Suicidal Complex: All I Need Is A Place To Step FORWARD
Nobody ever understands what happened, they don't believe in suicide. How? Yesterday he was having fun with us merrily and good-naturedly, but in the morning he is gone. What could have happened in just one night!
The suicidal complex … What is the classic image of a convinced suicide? Is this "a pale youth with a burning gaze", "my friend, an artist and a poet" - emaciated, disheveled, half-crazy youths, yearning and disappointed, reflective intellectuals who cannot find a place for themselves at the bustling worldly fair of vanity? Or maybe just fledgling emo in permanent pseudo-suicidal hysteria, and striving to fly out the window, open their veins or hang themselves? How do we imagine them?
The suicidal inclinations of such suicides, sound and visual people, for all the seriousness and severity of their conditions, equalize in two counts - just know what gaps to fill. And contrary to stereotypes, the carriers of the suicidal complex are precisely those people who, in the ordinary opinion, do not fit into this gloomy image.
They do not fit in so much that the version of their suicide looks simply unconvincing, and decades later echoes of legends and vague guesses are heard again: maybe it was a murder covered by a staged suicide ?!
And until now, for example, rumors are circulating, research is being carried out, even a movie is being made about the investigation into the circumstances of Yesenin's death … Without the help of systemic categories, it is impossible to understand and explain how people like him, who have everything they can want, loved by so many women, could voluntarily die.
At the same time, upon a systematic examination, it becomes obvious that Yesenin completely realized a negative life scenario in urethral-sound mixing. Just like many of his other "brothers in urethral-sound misfortune": Pushkin and Bashlachev, Lermontov and Vysotsky, Mayakovsky and Tsoi … This mournful and majestic list goes on and on … And the whole description of their ups and downs, bright life and inevitable tragic death can be summed up in just two words - Suicidal complex!
Urethral-sound mixing is an explosive mixture of two dominant vectors.
What is this combination - the urethral vector going in the direction given by the sound? It is unique in that the desires of these two vectors do not mix, do not have the slightest intersection points. It is either a pure sound, realizing its desires with the full force of the urethral temperament, or naked urethral passion, not diluted with disembodied sound aspirations - a constant change of states, from one to another, from one to another.
The urethra and sound represent the greatest remoteness in terms of states: the urethra with an irrepressible love of life, an explosive temperament, a huge libido and an overwhelming passion for Life … And the sound, whose desires lie exclusively outside the material world, with its head immersed in the abstract and metaphysical, as far away from the "animals »Passions and nullifying the libidinal movement. It is impossible to simultaneously combine their extremely polar desires.
In the sound phase they create their brilliant creations. The lack of sound is completely exposed, not clouded by the slightest sensation of bodily shortages, libido is not aggravated - only sound! This is the purest sense of the word, musical sound, semantic abstraction.
So, in his essay "How to Make Poems", Vladimir Mayakovsky describes this state from the inside:
“Rhythm is the basis of any poetic thing. Rhythm can bring both the sound of the repeating sea, and the servant who slams the door every morning and, repeating, weaves, slapping in my mind, and even the rotation of the Earth. most likely - in me."
Exactly so - they have a "direct connection" to sound perfection, their work is not a product brought to mind by the diligence and diligence of anal professionalism, not a work sharpened with visual grace, they themselves are - creativity, which seems to be broadcast straight from the unconscious.
Imagine the adoration of admirers and the envy of colleagues in the shop! How unbearable it was for the moderately talented skin-sound Salieri, with the filigree technique of performing unsuccessfully pursuing elusive musical perfection, to see Mozart, who, without any visible effort, simply passed through himself, as if from above, the music of divine beauty sent to him …
And now Salieri is left with the score to hone his skills, and Mozart … goes back to the pub.
And if today I, a rude Hun, do not want to grimace in front of you …
Phase change! The urethra accumulated shortages and came out from under the asexual oppression of the sound, the suppressed desire broke out, the urethral vector was finally released. And then he begins to spontaneously pick up what was put on the back burner by sound:
I have one fun left:
Fingers in the mouth - and a cheerful whistle.
