Pornography As A Cause Of Failure Of Pair Relationships

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Pornography As A Cause Of Failure Of Pair Relationships
Pornography As A Cause Of Failure Of Pair Relationships

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Video: Pornography Isn't Your Problem | Jason Mahr | TEDxCincinnati 2023, February

Pornography as a cause of failure of pair relationships

What do we really want from a relationship? Why is pornography so harmful? Who is watching it and why?

The answers to all these questions are given by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.

Oil painting: a grown man in his 30s is single, sits at home in the evenings and watches porn. No wonder, because finding an erotic video on the Internet is easier than ordering pizza at home. You can find anyone, even for the most demanding taste. The Internet offers a wide variety of shapes, skin color, number of participants. You can find porn with any plot, porn that will meet any sexual fantasy.

Yes, it entertains someone, and someone even seriously gets hooked on viewing such materials. Although deep down in his soul, going out on the Internet in the evening in search of debauchery, such a man can experience a painful emptiness inside, a feeling of loneliness, a feeling that his life in this world is devalued and is not needed by anyone.

He drives these thoughts away and presses the button to get to the cherished site and get a few minutes of seemingly stolen pleasure, spied on from someone else's staged life. Not even real, but simulated. And even realizing all this, he remains an avid visitor to these sites, "knowing" from personal experience that all women want this and all women are divided into three groups: ladies, not ladies, and ladies, but not to you.

Only sex, nothing personal

It is in accordance with this principle that such a man chooses a partner for himself. There is no place for strong feelings, spiritual trepidation. It is important for him from the first meeting to assess his chances for sex. And it is advisable to implement them without delay.

In the modern world, consumer sex without obligation is already perceived as the norm. After all, if both agree, then why not? It is better than not having any relationship at all and accumulating sexual frustration.

However, does such an experience bring happiness and pleasure to a man and a woman? After all, what we want from a partner, as a rule, is not limited to sexual intercourse. So, squeezing ourselves into the Procrustean bed of sex without obligation, we are deprived of something more.

What do we really want from a relationship? Why is pornography so harmful? Who is watching it and why? The answers to all these questions are given by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.

Pornography as a manifestation of mortido

Many single men, instead of building a relationship with a woman, sit at home in the evenings and watch pornography. System-vector psychology claims that this is a real natural disaster for demography and for the psyche.

For demography, it is understandable, because such a man is not aimed at creating a family and having children. He does not want to be responsible for the woman and the child, he only wants easy sex and can even be content with self-gratification. And for the psyche - because he does not make efforts, but only gets his scanty pleasure, perhaps even with a smack of annoyance. I would like more, but it does not work. What is really going on?

Man is driven by two forces - libido and mortido. Libido in a broad sense is the passion for life, the desire to live, the desire to realize oneself, to gradually unfold in one's life the tightly compressed spiral of what was laid down by nature in one's life, to go through life according to one's destiny, according to one's destiny. In a narrow sense, libido is sexuality, which is different in each vector.

Pornography as a cause of failure of pair relationships
Pornography as a cause of failure of pair relationships

Mortido is the inverse of libido. This is the desire for death, for involution, extinction. Mortido begins to predominate over libido from about the age of 27, and increasingly regains its position towards adulthood. When we have accomplished everything we could, we collapse, exhaust our strength and internal reserves. We stop wanting and we have nothing else to accomplish. This is a natural process of generational change, conceived by nature to support life in general.

However, if for some reason we do not realize our potential, our predestination, and including our sexuality according to our vectors, we experience severe suffering. There is a tension between the unbearable pressure of the power of desire and the inability to get what you want. This creates a powerful internal contradiction, which either pushes us to a leap towards the goal, or forces us to surrender.

And if we give up, then in this case, in order to limit our suffering, nature triggers a protective mechanism - our life begins to move the mortido, and we slowly fade away. Apathy sets in - a state of desirelessness. This natural mechanism that limits the power of suffering makes it impossible to harm yourself or other people by actions that are caused by too strong frustration.

Man is conceived for a pair relationship. This is especially important for a man. Only by wanting a woman, he gets an impulse to move, a desire to achieve more, gets "fuel" to take place in life. When a man does not realize his sexuality, he begins to move mortido. His desires are gradually fading away. Lacking more, he watches pornography. But this is not enough to fill the sexuality of an adult man. Hence the annoyance and the feeling of painful emptiness.

Pornography as a manifestation of infantile sexuality

Each age has its own sexual characteristics. So, before puberty, sexuality does not need an object - it is infantile sexuality, that is, sexuality directed at itself. After leaving puberty, a person needs a partner to realize his sexuality. This is what nature intended: physiologically - for reproduction, and psychologically - for the implementation of the basic principle of pleasure. Thanks to him, a man realizes himself in a pair as a giver, and a woman as a receiver. Only for the sake of the desired woman, a man is ready to make efforts, which means he is able to take place and realize himself in society.

