It's hard to be a mother. From fear and helplessness to the joy of motherhood
Selfishness, irresponsibility, moral immaturity - whatever she is not accused of, and okay, if all this came only from strangers! Often the same, in the same words and expressions, relatives and friends say, and sometimes she herself thinks that she was not created for motherhood.
- Advise me something, I'm just all exhausted! He is constantly crying, he needs something endlessly, and I can't get away from him a single step! What? You say take it with you in a sling? Well, you understand … He needs to be fed! Breast! And how am I going to do it in front of everyone, say, in a shopping center? Can you tell me how you can quickly and painlessly excommunicate him, given that he is only four months old? Then I could really take him with me and feed him with a mixture from a bottle. What? You say you need to warm up the mixture? Yes, I somehow didn’t think about it …
Family psychologists, breastfeeding consultants, and pediatricians in district polyclinics are probably familiar with the image of such a "selfish and irresponsible" young mother. Despite the recent birth - a figurine, like a chiseled figurine. She is always dressed in fashion, her hair is stylishly styled, her face is skillfully made up, and her hands are manicured. And when only everything is in time, with the baby in her arms!
Looking from the outside, how such a beautiful mother rolls a stroller in front of her or carries a baby in a "kangaroo rucksack", it is impossible not to admire: well, at least now on the cover of the magazine!
However, as soon as others see the other side of such an idyllic picture, admiration is immediately replaced by angry rebuffs, and here graduates in the field of motherhood and childhood, alas, are not much different from idle gossips on the bench.
Selfishness, irresponsibility, moral immaturity - whatever she is not accused of, and okay, if all this came only from strangers! Often the same, in the same words and expressions, relatives and friends say, and sometimes she herself thinks that she was not created for motherhood.
Well, this is partly true - but exactly what is only partly! Based on the knowledge of Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology", we can easily recognize in such a woman the bearer of the skin-visual ligament of vectors, always seductively beautiful and emotional.
As a rule, such women experience difficulties in conceiving, and when the long-awaited pregnancy finally comes, very often, instead of joy, they experience shock and fear. “Nothing, nothing! - Relatives and girlfriends consoled, - here you will give birth, the maternal instinct will wake up, and everything will work out by itself! This is where the most important delusion lies, which can fundamentally ruin the life of both a young skin-visual mother and her baby.
Why is she like this?
Nature endowed the skin-visual woman with a flexible, beautiful body, sensuality, attractiveness, the ability to create emotional ties with both men and children, but deprived of the ability to bear children. That is why motherhood is so difficult for her to this day: she does not know what to do with the baby (how to bathe, how to swaddle, how to feed). But she gets along better with children over three years old: she is always a beloved aunt, beloved mother's friend, beloved teacher, beloved friend. She does it naturally, easily, as if by itself.
Here lies another delusion that confuses modern skin-visual mothers and their loved ones. When such a woman is developed in her properties, and above all in the visual vector, children are drawn to her and she gets along well with them. He easily comes up with various games and fun, knows how to find an approach even to the most wayward and restless child, and without any coercion, screams and nerves.
"You will be a wonderful mom!" - others say with confidence.
So why does she become confused and helpless with the birth of her own baby?
From animal to human
As the human civilization developed, multiplied and became more complex, the role of the skin-visual woman in it was also transformed. Actress, dancer, muse of an artist or poet - all this is she. A sister of mercy in war, a teacher in a peaceful life - she is also! Always in sight, always attracts men's looks. And all this is about a developed skin-visual woman.
When the condition of the visual cutaneous ligament of the vectors leaves much to be desired, instead of a muse and inspirer, a talented teacher or medical worker, we see a prostitute and a kept woman, a stripper or a porn actress, and at best, an ordinary playwright obsessed with her own appearance. Yes, silicone lips, buttocks and breasts unnaturally large for a flexible slender body - that's her too!
But in all of the above cases, there is one property that distinguishes the skin-visual from other women, or rather, its absence. The maternal instinct is what she does not have, and it is useless to expect that someday it will appear. However, this does not mean at all that the path to happy motherhood for such a woman is forbidden.
The maternal instinct (like any other instinct) is an animal manifestation of our nature. This is neither good nor bad - it's just a fact. And if in the described portrait of a skin-visual woman you recognized yourself - do not despair! At the animal level, you have no desire to immediately pick up a crying living lump, feed and lull you to sleep, but there is something else that will make you a wonderful mother of a grown baby, and for a teenager, a mother like you is just a gift!
As for the immediate care of the baby - do not hesitate to ask your husband for help, ask your mother, mother-in-law, friends for advice, and if something does not work out right away - in no case think that you are a bad mother!
Your strong point is the ability to establish an emotional connection with the child, to be his friend and playmate. After all, this is what you dreamed about when you decided to become a mother, isn't it?
To see a person in a small, helpless creature, to understand and reveal his abilities - this is your natural talent, in which you have no equal!
You ask, how is this possible when he is still so small that it is impossible to communicate with him? At the training, Yuri Burlan explains that every person comes into the world with a certain set of properties - vectors. Throughout life, they develop and fill, are in different states, but the vector set itself remains unchanged. Knowledge of system-vector psychology will help to understand the innate properties of a little man, to begin to understand and establish a connection with him even before he utters the first word.
In addition to understanding the innate properties of the child, the condition of the mother herself is also important. Returning to the woman from the beginning of the article, it must be assumed that her optic cutaneous ligament is not in the best condition. Although it is difficult to say if it was originally or was it due to the stress of having a baby. In a state of stress, even the most developed person in his properties can for some time behave in an archetypal, that is, primitive way. Thus, the inability to breastfeed in public places is not at all related to intimate shame, as it might seem to any other woman who sees the situation through herself. The skin-visual woman does not have a taboo on sexual behavior, which means that the feeling of female shame in the usual sense is not typical for her.
But to be afraid to look unattractive, to be ashamed of her forms, which have lost their former perfection in the process of pregnancy and feeding, she may well, if the visual vector is not in the best condition and is focused only on attracting attention to herself.
Whether the skin-visual mother will be the best friend and advisor to her baby, or the child will forever remain an annoying obstacle for her to shine in society, receive compliments and catch interested male looks, directly depends on how developed and realized she is. Excessive demonstrativeness, the desire to attract attention to oneself by any means is a sure sign of fears in the visual vector, which you can get rid of by shifting the focus of your attention from yourself to others.
Supermodel Natalia Vodianova is a striking example of an accomplished skin-visual mother who successfully combines her career with raising five children. Since childhood, Natalia helped her mother take care of her disabled sister, and this had a beneficial effect on the development of a sense of compassion, which nullifies visual fears. She carried this feeling through her whole life and, having become a world-famous supermodel, opened a charitable foundation that helps sick children.
It is also possible to get rid of fears and discover in yourself the ability for all-consuming love when you open up and better understand your innate mental properties.
PS
In conclusion, I would like to say a few words to the relatives and friends of a skin-visual woman who embarked on a difficult path of motherhood for her. As you probably already understood - it is useless to expect that she will become a "model mother" in the patriarchal sense of the word. But on the other hand, when the child grows up, she, like no one else, will be able to give him emotional support and maintain a trusting relationship, teach him to feel beautiful, find friends and girlfriends.
But to do this, you must help her now, while the child is still too young and needs care much more than communication.
A more complete understanding of the nature of the skin-visual woman and her role in the development of mankind is given by "System-vector psychology". We recommend starting with a free online training.