What a bawdy I am and a brawler.
This is the only way this yesterday's sound engineer knows how to “live life to the fullest”, but today he is not a true urethral person … Such people never realize the species role of a leader - of course! How can someone be responsible for a flock, whose natural animal altruism, which guarantees the life of the entire flock, at any moment can completely block the sound, inside which he will not care about anyone at all?
Naturally, remaining relatively underdeveloped in his properties, not burdened with the full rank of the leader, he will try to rank in the most primitive ways. The entire urethral phase takes place in a stormy spree in the "best" urethral traditions - hooliganism, fights in taverns, vodka and women … often also losers-loafers, elevating themselves in their eyes by closeness to a genius and basking in the rays of his urethral generosity …
Remember how many such geniuses, from whose scandalous lifestyle, contemporaries were horrified! The legendary adventures of Pushkin, the hooligan antics of Yesenin … One and the same scenario for everyone, and only small amendments are introduced into these identical destinies by different circumstances of place and time.
Between earth and sky - war
And what about the suicidal complex?
So he got drunk, ate ate, fell in love and walked up - filled with the simplest lack of a life-loving urethral vector. And His Majesty Sound invariably appears on the stage. It is good if there is a space for sound search, if he gets an outlet in creativity, is able to express his feelings in words or music. He can fight for his skin-visual muse in a restaurant in the evening, and write her a heartfelt dedication at night …
… But if the state of sound is a little worse, and it no longer finds itself in the transition to the sound phase. He had just been the impudent leader of an honest company, was walking merrily and loved women, when suddenly … a phase change! - he suddenly finds himself in the blatant abomination of a vile life, surrounded by a rough and crazed crowd. Comrades expect him to be dashing enthusiasm, women give him feedback as a super-desired sexual object - he, who has fallen into a sound anabiosis of bodily desires, into the darkness of sound depression …
The soul is constrained by itself, Life is hateful, but death is terrible, You find the root of torment in yourself
And heaven cannot be blamed for anything.
The sound vector is over-dominant. And if the saturation of uncontrollable urethrality is still quite achievable, although it requires considerable expenditure of energy, then the whole world is not enough for sound! Falling into a depressive sound phase, he stays there for a long time, much longer than the fun lasted. And so on until the next time, until the urethral libido, locked for the time being, goes off scale and again switches back - a phase change! And he again chokes from the Life that has befallen him, and compensation for filling becomes even more stormy, it is achieved even faster, and again - a sharp, inexorable rush into the void of sound depression … The phases replace each other more and more often, manifesting themselves more and more brightly and brighter.
Until this amplitude reaches a gap from plus to minus infinity … And once again, from the sparkling urethral animal altruism, it is thrown out on a universal scale by sound egocentrism, into the feeling of its complete opposite to everything that gives this world life, the light of life itself fades away, and only the all-consuming darkness of sound unsaturated desire remains. At this moment, the urethra, impetuous in making decisions, instantly and without hesitation throws this body out the window, preferring to die rather than continue to receive similar sensations.
Nobody ever understands what happened, they don't believe in suicide. How? Yesterday he was having fun with us cheerfully and good-naturedly, and in the morning he is gone. What could have happened in just one night! And now the leatherworkers, who had already envied him before, gloat: "Your genius is drunk to hell, you can't do anything through an extravagant drunkenness, even if you get into a noose!" Analists are looking for and find the culprit: “All this bitch - brought the man! Eh, brothers, we overlooked it, didn't save it!..”Audience admirers are looking for hints of unhappy, heartbroken love in the last verses and songs …
It is interesting how differently the urethral-sound contemporaries who are still alive perceive the news of the suicide of a comrade. After Yesenin's death Tsvetaeva lived for a long sixteen years, and it is not difficult to imagine what those years were for her if she reacted to his suicide like this:
Brother in song trouble -
I envy you.
Let it be fulfilled even so -
Die in a separate room! -
How old is mine? a hundred years old?
