A child tortures animals. Part 2: How sadism is formed
Stress in a child with an anal vector greatly reduces his ability to learn to adapt to environmental changes. It will be difficult for him to start any business, and the need to make a decision turns into a stupor for him. Self-doubt and indecision, in severe cases, complete stupor - these are the components of the future life of such a person, if he was improperly developed in childhood.
Part 1. Innocent "pranks" of the most obedient children
How does stress manifest itself in a child with an anal vector? The anal vector is not only special personal qualities, but also manifestations of physiology, reflecting the type of mental. Not getting pleasure from the realization of his innate desires, the child unconsciously tries to get pleasure through the direct initiation of his erogenous zone. So in stress in such a child, the sphincter is clamped. As a result, constipation occurs and then pain during bowel movements. Going to the bathroom now requires overcoming pain, and every trip to the toilet is associated with a fear of pain. But after the pain comes relief. As a result, an unconscious fixation of this mechanism of receiving pleasure occurs in the psyche (painful is pleasant, in order to experience relief, you must first experience pain).
If stressful situations (pulling and interrupting, lack of support and approval of the mother) are constantly present in the child's life, then he will constantly have constipation. Mom will fight him unsuccessfully, dragging the child to the doctor and stuffing him with laxatives. In the meantime, the child will unconsciously fix the ligament "first it hurts - then it is nice."
So the mother, without knowing it, creates in the anal child the makings of a future sadist, and not a scientist or teacher. At first, the little tormentor will be curious to see how a cockroach will behave without legs, then it will be interesting to strangle the cat by the neck or put the hamster in the microwave. The sadistic aspirations brought into adulthood, supported in the adult state by sexual and social frustrations, will "present" society with a full-fledged sadist and domestic tyrant-rapist.
Another specific disorder in children with an anal vector is that with regular interruption, tearing off the child, the throat sphincter is clamped, as a result of which the child stutters.
The stress of such a child greatly reduces his ability to learn to adapt to the surrounding changes. It will be difficult for him to start any business (connection with defecation with constipation: it is scary to start, because it means to experience pain), and the need to make a decision turns into a stupor for him. Self-doubt and indecision, in severe cases, complete stupor - these are the components of the future life of the bearer of this vector, if it was incorrectly developed in childhood.
The child tortures animals. Resentment against the mother is a catalyst for destructive "undertakings"
I am a golden anal child, obedient, executive, ready to do anything for mommy. I love her and I expect from her that which will give me psychological comfort - protection, attention, praise, trust. And she, the dermal mother, drives me into stress and deprives me of protection. The child unconsciously turns such insecurity into a deep resentment against the mother, feeling what is happening as a betrayal. She didn't buy me the promised ice cream, but went to play for my sister on a swing. It's a shame. I didn’t notice how I cleaned up the room for her arrival, didn’t appreciate it or praise it, but I shouted that I had been in the bathroom for a long time before going to bed… It's a shame. Did you think these are trifles? No, not small things. A heightened sense of justice, everything should be equal - this is how the mental of an anal person works.
For a child with an anal vector, the mother is a saint, the first and most important woman in life. If everything went well with his mother, then he endlessly respects and loves her, cares, he is ready to do everything for her. If the relationship does not work out, mom will still be the most important in his life, only with a minus sign, he will hate her, take offense, living a life full of grievances and transferring them further - to other people, to his partner, to society, on god.
The relationship of such a child with his mother in childhood, one might say, determines his future relationships with people. Through them everything is revealed: both the ability to adapt in a team, and a sense of self-confidence.
Of course, it is impossible for mothers to eliminate and bypass all "offensive" situations. This is achieved in another way - through understanding the nature of your child and how it differs from your own. Knowing that she has an anal son, any mother will do everything to prevent the child from developing an offense. First of all, do not interrupt or tug, adequately praise the child - for the cause. It is very important to create a trusting relationship with him, to apologize as soon as you notice that this situation could create grounds for resentment.
With regular stresses created by the mother, the development of innate properties is inhibited, such as perseverance, accuracy, the desire for completeness - for perfectionism. Instead of positive development, the properties of the anal vector receive the opposite direction of development - negative: stubbornness and even sadism appear. Now I am no longer obedient, but a stubborn child, offended by my mother, ignoring her requests.
