The child tortures animals. Part 1. Innocent "pranks" of the most obedient children
The issue of violence against pets is increasingly appearing in discussions on parenting forums. Why is my child torturing animals? Why doesn't he feel sorry for pets: cats, dogs, hamsters? Why does a child strangle a cat and tear off the legs and wings of insects?
The issue of violence against pets is increasingly appearing in discussions on parenting forums. Parents ask: why is my child torturing animals? Why doesn't he feel sorry for pets: cats, dogs, hamsters? Why does a child strangle a cat and tear off the legs and wings of insects?
6-year-old Varya asked to give her a pig to play and held her so tightly, despite the squeals of the animal, that … Then we considered it "knowledge of the world", explained everything and refused to buy new animals for two years. And now the child is already going to school, she begged me for a kitten on March 8. Again, they explained to her how to treat the animal. And in the evening my sister observes this scene: the kitten is crying, sitting on the floor. It turns out that Varya picked him up and threw him on the floor. We're shocked. Our family is very fond of animals. The sister punished her severely, but what to do next?
Having set out to find out what psychologists, parents and grandparents themselves think and write about this, I found out that there are a lot of opinions and, unfortunately, many of them do not lead to a solution to the problem. For example, it is believed that by tearing off the wings of an insect, a child satisfies his curiosity. At the same time, it is necessary to provide him with more information to quench his thirst for knowledge - to buy an encyclopedia of biology, to let him watch educational programs about animals. As a result, the child will eventually "outgrow" and stop torturing animals.
In fact, this is one of the rationalizations of adults. A small child can make a mistake once, but if such behavior is a tendency, then it is necessary to pay attention to this. Mom teaches, but the child still picks flowers, picks off the leaves from the trees, later shoots stones at the pigeons with obvious pleasure from the process, and then cheerfully tortures the dog in the yard … What to do when the child is already 6-7 years old, but he still has enough cat by the tail and swinging a screaming animal? Here the parent agrees that it’s not a matter of curiosity. What is it? There is one more explanation for worried parents: they say, children torture animals, having seen enough "stupid American" cartoons. They imitate the characters of cartoons and computer games and do not understand the difference between the virtual world and the real, that real animals are in pain. In this case, the school psychologist will advise parents to pay attention to the information that the child receives from TV and the Internet.
And, finally, cruelty to animals is associated with the fact that the child is mistreated by the parents themselves, physically punishing him or the child being offended in the children's collective. In these cases, it is advised not to punish, go to psychologists and constantly explain to the child that this should not be done with living beings. Even if they hurt you, they advise you to teach kindness, feel sorry for our smaller brothers, watch good cartoons. The reasons are named correctly and the advice is good, but what to do if these methods do not work at all?
A child torturing animals is a worrying symptom for parents
Psychologists and psychiatrists are sounding the alarm: a child's cruelty towards animals can be a serious symptom of mental disorders and a predisposition to commit crimes against people. That's right, there is such a connection. However, so far they do not know anything about which children tend to torment animals, what is the reason for this, whether it is possible to correct the child's condition and how to do it by the parents themselves.
Meanwhile, these issues are thoroughly studied at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan. In monthly online classes, thousands of parents get to know their children and truly begin to understand the "secret" motives of their behavior, including understanding the problem of child abuse.
It is not enough for a modern parent to know that the torment of animals by a child should not be ignored and that the child needs to "instill more kindness and love." A parent should know that closing a cat in the washing machine, pressing its ears with clothespins, throwing sticks at yard cats is not a childish prank, but a symptom of psychological distress of a certain type of children - with an anal vector (at the lectures "System Vector Psychology" this is the of the eight types of mental). Vector is innate desires and properties. Sadism in all its manifestations is characteristic only of people with an anal vector.
Why does a child torture animals?
Loss of security in a child with an anal vector
The basic need of any child is a sense of security, only in conditions of psychological comfort can the potential that is naturally inherent in him open and develop. Parents for the child are the guarantor of safety and a sense of security. It is they who, by their actions, "write" the fate of the child: either they traumatize him, leaving his properties undeveloped, or more or less reveal the child's potential, creating a fertile environment for successful realization in the future.