It is clear that the "development of the plot" for the same life scenario can vary. The more a person is realized and fulfilled, the more favorable his life is. The suicidal complex may not be formed at all in the urethral sound specialist, whether the urethra is relatively realized and the sound has sufficient filling. Or, at worst, the presence of temporary sound content can slow down the script somewhat.
For a long time, Mayakovsky's muse sincerely served to glorify the revolution - what else could give sound more pleasure at that time than the ideas of social transformations! And he reacts to Yesenin's death in a completely different way:
“I learned about this at night, the grief must have remained grief, it must have been scattered by the morning, but in the morning the newspapers brought the dying lines:
In this life, dying is not new, But living, of course, is not new.
After these lines, Yesenin's death became a literary fact.
It immediately became clear how many hesitant this strong verse, namely the verse, would bring a revolver under the noose.
And no, no newspaper analyzes and articles can annul this verse.
With this verse you can and must fight with verse, and only with verse."
Read the same thing simply: how dare he, whose creativity can be useful for the Idea, so irresponsibly die! But even here you can see how, somewhere on the verge of consciousness, this motive is obsessively whining - not a single verse of someone who would not carry such a desire will fail under the revolver. And there will always be a reason - there will always be a reason … And the inevitability was not long in coming: after only five years, Vladimir Mayakovsky shot himself with his own pistol. He could not fight his own suicidal tendencies with verse for long.
There are many ways to the outcome of the suicidal scenario, here the range of nuances of states in both vectors is too wide to cover them completely. Someone does not have to throw the body out the window or pull the trigger, just at a certain moment, all life becomes an unaccountable pursuit of death on thin ice. Yes, only the lazy one does not know, for example, that for Pushkin the idea of shooting with Dantes, the best duelist of that time, was simply suicidal - that's what they said! Anyone who values his life would look for a way out, but here - no! The urethra will never recede, and the sound - that has no body value at all …
Well, if in the good old days, instead of putting a bullet in your temple on your own, you could condemn yourself to a dangerous military campaign or a duel, today one of the most popular ways of not so hasty, but guaranteed death, is drugs. From all others, even the most inveterate sound addicts, these, as in everything, are distinguished by the unrestrained and unbridled desire. “Know when to stop”, “stop in time”, “all is well that ends well” - all this is not about the urethral person. And not about the sound one, whose insane power of unquenched desires have only such a final consolation. Here everything happens "before they had time to look back": Janis Joplin took her last lethal dose at the age of twenty-seven. And again, as always, the circumstances of her death instantly began to become overgrown with rumors:
“… Many thought it strange that the police who arrived at the scene found a tidied room without any traces of disorder. It was suggested that someone in the room with Joplin destroyed the evidence and fled. Another oddity was that death was found to have occurred about ten minutes after the injection. All of this gave rise to rumors of a possible murder."
Decades pass, and the scenario does not change: recently the world said goodbye to Amy Winehouse, who left under similar circumstances at the age of the same twenty-seven years …
However, in the end, the method is completely unimportant. Another thing is important - the conditions of the modern world are still not adapted for survival, and even more so for the full realization of urethral sound specialists. With all the extraordinary talent, with frenzied popularity, dedication to creativity and universal recognition in Zemfira's songs, the suicidal motive becomes more and more distinct. She is still
… chose life, standing on the windowsill …
But now no music or poetry is sufficient to confidently keep the soul in the body, modern sound temperament requires much more, and the answer to the main sound question “Who am I? Why am I?" - this is already a basic necessity.
Someday, if we learn to at least formulate this vague lack for ourselves, to verbalize this question, to be aware of what this or that vector requires, namely urethral sound, today weaving at the end of the queue for happiness, joy and satisfaction from life, will become, as they should, "ahead of the whole planet."
The sound hungry for comprehension, supported by a powerful urethral movement, will be the first in the knowledge of both one's own and the collective unconscious, in the formation of the notorious society of the future, in which interaction between people will not be built on a primitive animal ranking, where all life is set in pursuit of its selfish shortcomings, but on the understanding of one's neighbor, where the urethral principle of giving to another, due to his shortcomings, will enter into universal mental value.