Child's personality development - is the apple far from the apple tree?
“What are they all different! One tomboy, and the other quiet. One hockey, and the other questions about the structure of the world. They differ from each other like heaven and earth! Why are they like this? How not to make a mistake and educate everyone correctly? How to give everyone the right direction in life?"
X-FACTOR OF CHILD PERSONALITY
“Sometimes there is a feeling that we are from different planets. Whatever I say or do, he understands in a completely different way. My son lives a life of his own, in which I have no place. What to do and how to help it?"
“What are they all different! One tomboy, and the other quiet. One hockey, and the other questions about the structure of the world. They differ from each other like heaven and earth! Why are they like this? How not to make a mistake and educate everyone correctly? How to give everyone the right direction in life?"
Asking such questions, parents, educators, educators, psychologists are faced with a problem. The problem of insufficient existing knowledge. While hundreds of approaches to the upbringing and development of a child's personality are described in the psychological literature, none of them allows parents and psychologists to avoid mistakes, sometimes irreparable.
The situation is complicated by the fact that the rate of maturation and development of children increases with each generation. In the relationship between parents and children, the threshold of misunderstanding is increasing, the psychological gap is growing, more and more efforts are required to speak the same language, be heard, understand and trust each other.
In the context of the growing helplessness of modern pedagogy, we speak louder and louder about the need for changes, the need to build a fundamentally different interaction along the line of an adult-child. And the basis for such changes has already been created.
A REVOLUTIONARY APPROACH TO PERSONAL RESEARCH
System-vector psychology for the first time puts psychological knowledge at the level of exact science, allowing at a completely different level to differentiate people regardless of their age and interact with them.
8 vectors - 8 sets of innate properties - 255 possible mixing options. Describing all personality types according to an innate set of vectors, system-vector psychology examines in detail the mechanisms of the emergence of desires and ways to satisfy the needs of each of the 8 vectors.
The numbers just seem big. Understanding, starting to differentiate and understand individual vectors, we gradually learn to add the whole picture in volume. The vectors, and then the vector bundles, become easily recognizable, and the understanding only deepens with time. Every day and step of life becomes a kind of visual aid in the study of system-vector psychology.
CHILD'S PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
In the development of each person, system-vector psychology distinguishes two main stages.
- Stage 1 - up to puberty inclusive (12-15 years old)
- Stage 2 - after puberty and until the end of life
There is one main difference between them. At the first stage, the development of vector properties of the child takes place (we will explain this later). At the second stage, the development of properties is no longer possible (only a small addition), and the meaning becomes the implementation of the already developed properties on the landscape.
What is meant by the development of vector properties? Let's look at an example. Everything is changing, the world is changing, so are we. In a primitive society, a person with a skin vector felt good, bringing food obtained by any means, including theft, into the cave, was in his place, saving food supplies. Today, this behavior is criminal and marginal. Thieves sit behind bars, and the whole neighborhood laughs at the buns. Greed itself is perceived as a vice.
Adaptive for the conditions of the modern world is the development of innate skin abilities to save into the ability to save not at the lowest level, when the ruble saves a penny, but at the level of the whole society - through the creation of engineering structures and structures that allow people not to waste time, money, energy, then there is no waste of extra resources.
The innate desire to limit grows from the actual limitation of everything and everything - at the lower level - to limitation through the creation of laws and control over their implementation. Etc.
In other words, in the period before and during puberty, there must be an adaptation of all properties-desires of each vector to the requirements of modern society.
However, as we can observe, due to improper upbringing, this does not always happen. Often the properties remain underdeveloped or do not develop at all.
People with a skin vector, in this case, become drunkards, become thieves, super-economical curmudgeons, masochists. The specific option again depends on the characteristics of growing up, as well as on the combination of the skin vector with other vectors.
Personal development is a complex and multifaceted process that requires deep knowledge and a clear understanding of the characteristics of the psyche of each particular child. And the upbringing of the personality of each kid can take place only taking into account his vector set.
What is good for some is a disaster for others.
For example, a child with an anal vector especially needs the approval and praise of parents and teachers, and a boy or girl with an urethral vector takes the same praise with hostility as an insult. A baby with an oral vector simply needs constant communication, constant listeners for the development of his innate properties, while a sound baby develops only in solitude and complete silence.
Even in the same family, children differ significantly in vectors, not to mention the collective of a kindergarten or school, where the whole "bouquet" is often represented.
CHILD BEHAVIOR. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
During the period of personality formation, the most important thing is to create appropriate conditions for the child to receive the maximum possible development of his vector properties.
For example, for the development of the skin vector, a child must be taught to regimen and discipline. With this approach, in the future he will be able to discipline others and become a good leader and organizer.
A skin excellent student can be rewarded with a tangible material gift for achieving a result, which will be a good incentive for further achievements. As for the encouragement for a girl with a skin vector, for her, encouragement with material values is categorically contraindicated. If you motivate her with money, then she will begin to perceive her body as an asset, a tool for earning. She will then go to look for a rich "sugar daddy" or even become a prostitute. A good option for a reward for a skin girl would be a free or interesting pastime (you can walk more, go to the cinema, go to the sea).
An acceptable punishment for a child with a skin vector is a restriction in space or time, but in no case a physical effect on the skin - his sensitive area. In the event of a beating, such a child will develop masochistic desires, which, under certain circumstances, will result in a life scenario of failure.
If you try to discipline a child with an urethral vector, the result will be completely opposite - outbursts of anger with a violent response and denial of any restrictions. The little leader needs to instill a sense of responsibility for others: "If not you, then who?" It is necessary to address him from the bottom up, as if consulting and respecting his rank: “Do you think we can go to kindergarten? How are the guys there without you?"
The best gift for a urethral rebel will be recognition of his highest status - a place at the head of the table, the title of head of the class, the commander of a football team.
There can be no punishment for a urethral child … As strange as it sounds. He will not draw any conclusions, will never think about his behavior and certainly will not reckon with someone's opinion, he will only form the belief that the world around him is hostile, and one needs to defend against it, and the best defense for a urethral is an attack.
CHILD'S PERSONAL FEATURES. EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT HERE
There are a lot of such nuances that affect the personality in the process of its development, but it is worth noting that training in system-vector psychology does not look like dictating thick notes, it gives such a deep understanding of the essence of each vector that the details themselves become obvious.
The use of systemic knowledge makes it possible to understand any, even the most outrageous, action of a child. Instead of irritation and aggression, he will evoke a slight smile of recognition.
For example, we see a particularly sensitive, emotional person in the children's team, pouring out all their feelings out - and we already know that we are facing a child with a visual vector. Closed, detached behavior, a gaze immersed in oneself and a seemingly inhibited reaction tell us that the child has a sound vector.
A special role in the development of the child's personality is played by the children's collective - kindergarten, school. In a properly formed kindergarten group and school class, everyone learns to play their specific role, as if in a mini-society, receiving additional incentives for the development of vector properties and improving the skills of existence in society.
Each child as a separate personality type requires a strictly individual approach both in education and training. Finding this approach is the responsibility of every parent and educator. And with system-vector psychology it becomes possible.
You can learn about the peculiarities of children with skin and anal vectors at the introductory free lectures.