Unfortunately, not knowing the innate internal properties of our children, we destroy them by our actions, not on purpose. We just expect the child to correspond to our ideas and desires, without realizing it! For example, we teach a “bird” child to swim, because the “fish” mother swims and considers this manifestation to be normal and acceptable. We want to do our best, but, passing the thought through ourselves, not understanding our differences from the child, we often develop such relationships with the child and take such educational measures that traumatize the child's psyche. As a result, he loses the sense of security necessary for normal development.
We will analyze how this happens using the example of a child with an anal vector and a mother with a skin vector. The properties and desires of these vectors are completely opposite and do not intersect in anything. The mother's rejection and the desire to alter, suppress the "undesirable" properties of the child are manifested in her the more, the more she is not developed and is not realized in her properties. She will do this unconsciously, because she looks at the world and people exclusively through the prism of her desires, properties and values, and other people's properties and values annoy her. And even if she is a developed and realized skin, she still does not understand the characteristics and differences of her child from herself, and this prevents her from developing him most fully.
One of the features of children with an anal vector is that they are the only ones who are able to take offense and accumulate resentment, and this is a key moment in writing the life scenario of such a person. I will explain in more detail below.
A child tortures animals: features of the psyche of children with an anal vector
Children with an anal vector are obedient, slow, neat and diligent. They have an innate desire for quality, for perfectionism, for order. They are characterized by perseverance and unhurried execution of any business. They cannot do several things at the same time, jumping from one to another, as a flexible skin does. The psychic of the anal is so arranged that he enjoys consistency in affairs, striving without fail to bring what he started to the end, to the point. Any unfinished business creates internal discomfort.
This meticulousness and slowness of theirs is a real test for a quick business skinny mom (time is money). She will definitely rush her anal son, teach him to do several things at the same time, learn to be collected, disciplined, so that she can instantly, on the fly (like herself!) Make decisions. The hurry will immediately affect the child with the anal vector: he will get stress.
“I was in a hurry, didn’t let me finish the drawing that I drew for my beloved mom, didn’t let it finish, but promised …” - minor episodes that do not mean for skin moms that are forgotten in the whirlwind of life, but not by the carriers of the anal vector. They have an innate wonderful memory and a heightened sense of justice, which will determine all their lives where the "truth" and where the "falsehood" is. To falsehood - in his subjective understanding - his psychic will respond with the first offense that he will remember forever.
So, on my mother's casually thrown question "How are you?" Such a child will begin to tell in detail how he woke up, brushed his teeth, got dressed and went to school, how he stumbled on the way and got his boot dirty, how he had to go to wipe it, and so on. When these children begin to tell something, it is very important that they were given the opportunity to finish, listened to without interrupting. If knocked off the story, he starts over. Start and finish so that everything is consistent - this is his mental comfort!
These moments unnerve the skin mother, since she is not of the same nature, her values are time saving, brevity, rationality. Such a mother will interrupt the child: "Make it short!" And he cannot be shorter and cannot be faster, his thinking is sharpened for a consistent and detailed presentation. The system-analytical mind, classifying, detailing, generalizing, is the mind of a scientist, which develops precisely in an atmosphere of unhurried and thorough immersion in details, their concentrated thinking and systematization, even if at first this is a detailed story to mom about a day at school. When a child is constantly interrupted, he gets stressed.
Another feature of anal children is to sit on the potty for a long time, sometimes 30-40 minutes. And this is not a whim and not a perversion, as it seems to some parents. The anal vector is not only certain features of the psyche, but also the corresponding erogenous zone. Everything related to the process of cleansing, first physiological and then psychological, is very important for such people. Their metabolism is slow, it is important for them to do everything slowly, to bring what they started to the end. But even on this process, the skin mother does not allow to concentrate, urges, hurries, pulls from the pot. Well, she doesn't understand that one can do there for so long! She went in and out of the closet. While dressing and answering the phone at the same time, she screams from the corridor: “How long can you sit? Come quickly! We're late for kindergarten! It would seem nothing criminal, but if my mother knewhow this process is important for her child, that the development of the child's properties depends on it, she would never do that. Until then … and here he gets stressed.
So, we can highlight the main points that will inevitably plunge a child with an anal vector into stress. This is pulling off the pot, frequent innovations in the child's life, interrupting speech and the inability to complete what has been started.
In the second part of the article, we will take a closer look at the stress factors for such children, as well as their consequences.
Continuation
