What does a man need from a woman?
They love some, marry others. A girl who flashes a blush when a man shows her signs of attention attracts for marriage, and stunning, liberated beauties - for a frivolous, fleeting relationship. Why?
Do you want to reproduce with pixel precision the portrait of the ideal darling, which is painted in his head by a brutal macho man, a timid family man, an intelligent handsome man and any other man? We propose to dive into the issue, relying on an accurate understanding of the psychology of men and the role of women in their lives.
Tips from …
"If on the second date you can still obscure the gentleman, then on the third date sex is obligatory!" - muttered a monkey from a palm tree "improved layout" and a view of the sea, referring to the direction of the neighboring branch. Her friend picked up the casually dropped pearl of worldly wisdom and sighed: “What would I do without you! The first banana that I get from Vasya, I will share with you!"
This is not a sketch from the zoo. Initially, I read such a recommendation for building relationships with men in the newspaper. Then the brain somehow completed the situation itself, in which such an instruction could take place.
Sometimes it seems that the only thing that helps some "relationship experts" to disguise their primitive ignorant views is the ability to count. At least up to three. And they try to demonstrate this skill whenever possible. But what kind of dating count can we talk about in the modern world of complicated relationships? Even a robot vacuum cleaner can be reprogrammed by a cat accidentally pressing the device buttons. What can we say about a person, arranged much more subtly than any technique. And how can you consider the structure of a person so primitive as to rake all men with the same brush?
And if we assume that sex is necessary on the third date, then give a prediction: at what meeting will women's fingers open a velvet box from a jewelry store? Let those who believe that men are so simply arranged that it will not be difficult to predict their actions will answer.
Men are not simpler or more complex than women. But it will not work to draw up a universal schedule, where instead of the red dates of the calendar it will be indicated when to get acquainted with a man, when to move to live with him, and when to have children. It's too individual. And sex is far from the only thing that binds men and women, even if it is an adventure for one night.
The good news is that it is quite possible to understand the male psyche. To do this, you will need to make another foray into the primeval savannah. It is impossible to understand what a man needs from a woman without tracing at least a dotted line the history of human development.
The recipe for a strong relationship
Pumpkin "loves" nutmeg, chicken - curry, and a man - to eat deliciously. So? In fact, information about the compatibility of dishes and spices is not decisive in the matter of conquering a man. A bowl of borscht plays a much more important role for women, because it is important for her that a man is able to feed her and the child. It is no coincidence that an invitation to a restaurant is one of the traditional elements of courtship. The stomach paves the way for a woman's heart, not her chosen one.
A man wants a woman to inspire him, to make him want to give. In the broadest sense of the word - to give her your passion, attention, time, strength.
The basic desire of his psyche - I want a woman. It is this desire that makes him excited next to an attractive girl. For the sake of this desire, he is ready to move mountains, fly into space. Over time, only the form of expression changes. In ancient times, bunches of bananas were folded at the feet of a woman; millennia later, odes were composed in her honor and scientific theorems were proved. The desire to retire with a woman in order to get the longed-for orgasm has been the driving force for any man from time immemorial. But not everything is so simple.
Long gone are the days of primitive relationships, when favor for the male was determined solely by the presence of a food offering. He brought a portion of the mammoth - gave it attention, was left without prey - goodbye. For our ancestors, this state of affairs was normal, but today it is an infantile trade in the body.
Despite the fact that most modern women will be outraged if they are directly offered the format of the relationship of girls of easy virtue - product-body-product, advice to be like an ancient female goes off with a bang in the wrapper of headlines for women's trainings like teaching the art of flirting. Making eyes, keeping in mind the idea of a fur coat, and counting dates before sex, so as not to miss that respectable businessman - or rather his sporty Maybach and villa - the skills of an ordinary moth.
This approach to building relationships negates the woman's ability to give a man many times more than the usual physiological relaxation - inspiration for social achievements. A man wants wings to grow behind him from communication with a woman, but not everyone knows what causes such a state.