If a child tortures animals, this is a serious signal to parents that his development has gone in the wrong direction. And the reason for this is the relationship with the mother, resentment against her, inadequate punishment. Receiving pleasure from sadism occurs according to the same principle as in the difficult act of defecation: "first it hurts, then it is pleasant." I tortured cats, suddenly felt relief - compensated for my stress. Next time, he will specially go to torture animals in order to get his relief.
A child tortures animals: generalizing the causes of sadism
Let's summarize. The roots of sadism are in childhood. Only a child with an anal vector whose development has gone in the wrong direction can become a sadist. A child is not born a sadist! He can become such under the influence of the environment that educates him.
Let's name the reasons for the emergence of sadistic aspirations:
- a resentment against the mother has formed, which is constantly aggravated by her wrong actions: she hurries, urges, interrupts, shouts, does not praise, and for stubbornness - a crack or a slap on the butt;
- prolonged stress in a child due to father's abuse; scandals that make him save his life. In this case, the child's fragile psyche is subjected to tremendous stress, he completely loses his security. If the mother is not able to protect him from his father, this is regarded as a betrayal, resentment arises. I see cruelty from the people closest to me, I feel very bad (hurt), which means that I will hurt everyone else, first animals, and eventually people;
- physical punishment (slaps on the buttocks) as a method of education used by parents in the old fashioned way.
The son tortures the cat all the time. He is four years old, and one cannot say that he does not understand anything. I scold him, of course, because it is impossible to look at it calmly. But now he pulls her tail when I am not at home or when I cannot see. She punished, put in a corner, even spanked, but to no avail. She explained that the cat is in pain, that she is alive - the result is zero. Just some kind of sadist grows up. What to do?
You can not physically punish any child, it is always a retardation of development and trauma. When you punish a child with a belt for torturing animals, don't expect your problem to be resolved in the desired direction. The child will torture animals, but so that no one sees or punishes. What's more terrible is that with your own hands you will raise a cruel person who likes to hurt others. Sadism in relation to animals is just the beginning, offenses and frustrations of already grown-up people tend to accumulate incrementally, preventing them from developing and realizing their given properties. Therefore, an undeveloped anal guy with grievances and frustrations can become a rapist, a cruel sadist, a pedophile.
The outwardly calm and kind boy suddenly began to show aggression towards pets. At first, according to the parents, 8-year-old Slava hanged newborn kittens in the kitchen, having previously wrapped them with wire. Then the small dogs became the object of his attention. As a result, there were at least 13 ruined lives on the account of the juvenile murderer.
A modest-looking child in conversation with pleasure told and even showed the deeds he had done. “I killed the kittens and puppies,” the boy says shyly. - I hung the kittens on this chair. One thrashed about a minute. I just wanted to do it. I like to kill them. I jumped over the puppies with my feet. One had a broken back. He died and was buried.
According to psychologists, the cruelty of children to animals can be the reason for their inability to empathize, therefore they are advised to talk with the child more about good, show him only good cartoons, read books for compassion, and focus on moral education. is that enough?
Yuri Burlan at the training "System-vector psychology" tells us that if a child with an anal vector experiences constant stress or resentment, no kind cartoon in the evenings will not teach him to torment animals.
Solution to the problem
The child needs the correct attitude of the parents and development according to his innate properties:
- the sense of security that parents create, especially the mother;
- emotional contact with the mother, trust;
- the ability to listen without interrupting;
- adequate praise for good deeds;
- a calm environment, when the child does something, including sitting on the potty, it is important to let him finish, without rushing.
Today it is criminal to bring up children at random, not understanding the nature of their mental, too high a price for our mistakes. Modern children are born multi-vector, with much greater desires and possibilities, and in order to reveal them, and not suppress them, parents need to be psychologically literate, understand the causes and consequences of the child's behavior and have time to correct it. While the child is still young, parents have every chance to correct negative manifestations such as stubbornness, sadistic aspirations, tantrums, theft, fears. It is necessary to have time to do the most important, difficult parental work before the age of 14-15 - to develop the child and give him a positive, time-appropriate start into adulthood.
You can start meeting your own child at Yuri Burlan's monthly free online trainings "System-Vector Psychology".
