Love is kind, you will love a goat. Find your soul mate
A meeting that inspires two. Falling in love, the beginning of a relationship - it seems that joint happiness is very close. Plans for the future, marriage … How does divorce and separation come from this?
Was the original choice wrong, or did we buried our own happiness?
People are used to getting a chance for happiness and giving it back without taking advantage of it. The failure of the union can be easily explained by various reasons, and the question WHY remains unchanged? Hundreds of why:
- Why didn't I see how he really is?
- Why didn't I understand that she needs something completely different from life?
- Why couldn't we be together - after all, it all started so well?
According to data in recent years, Russia is the leader in terms of divorce. For one million marriages a year, half a million divorces. About 37% of families split up after living together for less than 4 years. Every year 400 thousand children lose the opportunity to live in a full-fledged family.
MISS.
The relationship of two faceless, called "couple"
A meeting that inspires two. Falling in love, the beginning of a relationship - it seems that joint happiness is very close. Plans for the future, marriage … How does this result in divorce and separation?
Was the original choice wrong, or did we buried our own happiness?
What value is there in a relationship in which one thinks that the other can be changed, adjusted for himself? Where each continues to live his own separate life, being faceless for another, incomprehensible or even endowed with far-fetched features … Why do we love the illusion so much and do not believe our eyes when it suddenly begins to crumble?
Where can I get the answers? And how not to step into the abyss in the next relationship?
There are many tips that fill the pages of forums, glossy magazines, kitchen conversations. Psychologists give recommendations, the general meaning of which is to achieve mutual understanding in a pair. “You, Petya, understand Olya and accept her as she is. And you, Olya, did not drink Petya and also accept him as he is. And then a vinaigrette of conflicting recommendations for building this very understanding.
System-vector psychology dots all the i's and makes it possible to:
• initially understand whether this partner is right for you or not, go into a relationship with open eyes;
· Know how to interact with this particular partner in a couple in order to transfer the relationship from the 3 years of attraction allotted by nature to a long-term happy union.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan - a guide to understanding a person
Every person lives by striving to receive pleasure. And he can get the greatest pleasure in a relationship with another person. Desire → thought → intention → action. Our whole life and all our actions are based on this chain.
The goal is always the same - to be happy. Only no one knows that, depending on the vector set, each person has his own happiness.
Throw away ALL of these
· "If I were you…"
· "statistics show…"
· "Usually in such a situation people act …"
· "Psychologists say that in such situations it is necessary …"
And remember: we are born different!
One is calm, the other is active, the third is brooding, the fourth is daredevil (or all together - with a combination of vectors). Each vector is 36 unique desires that guide every action, every thought.
You don't need to spend years of your life learning to understand your partner. With system-vector psychology, 5 minutes of communication is enough for this.
When you start to differentiate vectors, then for a while it may seem that you have lost your mind - the actions of people become so predictable, absolutely understandable. What could be taken for fantasy becomes completely real: a person enters the room, and you can tell a lot about him and his life by just a few of his words and gestures. And after 5 minutes of communication, you already know him as a family member and understand whether you will succeed with him (in any relationship) or not.
And now we will debunk the most common one size fits all MYTHS about relationships in a couple.
The only other half
The second half does not exist. Millions of people on the planet fit together. Not out of the blue, of course - certain vector combinations form certain life scenarios. System-vector psychology reveals them in detail, so that it becomes akin to mathematics.
There are always chances of not being lonely.
“I will never love anyone again,” Petya says to himself for years, painfully experiencing a divorce from Masha.
It is difficult for him to switch to other relationships. He never ceases to hope that Masha will return, constantly recalls "how good everything was with them." And the further, the more it seems to him that there, in the past, it was good, and it will never be better, no next relationship will replace what happened with Masha.
Resentment against his ex-wife prevents him from building a relationship, he rushes with her and can even go to the extreme "all the women - s..ki, I had one."
And even if Petya does meet another, he will certainly tell that there is only one love in him, one and for all his life, the only real one! He asks the new darling to accept him “as he is,” with this deeply ingrained feeling for Masha. It hurts both …
The feeling of the bearer of the anal vector that it was the only love for life is an illusion given by nature, leading to a feeling of resentment if the relationship does not work out. Why given by nature?