The process of arousal when watching pornography and self-satisfaction is a manifestation of infantile sexuality in an adult man. He is too lazy to strain, look for a woman, look after her, take care, build relationships. He wants it fast. With myself.


Why? The reasons may vary. Someone did not learn to create emotional connections, someone had a bad relationship experience: either in childhood with a mother, or with the first woman - an experience that is especially important for men with an anal vector, the main consumers of pornography. An experience that resulted in resentment against women and the thought that all women - send … That is, in a sexual sense, dirty. This means that you cannot build relationships with them.

It is also possible that a frustrated anal man finds himself a "dirty" woman, and then all his life rips off his frustrations on her - beats, verbally sadistic ("I got you out of the mud! You should be grateful to me!").

Pornography as a source of bad experiences

Men with an anal vector are by nature the most loyal and devoted husbands, very good family men. They are distinguished by special decency, striving for purity in relationships. Such a man can live with one woman all his life. Moreover, it is a man with an anal vector that has a very high libido, which needs constant realization. Even if he is not as inventive in bed as a leatherworker, he is tireless and will try to please a woman.

However, it is in men with an anal vector that difficulties in relationships with women most often arise. It is difficult for them to take the first step, they doubt themselves and are afraid to make some mistake, both in communication with a woman and in sexual terms.

Young guys with an anal vector, who have not yet had sexual experience, begin to get it on the Internet by looking at porn sites. At the same time, they begin to doubt themselves even more, comparing themselves to muscular lean porn actors. They worry that they will not be able to implement all that the Internet provides in abundance.

By focusing on technique, they cannot relax and enjoy intimacy. Because they begin to do something that is not inherent in them by nature. After all, men with an anal vector are conservative in everything, including sex. The missionary position is enough for them, and they are able to get special pleasure when they penetrate a woman from behind.

Attempts to perform some kind of complex sex technique may not bring the man with the anal vector the desired pleasure. In addition, they will leave him feeling that he is not up to par. And now such a man grows cold towards sex, begins to engage in it less and less, because he is afraid of "screwing up". And since it is difficult for him to satisfy a woman in the presence of such complexes, he lies down on the sofa in front of the TV and watches the hated porn, where muscular men do things that he never dreamed of.

Pornography as a Cost of Psychic Evolution

The general availability of pornography, associated with the development of technology in the skin phase of the development of society, leads to the fact that the emotional connection in a couple is devalued. In the anal phase of human development, which ended only a few decades ago, the family was the basic value in society. Divorces were viewed with condemnation. This forced people to rub against each other. As a result, many of our grandparents have lived long and happy lives together. They didn't even know what pornography was.

With the advent of the cutaneous phase of the development of society, the institution of marriage changes, one of the basic values ​​of the anal vector - the family - is under threat. The world is accelerating, speed and the desire for novelty, the ability to solve many diverse tasks at once become more important than quality. Therefore, many good specialists, owners of the anal vector, albeit slow, but striving for the quality of the work performed, end up on the street, they begin to accumulate social frustrations. Very often it hits the ability of such a man to keep the family from breaking up, leading to loneliness, frustration and the inability to create new relationships.

For a person with an anal vector, the division into "clean" and "dirty" is basic. Through this prism, a person with an anal vector passes all his life experience both in everyday life and in relationships. A developed and realized person with an anal vector perceives pornography as "dirty", so he will not watch it.

For the same reason, for a realized person with an anal vector, relationships without obligations are unacceptable. But the overstress associated with the loss of life guidelines in the consumer society makes people with the anal vector take this form of "free" relationships. However, this leads to an increase in frustration in the anal vector, which is manifested by the growth of profanity on the Internet, rape, and pedophilia.

Lack of realization, shortage in the skin vector, and at the level of society - shortages in the skin measure are manifested by promiscuous sexual intercourse, sex without obligations. The realization of the desires of the skin vector at a higher level, and most importantly - a breakthrough in sound measure, will lead to the withering away of these intermediate forms of relations.

Pornography as depersonalization of sexuality

The availability of pornography leads to the depersonalization of sexuality. An intimate relationship is no longer perceived as something sacred, as a sacrament between two people, as something deeply personal, hidden from prying eyes. On the contrary, pornography acts like a swear word, releasing our animal nature out. And worst of all, it affects our feelings and our vision, especially vulnerable people with a visual vector, for whom the whole life is perceived through love, the creation of emotional connections.