And it gives rise to his ability to feel.
At first, the driving force of a man becomes passion: the desire to give, which makes him perform feats for the sake of his only one. This involuntarily evokes an emotional response in a woman, which is important to kindle and turn into sensual intimacy or, simply put, love.
The more emotional openness a couple has, the easier it is for a woman to relax and trust a man. And he unconsciously feels that she is happy with him - calm, protected, joyful. Such an exchange of feelings each time brings the relationship to a higher level.
It is interesting that a man perceives his beloved woman as beautiful, even if objectively she does not fit into the reference image. Initially, a beautiful picture is important for him - a fit figure and well-groomed skin, emphasizing the dignity of clothes. But in order to attract your one and only, you don't have to be like a reed or in a haute couture outfit. Inner radiance is much more valuable. The main thing is that the smile should be relaxed - unconsciously any person defines insincerity, even if he is not aware of it.
Another myth, spread among women and associated with the obvious interest of most men in intimacy, says that the possession of sophisticated sexual techniques is supposedly capable of keeping him forever. But in no more than three years, these skills will lose their "holding" power, since the original natural attraction lasts no more than three years. If during this time emotional closeness has not been formed in a couple, then the relationship will dry out.
You can then embark on new ones, today there are no social obstacles for this. The difference is that constant happy relationships create an inexhaustible source of happiness for both men and women, and fleeting sexual stories create short-term relaxation.
Shy - it means liberated
They love some, marry others. A girl who flashes a blush when a man shows her signs of attention attracts for marriage, and stunning, liberated beauties - for a frivolous, fleeting relationship. Why?
All life on earth strives to reproduce itself in time. A man unconsciously wants to pass on his gene pool to the future and, in order to satisfy this desire, is literally ready to kill. Jokes about cuckolds are painful for men, because the child you are raising may turn out to be a stranger, while a woman is always confident that it will continue in her own children. Until now, periodically in the newspapers, there are reports of crimes motivated by jealousy. In a state of passion, the cultural layer accumulated by mankind flies off like a piece of the roof during a hurricane, and basic animal desires begin to guide the actions of men.
That is why, when we talk about what a man needs from a woman in a serious relationship, modesty comes first.
Female bashfulness is sometimes confused with bondage in bed. In fact, everything is exactly the opposite. Nature imposes a ban on women only on behavior - you cannot attract all men indiscriminately, otherwise they will kill each other and the human species will die out. In the bedroom, she is not limited by anything, and the more closely she follows natural prohibitions, the freer she is in expressing feelings with her only one.
Separate words are deserved by the skin-visual woman - a born seductress. It is she who drives men crazy and turns their heads. But even with such a woman, with the proper level of development, moral norms are developed that force them to behave decently in society. It was the skin-visual women who raised love into a cult, therefore, today they are capable of a particularly strong sensual response, but they do not strive for marriage, and they are called to marry much less often than other women.
Women on a new stage of development
But if a man is by nature overwhelmed with the desire for bestowal, then why is there so much violence and consumerism towards women in couples? The point is in the basic feature common to each person - greed, that is, the desire to use the other in his own interests, which either turns with the development of a person into the ability to take care of his neighbor, or remains at the primitive level.
“Masha, bring some vodka to me and my comrades! Aport! Come on faster, such an infection! " - banged a macho lion on the table with his paw … "Oh, no, not a lion … There is no male chauvinism in animals.
And with people - as much as necessary. And the period of exploitation of maternal instinct and suppression of female sexuality began approximately 12 thousand years ago. Then the primitive man is visited by the idea - to facilitate his work by exploiting the cattle. Why run after prey all over the savanna when you can domesticate a cow?
And if you also "tame" a woman? She naturally wants to give birth, during the period of bearing and feeding offspring, she needs help, and therefore is dependent. So let him, in exchange, take care of the housework and please her husband, “fearing” him.
Nobody even thought about her orgasm. The enjoyment of most women was of a different kind - intimacy with her husband gave birth to a sense of belonging to him and provided her with a sense of protection and security at the physical and mental levels. And motherhood gave meaning to life.
