How to help your child get rid of nightmares
What should a mother, whose child sleeps quietly for only a few hours, and then suddenly starts toss and turn restlessly, cry and scream in his sleep? Even after she turns on the light, the child continues to sleep, he lies with his eyes closed, but screams so that his cry is heard throughout the entire entrance …
We are not mice, we are not birds, We are night ahi-fears!
We fly, spin, Catch up on horror …
Many people remember the 1981 children's cartoon "Not at all scary", where the night fears are simply adorable. This is understandable, because the creators of this masterpiece were not going to scare anyone, they just wanted to somehow identify a problem that has existed at all times: not all children are able to sleep quietly and peacefully at night. Some are just scared in the dark, others have nightmares.
Good night, children
Every mother has to put her child to bed every day, and every evening a similar ritual takes place in families with small children. Night is approaching, the child is fed with dinner, bathed and dressed in pajamas. Then they put him to bed and read a bedtime story. Alternatively, the child watches his favorite cartoons. Finally, Mom pulls the curtains tightly, turns off the lights and it's time for a night's sleep. Gradually, the child falls asleep, hugging his favorite toy. Now mom can safely do household chores. And, of course, from time to time she checks how her baby sleeps, straightens his blanket and is glad that the baby is already asleep. If the baby is old enough, then he can sleep peacefully until morning. In theory….
Scheduled Nightmare
But what should that mother do, whose child sleeps peacefully for only a few hours, and then suddenly starts tossing and turning restlessly, crying and screaming in his sleep. Even after she turns on the light, the child continues to sleep, he lies with his eyes closed, but screams so that his cry is heard throughout the entire staircase. The family tries to wake him up to calm him down, but nothing comes of it. Parents are afraid that neighbors will call social services, believing that they offend their child. Even if he manages to wake him up, he cannot really explain who or what he saw in a dream, what he was so scared of, and therefore it is difficult to calm him down.
Relatives are perplexed, where does such an attack come from? The family has normal relations, they love the child, take good care of him, help him develop, read fairy tales to him, and in the kindergarten he goes to a friendly group. And there are never any problems with sleeping there. During the day, the boy sleeps peacefully and wakes up only when the teacher wakes him up. At night, it’s another matter entirely. It is obvious that in the daytime he recovers from the shocks he experienced the day before. Parents just shrug their shoulders.
Horror flying on the wings of the night
If you have encountered such a phenomenon, then you know how hard it is, because the next day every family member, including the baby himself, feels overwhelmed. And if this happens every night, then there can be no question of any quality of life.
In the family of my friend, such an attack has been going on for three years, all household members are forced to take turns on duty in the baby's bedroom, but the whole house comes running to his cries. Recently, a friend admitted that they cannot cope with this situation on their own, and, most likely, in the near future they will have to take the child to a psychiatrist. There are simply no longer any forces.
During the day, this kid is no different from his peers, but at night he is powerless in front of his fears. They sneak into his dreams, he convulses, cries and screams in horror. He is talking to someone, trembling and repeating: "Don't, don't!"
All the talk that this is just a dream does not help. Nightmares are as real to him as the screen on which you see this article is to you.
Three months ago, I also thought that there was nothing to be done about it, and hoped that over time, everything in my friends' family would work out by itself: the boy would grow up and somehow calm down. But I (and at the same time my friends) were lucky, because I got to the training in Systemic Vector Psychology.
Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology training provides scientific knowledge about the mental characteristics of each person from the point of view of his innate desires. There are eight groups of such desires and the corresponding mental properties. In system-vector psychology, they are called vectors.
Our desires are always aimed at something, they show us the direction where their realization is possible, like a compass needle. Through their awareness, we get the key to understanding any person. This revolutionary approach allows us to understand the nature of any mental phenomenon from the point of view of our unconscious.
Fear has big eyes
The hero of our story is a typical representative of the visual vector. He loves everything beautiful, is very impressionable, can burst into tears over a touching cartoon or be frightened by a clown, is able to empathize with the heroes of fairy tales and cannot bear the loss of his favorite toy or pet.
In an adult state, such people can engage in creativity, art, get involved in theater, fashion. They can choose the profession of a doctor, become a volunteer, and engage in activities where it is necessary to show empathy and sympathy for others.
