One apple for two. Love or attraction
People meet, fall in love, get married, get divorced, and then again everything in a circle. For the closed, bored and exhausted millions. They rush in search of love and purity, comfort and coziness, special sensations, euphoria, passion, tenderness and understanding. They calculate the formula for love …
People meet, fall in love, get married, get divorced, and then again everything in a circle. For the closed, bored and exhausted millions. They rush in search of love and purity, comfort and coziness, special sensations, euphoria, passion, tenderness and understanding. They build theories “where does love begin”, what it should be based on, and why many relationships fly apart after three years. Calculate the formula for love. They try to reduce everything to chemistry and stumble, not finding answers to their questions.
From the standpoint of Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology", it is quite funny to observe how people squabble among themselves on the topic of love, trying to give it a single definition. It's funny because it doesn't exist. And all the "fault" is a different vector set of debaters.
Some, citing many weighty arguments, say that friendship and mutual respect between partners lies at the heart of love. Well, so that both in sorrow and in joy until old age together. The most important thing in life is family. The husband in the family is the head, the woman is the support. The meaning of life is in children. People with an anal vector think like this. How else? But if there is no respect or, God forbid, treason is just the end. And it will go: "women are fools", "men are goats" and endless resentment. “It is not clear where we are heading. Before, there were family values, but now”…
The second do not talk about love especially. They have no time - everything is on the run. The main thing in a relationship? Perspective! A rare person with a skin vector will marry if he does not see the benefits for his own further development. Marriage is a springboard to jump up and down! A woman is not only a source of pleasure, it is a status. A beautiful woman is a high status. Money, prestige, growth, connections, resources - the leatherworker thinks about it when entering into a relationship.
I came, I saw, I fell in love! Won. The urethral person generally does not fill his head with such thoughts, throwing himself headlong into the abyss of passion. As elsewhere, always and henceforth. On the rise, running, sharp, frantic feelings, experiences, balance on the verge of passion and abyss. Love? Comfort? Benefit? Only passion! Only natural, animal cravings, sexuality and full return.
Only a small part of people are sincerely convinced that the main thing in life, relationships and love is love itself. “Without love, and not life at all,” the spectator notes, peering into your face with wet eyes from tears. Love is the meaning of life. And whoever your partner is, the main thing is that you love him, and he loves you. With a lovely paradise and in a hut. Love is beautiful, it's something worth living for. Everything in the world for love.
And although times change, love - in the same sublime sense - is still able to only be people who, among others, have a visual vector (we are not talking about the sound vector), and they do it in different ways. They can fall in love, or they can be frightened, experience great happiness in a relationship or suffer from love addiction, while experiencing the most vivid feelings in their huge emotional amplitude.
Love and sex are incompatible?
Some viewers seriously think so. However, any real (and not platonic) relationship in a pair of "man and woman" is based on the most animal attraction. Naturally, it does not arise just like that, not aimlessly. We are attracted to one man (woman) with great force, but we don't even want to look at another (another). Everything has its own laws.
The laws of love attraction are first revealed at the training "System-vector psychology". Basically, the relationship between a man and a woman was created not at all for a pleasant pastime, but for the fulfillment of the task of the continuation of humanity in time, that is, the birth of children. Some partners are suitable for each other for this task, while others are not. Natural and unnatural pairs are formed according to this principle.
We choose those who do not choose us. Anal - urethral, urethral - cutaneous, cutaneous - anal. It would seem, why should Mother Nature complicate things so much, why do we like people who are similar to us, and we create relationships with completely different ones? It's simple. Each vector is a set of its desires, properties and abilities. When paired together, they provide better terrain survivability.
All attraction is always determined by the lower vectors. The lower vectors - anal, urethral, cutaneous, muscular - form a person's sexuality. The upper vectors give this attraction their own characteristics.
Attraction and love? Odno difference
Imagine two. Here they first met. Word for word, gesture for gesture, and they already feel mutual sympathy. A tremor runs throughout the body, internal tension brings the sweetness of anticipation and at the same time slight discomfort. A blush appears on the cheeks. At some point, a casual look or touch gives off a wave of desire and heat.
The sensations that form at this stage are usually called falling in love. However, as we already understand, this is actually an attraction. For people without upper vectors, the socially accepted word “love” means “want” in the best sense. I want you - it means there is a desire to move, do, create. Life energy (libido) is in full swing.
For sound and visual people, “I love” does not mean only “I want”, here, in addition, there is a whole range of feelings, that very love. The onlooker can admire and adore their partner. Can fall in love, feeling pity and compassion for a partner. He may “get intimidated” by choosing a partner with whom he will feel safe, that is, go into a relationship not out of love, but out of fear. The sound engineer will concentrate primarily on the feeling of spiritual closeness with his partner. Despite the volume of these experiences, they can be easily learned to differentiate.
What's the secret to a long-term relationship?
As we already understand, there is no universal answer.
Animal attraction lives for three years, and then it goes away, giving way to routine. Hence the common misconception that love lives for three years. People confuse love, falling in love and attraction, equating them.
“System-vector psychology” easily puts everything in its place.
If we are talking about a couple where partners have only lower vectors, long-term relationships are possible if they have something in common: common affairs, worries, work, a child. This cements them together and allows them to live in marriage for many years.
If the partners have a visual vector, then between them it is possible to establish something more than communication in business and worries. A deep emotional bond can be formed between them, which we call love. Here we are already talking about the partners' shared values, views on life, and spiritual closeness.
From falling in love to love
How is love formed? Spectators begin to dream about the person they like, go crazy over him, dream of meeting and touching. It is clear that this is not a deep feeling, but a superficial one, albeit a very bright one. Falling in love is the beginning of a great deep feeling, if you let it grow. It is important, understanding yourself and your partner, to get through this stage correctly if you want a serious relationship.
You don't need to throw yourself into bed, you need to let this feeling ripen, enjoying the romance of meetings and communication. What is a relationship without a romantic game? And what is romance without eroticism? Without kissing in the moonlight and walking hand in hand? Without the first hugs and touches? Without a glass of wine, drunk on a brotherhood and the first timid touch of lips to lips moistened with a tart drink? It is necessary to nurture mutual awe and desire, so that later they will merge in a single impulse. In this way, you will initially deepen your mutual feelings.
So what is next? Then you need to work on the relationship. Three years of attraction gives us pleasure in the relationship as it is, and it seems like it will never end. In a world where everyone wants everything at once, we rush to get drunk out of these relationships, giving nothing in return. This is how we waste precious time. For sighted people, this is the time to create a mutual emotional connection.
It is important to learn to feel your partner, to experience his joy and pain as your own. To be sad together, not to be ashamed of each other, not to be afraid of each other's tears. To be able to support each other with words, sympathy. This is not a matter of one, but both in a relationship. When partners mutually develop in this vein, the relationship becomes completely different. Even sex ceases to be just intercourse and becomes an act of love.
Read in the following articles:
- Love triangle rule.
- Ways to overcome love addiction.
- Different scenarios of relationships depending on the vector set of partners.
- Possibilities of breaking the deadlock out of relations.