Because the anal person is naturally monogamous. Everything that came before is better for him. Home and family for him are the highest value and priority. The purity of the woman too. He chooses the only one, for life, to start a family, “build a house, plant a tree and raise a son” (or a daughter - if he has a visual vector).
The first experience, whether successful or not, is critical to him. And God forbid, if not. Resentment is a real trap for an anal person. Psychic imbalance, oppressive feeling "I was not given enough!" (happiness, care, love). And a morbid obsession with the past.
It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman.
A deep awareness of what is happening inside gives such people tremendous relief. Grievances go away, and there is a desire to look forward again, to LIVE.
Not everyone wants to change
As you already understood, anal people do not cheat. Yes, yes, they are loyal and decent husbands and wives, devoted to their family and children. Want to find a real husband? Look for him, a leisurely, honest, professional anal person. (More detailed coordinates are already at the introductory free lectures).
But the carriers of the skin vector are the owners of the libido, which requires changes, novelty. We can say that they have an innate tendency to cheat. At the same time, they are the main owners, jealous, because they judge by themselves, through themselves. This is always not enough for them, and they want "something new."
In contrast to the anal person, the dermal person quickly adapts to new conditions, is not afraid of changes, but on the contrary, seeks them. The main thing for him in sex is the novelty factor. Over the course of a lifetime, leather workers have more sexual partners than others.
However, it's not all bad. Much also depends on the upper vectors (sound, visual, oral, olfactory). For example, the so-called pickupers are skin people without upper vectors or with an undeveloped (that is, unable to love) visual vector. These are ordinary sexy users, with a notebook in which new victories, new sexual experiences are entered.
The same skinny boy, but with a developed visual vector, will feel love for his partner, a feeling that will not let him just go to the side. And a skin man with sound may even be asexual (yes, it happens!).
How to saturate the novelty factor without betrayal? For this, all the accessories and role-playing games were invented (by the way, if you offer something similar to an anal woman, she will turn red with indignation and will never agree to “wear this muck”).
At the same time, the dermal person is by no means polygamous, although it is he who digs the ground with his hoof for the title of alpha male. Real polygamy is only in the urethral vector.
Not all vectors are submissive to love
"Love saves the world!" "The most important thing in life is love!"
You can't imagine how you can live without love?
This means that you are a person with a visual vector. Only he has a special need and ability to love, to create an emotional connection.
Viewers can even create it on the Internet, through correspondence on a dating site, for example. And how hard it is for them when a picture created thanks to imaginative thinking collapses completely at a meeting in reality!
There is great happiness in this emotional connection for a developed visual eye. Sensitive to replace experiences, responsive visuals become psychologists and advise us to "listen to the feelings of a partner", "share emotional experiences with him" and so on, so on, so on. Through ourselves (we do everything in our life through ourselves).
And everything would be fine if it were not for a lot of BUT:
- not everyone has a visual vector;
- not everyone has a developed visual vector, that is, they are able to love. Many have forever settled on the love of photographs, flowers, trinkets and cats with dogs, never having learned to love a person;
- in the combination of the visual vector with the sound one, love takes on completely different shades - not flying on the wings of love, but intoxicated "it is good to be silent together";
- and so on - you cannot reveal all the shades in one article.
So don't be surprised. “Not in love - I don't live, life is empty without love” - these are the thoughts of the spectator. And the rest are comfortable without it.
- Mom, you and dad have been together for 10 years, and do you love him? - the visual daughter will ask.
- Well, yes, probably, - mom will answer.
Lack of love does not mean lack of happiness.
Learn to be happy once and for all
Now you know that all relationship myths need to be dismissed.
It's time to understand. A man is a woman, and a woman is a man.
It's time to deeply understand all the desires and life values of a formed adult with whom you coexist in a pair.
It's time to build relationships not by touch, but for sure. And understand where each action leads.
It's time to have a clear coordinate system.
Watch on all monitors of the country! "Personal happiness for everyone!" - the answer of systemic vector psychology.
