion, always for increasing, for increasing, beyond the horizon.
And once I went to acting classes. And of course, from the very first lessons, with all his appearance, he began to show who is in charge here. Who's going to show their homework? I'm going to show my homework! Who is the best here? I'm the best here! In general, he set the pace for the group as best he could. But giving out another trick, at the peak of expression, I suddenly noticed that for some reason my palms were sweating, my hands were shaking. In this mode, I held out for a month, and then left, citing illness.
The leader is merciful, fair and responsible. His body has an incredible ability to maintain body temperature. The blood is hot.
Mom asked for help with her work - one of her employees did not come to work. “No, I won't go,” I say. Mom, not without a smile, appealed to the innate responsibility of the great leader. The "leader" condescended to help a commoner. "Dress warmly, the wind is cold outside." “I’m urethral, I don’t need your advice! My blood warms me! " The blood warmed up exactly until the first contact with iron - it was necessary to work on the street. Essentially a loader. I have to give credit to the strength of my fantasies. They kept me on my feet for the rest of the day. In the evening, the "leader" who died, wished to plop his face into the pillow, tired and angry, setting the radiators to the maximum heat transfer mode and wrapping himself up in a blanket more tightly.
The leader is polygamous. Highest libido. Not limited by law or morality. Finds a way out of any situation.
I see: a beautiful girl is standing. By the metro. One. I see the goal. I go straight to her. My heart gradually slips lower and lower, I begin to feel my skin "burning". When I already stand in front of her, I stop thinking about anything. Found: "Can I ask you for a cigarette?" This despite the fact that I do not smoke. Something is not sticking with my urethrality …
Already now I understand that I went to the training to prove to myself that I am a urethral. I asked questions only about this vector, and this is the only thing that interested me.
I persuaded my parents to give me money for the training. At first I didn’t even know that everything was happening on the Internet, I thought of going to Moscow, for some reason I took that the trainings were taking place there, although I seemed to have heard that the broadcast originated from New York. The parents agreed to everything! Oh, how I wanted to be a leader! I destroyed all difficulties on my way to the throne!
How does the sycophant live? Due to the fact that there are people who are pleased with what this person says. They understand that this is a deception, but they cannot do anything with their affection. A similar thing happened to me. I bought into toadying my own illusions.
… Now I think differently. In the sense that thoughts and feelings have changed. I determine that I have changed for the better.
Sometimes I am overcome by doubts. Am I kidding myself? Maybe someone is cheating on me? How am I different from people with my own truth?
The fact is that I feel all the changes in myself. I'm finally enjoying life. I've been studying for some unhappy four months, and this is… blinnnnnn…! It is a lot of fun !!! The main pleasure for me is the process of knowing my own "wrong side". I never thought it would be possible.
It does not matter at all what reasons you decide to go to the light of free introductory lectures, as you can see, my reasons are generally idiotic, but everyone gets their results!
There are also "negative" moments after the training. It became more difficult for me to get along with some people and phenomena. After the training, you often hear where a person is lying, where he is simply ready to devour everyone for the sake of another carrot from his fate. Where parents get pleasure at the expense of their children, rationalizing this by the fact that they are supposedly engaged in education. It can be seen where he himself is ready to devour a neighbor for the sake of the same gingerbread from the same blind spinner-fate. Have you seen Bosch's paintings? Depressing? Every day is not a picture - a movie from Bosch. Sometimes it can be unpleasant to feel abomination.
However, this is where the real opportunity to grow above yourself appears. You can correct yourself and leave the world of your own illusions, false opinions and ideas. The ability to feel and differentiate people appears, calling their manifestations in precise words.
Someone who lives in fear learns to raise his head, someone who is depressed - to enjoy life, someone who is offended - to forgive. Through awareness, difficult conditions go away.
I read somewhere that we can choose whether to follow our desire or not, but we cannot choose the desires themselves. At the training, we say that desires are inherent in a person from birth. This is the law. A person lives his life, running away from greater suffering to less, in pursuit of greater pleasures.
Someone says that they would not write about myself as frankly as I am doing now. I'm writing. Why? I have no task to download you. Everything is very simple. I get pure crystallized pleasure from the training "System Vector Psychology". No matter - money or anything else like that, I write for myself. For my own pleasure.
As always, dedicated to the Seekers.
Proofreader: Galina Rzhannikova