Hence the idea that a man needs from a woman for happiness, so that only she is submissive, and her head never hurts.
What theories are not built by modern women in order to avoid the fate of the servants of their own husbands. They learn to be “resourceful” and say “no”, intuitively understanding that a man needs more from a woman than following the principles of house building. But not everyone succeeds without a deep understanding of the male psyche.
The explosion thundered with the onset of a new stage in the development of society, at the dawn of the 20th century, when a general holiday of consumption was born. Long millennia of equating a woman with a robot for the reproduction of new generations led to the fact that a hundred years ago she loudly declared herself. The woman wanted to be on a par with the man. Although the same increased desire to be realized in society put at risk its main way of realization - the family.
And the opinions of men about what is happening were divided. Some want to return the woman "to her place" to the stove and children, others began to glorify women's freedom, taking advantage of the opportunity at any time to freely draw her into a sexual adventure. And in this matter, much depends on the individual characteristics of a man.
What kind of men are
Born family man
The value of men with an anal vector is family. They want wives who can cook borscht and iron shirts.
One of the strongest desires of such men is to be understood. For this, they are ready to carry their companion in their arms.
In a developed and realized state - golden husbands, the best fathers and high-class professionals. Otherwise - sadists and family tyrants, who are more opposed to female emancipation. Owners by nature, such men find it difficult to put up with the fact that women are no longer going to unquestioningly obey their spouses, and tend to think that the world is rapidly degrading.
The pragmatist and the getter
The qualities of a man with a skin vector formed the basis of the image of a logical and restrained earner, which was generalized and replicated to all men, without exception. They are rational and stingy in the expression of emotions, put social and property superiority above all else and are able to achieve high earnings and success.
A man with a skin vector is rational in his choice. He involuntarily gazes at women with whom he could make a profitable party. For example, those who have a close relative in a high position. Or girls with a rich dowry. Such men will like a woman who will amaze everyone with her beauty at a business presentation.
When they are not fully developed, they can use the woman. For example, choose a kept woman and build a relationship with her at the level of purchase and sale.
Romantic
Emotions are important for a man with a visual vector. It is a great misconception to think that guys are not capable of understanding feelings. It depends on the mental device! Moreover, it is interesting that life daily throws up material to debunk this myth, but people stubbornly cling to the hackneyed stereotype. Is emotionality alien to actors?
Are they dry, logical and insensitive? Even if one were to say that they got this skill through conscientious teaching in the theater schools, then hasn't anyone seen artistic little boys? But no, young men continue to persistently instill that men do not cry, and squeeze their characters into the frame of a social template.
In fact, strong feelings are vital for a man with a visual vector. The more his compassionate skills were encouraged as a child, the more he is capable of love, which is written about in books. But if a girl was teased for having his eyes on a wet spot, then there is a high probability that the guy will throw tantrums.
Thinker and Philosopher
Men who break ideas in the spirit of "yes they all need only one thing." Their main aspiration is to comprehend the metaphysical laws by which the universe is arranged. If these non-material desires are not fulfilled, then they do not want sex either.
Silence together for such men is more pleasant than chatter. If we are talking, then on intellectual topics. Men like no one else deserve the characteristics of those who flew from Mars. They tend to shut themselves off from the outside world, creating the impression of emotionlessness, although a storm of feelings can rage behind a cold appearance.
The sound people are more capable than others of building relationships of the future - a spiritual connection between a man and a woman, when both in a pair achieve complete interpenetration of passions, feelings and thoughts. Now this type of relationship may seem like something distant, but it is impossible to stop the process, in the coming years it will replace the current forms of marriage relations.
These are just small sketches, which do not exhaust the whole variety of male characters, but give a sense of how different the needs of different men can be. Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone puts their own meaning into it.
Understanding the true needs of a partner, and not evaluating him through the prism of his own system of values, is the first step towards creating a union that will become truly happy for two. You can learn how to create such a relationship at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