These people are especially sensitive to beauty, they are called to bring culture to our world. They are the ones who need a beautiful relationship, romance, deeply affectionate courtship. When faced with such an anti-cultural phenomenon as pornography, viewers experience severe stress. That which was sublime and beautiful becomes low and vulgar. Where a refined nature grew, cynicism suddenly appears. Created for the senses, a person becomes insensitive.

The availability of pornography leads to consumer sex. People meet for sex knowing exactly what they are going for. Business-like. No emotional connection. After all, without being emotionally involved in the life of another person, we do not allow him to become significant in our life and take a place in our heart. This means that you can part with such a "passing" person at any time in a businesslike manner. Without pain and a sense of loss, tearing the soul apart, without mental suffering.

We are afraid of mental suffering, afraid of being disappointed in relationships and hide behind emotional coldness, protecting ourselves from unnecessary worries, too strong feelings, into which we really want to dive headlong. As a result, we do not realize ourselves in a relationship, we do not get the pleasure that we could receive. After all, emotional connection and trust in a partner make relationships sincere and deep and help to get incomparable pleasure from the moment of intimacy.

Why don't you want sex after watching pornography?

When sex becomes impersonal, the desire for sex also disappears. After all, then having sex begins to be perceived as akin to brushing your teeth - as a mechanical action that we repeat every day without thinking about its meaning.

That is why, even if a man not only watches porn, but also tries to realize his sexuality in a couple, the repetition of various poses from pornographic films often does not bring the desired satisfaction. Because by mechanically repeating memorized actions, we do not reveal our own sexuality. And only understanding your vector nature reveals sexuality to the fullest.

The widespread availability of pornography devalues ​​the act of intercourse itself. The world is satiated with demonstrative eroticism, accessibility of easy, non-binding sex, disappointed in mechanistic sex without love. This leads to the fact that with such accessibility, more and more men and women generally refuse sex as a form of intimacy. Even in stable pairs, people begin to do this less and less.

Animal pleasure from sex is becoming scarce in the modern world with an increased volume of desire, with an increased volume of the psyche, where the regulation of relations is carried out by means of the upper vectors of the quartet of information - visual and sound. In accordance with the request of these two vectors, the world begins to look for new forms of intimacy, an acute shortage arises in the conscious creation of emotional and spiritual intimacy, which is an indispensable condition for receiving real genuine pleasure from intercourse between a man and a woman.

The path to intimacy

More always includes less, and not vice versa. Emotional connection in a couple includes the possibility of intercourse, and consumer sex does not include an emotional connection. However, relationships without commitments do not correspond to the modern volume of the human psyche, therefore they cannot satisfy anyone and massively cause even greater disappointment, become the very bad experience on which you cannot build a good one without awareness.

Therefore, when building paired relationships, you need to start with establishing an emotional connection and only then reveal each other's sexuality. Start by communicating with each other according to your interests, sincerely involved in the life of another person, and gradually become closer and closer emotionally. And at some point, realize that you think the same, that you are very similar in many ways. And then everything is guaranteed to work out in the intimate sphere.

Relationships built on an emotional connection are the reality of today, and building a spiritual sound connection between a man and a woman, based on understanding the other person as oneself, opens the door for us to the world of the future.

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan reveals the secret of the intimate life of every person - his preferences, sexual fantasies. This means that having such knowledge, you can deliver incredible pleasure to your partner and get unforgettable pleasure yourself. Genuine pleasure in a perfect form of intimacy that includes sexual, emotional and spiritual connection. When you understand his desires as your own, when you are sensually involved in his life, then it seems that not only bodies, but also souls merge together. Working through painful experiences during training in systemic vector psychology helps to free oneself from the shackles that prevent one from trusting a partner and opening up in a relationship.


Many have already managed to experience moments of genuine intimacy in a couple:

“Another important result is the realization that by giving love to your soul mate, you get even more love in return. Thanks to this, sexual life has radically changed, it has become of a higher quality (it began to blow my head away from pleasure and no millions are needed).

Ivan B., Perm Territory Read the full text of the result

"Sexuality? It seemed that I had no problem in this area) … But what is happening now … !!! Sensations on the physical level - brighter (at times !!!), deeper, sweeter!) You feel everything - it seems, even the movement of your partner's thoughts … This cannot be described in words, it is so much! And after all, everything that happens to me happens without any mysticism and witchcraft. This is the power of CONSCIOUSNESS!"

Veronica D., Wiel, Germany Read full result text

Register for free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan and discover the secret of achieving great sexual pleasure and creating intimate relationships that will last forever. And then pornography will cease to be in demand, and in the future it will quietly "die its own death" - as unnecessary.

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