Visual people have good visual memory, imaginative intelligence. However, due to their fears, they can be superstitious. Like no other, they are capable of strong love, or sudden hysteria. Some of them love horror movies, go to fortune tellers and believe in corruption. The range of their feelings is maximum: from fear to love. Why does this happen and what is the nature of fears?
Day Watch
Our subconsciousness hides in its depths the memory of those times when our distant ancestors lived in the savannah, where it was impossible to survive alone. Each member of the tribe performed a useful function for the greater good. In conditions of survival among predators, the ability to instantly notice the slightest changes in the surrounding nature was especially important: to distinguish a crocodile from a log, and to drive children away from the water in time, to see a creeping leopard in the foliage and to have time to warn the entire tribe of danger. Or be the first to notice that dry grass has broken out.
Thanks to his especially sensitive vision, a person with a visual vector always saw danger first. His frightened "oh!" instantly picked up by the heralds of the pack, and the whole tribe was thrown off the spot. So everyone managed to keep themselves.
Even now, a visual person can be afraid of everything: clowns, dogs, darkness. Especially the darkness. After all, at night the spectator sees no danger.
It is quite understandable that predators sneaked up to the ancient camp to eat. The fear of being eaten is one of the oldest human fears. These are deep things.
Hence the double stress of the visual person. The eyes do not see anything in the dark, and a rich imagination draws scenes of a night feast, where he himself is the main dish.
With the onset of dusk, which means that with the deprivation of the opportunity to see the world around them, the spectators feel a complete inability to control the situation. Therefore, they have the strongest fear for their lives.
As the sun went down, the daytime guard of the pack (it was this function that was performed by a person with a visual vector), had to give way to his fellow sound engineer, whom nature awarded with excellent hearing. Unlike the daytime sentinel, the owner of the sound vector feels comfortable at night. He sits in pitch darkness and protects the sleep of his fellow tribesmen.
How terrible it is to live
The old dangers have passed, however, even now we can observe spectators suffering from fears. This is because a person is born in an archetypal state, which was adequate in the ancient flock.
And then, as Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology says, it is necessary to develop the properties inherent in the child so that he can realize himself in accordance with the modern world.
That is, you need to instill in the child the skill to endure the innate fear for his life outward through compassion for others. You can start by reading children's literature for empathy, so that he can show sympathy for the heroes of the works. You can also take your child to the theater for appropriate performances. And then gradually direct his attention to the surrounding real people in need of compassion.
If you let things take their course, then he will remain in primitive fears for his life.
In the future, this child will be unable to form emotional bonds with others. Because of this, all his attention will be focused only on himself, anxiety and panic will become his constant companions. His "working" tool will be hysteria. And in order to attract the attention of others, he will resort to any means, up to exhibitionism and suicide attempts. You can learn how to prevent such a development of events in your life at free trainings in system-vector psychology.
The task of any parent is to recognize the vectors of their child in time and help him develop them.
Kolobok-Kolobok, I will…
Returning to our baby with an understanding of where his problem came from, we draw the following conclusions.
To survive the crisis period of strong fears, at first the light in his bedroom must be on constantly, at least a night light. This will restore his confidence and allow him to relax. The standby light will provide the visual analyzer with a work front. Such an impressionable child needs to constantly see that he and his loved ones are safe.
However, it should be done as a temporary measure, "first aid". And at the same time, you need to gradually teach the child to get out of fears into compassion. Then after some time he will be able to calmly perceive the darkness. And the need for night lighting will disappear naturally.
Another important factor is that such children should not read scary tales with plots of cannibalism. The favorite fairy tale of the hero of this story is Kolobok. For three years he listened to her at night. And two hours after he fell asleep, he had a nightmare.
Let there be Light
It remains to add that spectators have a wide variety of fears: from the well-known to the most exotic. And, having dealt with night fears, you will warn the appearance of all the others. If you recognized your child in the hero of my article, teach him to properly direct his emotionality.
In order for such children to grow up happy, you need to know about all the features of raising children with a visual vector. Then you can help the child to bring the fear out, and it will transform into love.
Having studied the features of all eight vectors, you can create a beautiful mosaic. And you get a man…. Beautiful person.
Instead of an afterword:
A toy frigate is flying towards youth.
And he is quietly sleeping, my little soldier.
His visions at this hour are more beautiful than flowers, And outside the window Moscow cats are dancing a waltz ….
"Lullaby" (group "Nogu svelo!")
With the results of people trained by Yuri Burlan. can be found here:
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