How to raise a boy correctly
Do you want to know how to raise your son properly? So that he grows up to be a happy and fulfilled person?
-
Well, who do we have here? - the ultrasound doctor talked to Nikin the "puzzler". - Bah, we have a boy! I say exactly, waiting for the kid! Well, mommy, choose a name.
Nika was not herself with joy. Wow, the first-born - and immediately a boy! The husband will be happy. As soon as he found out that his wife was pregnant, he immediately began to dream of a son. He made plans for how they would play football together, ride a bike together, compete in computer races and collect Lego cities.
When the expectant mother got used to the idea that she was waiting for her little son, questions began to appear in my head: how to raise a boy so that he grows up brave, kind, smart? The books of the most authoritative psychologists were bought and studied by the newlyweds up and down. The couple was ready to meet with the child: it seemed to them that they knew everything about how to raise a boy.
Nika really gave birth to a son. It was a tiny, quiet lump that surprised Nika with its thoughtful look from birth. The boy grew up closed, immersed in his own inner world and did not show any interest in the outer world. He never found a common language with his father - he was not worried about either bicycles, or football, or Lego. He was fascinated only by computer games, but of a different order than his father: instead of simple races and fights, the boy chose WOW, Lineage and other fictional worlds.
Nika's methods of education, read in smart books, did not work. The maternal instinct was also silent. Instead of a kind, courageous, intelligent boy, her son grew up as an introverted outcast, "hanging" on the Web all day long. The father waved his hand at his son for a long time, only occasionally reproaching his wife that this is "her breed" …
This is not the only story that illustrates the difficulties that can arise in a family of loving parents. Such stories are a dime a dozen. Adequate-looking parents cannot understand their child - and not because they do not want to understand him, but because they do not know how. In this regard, the question: "How to raise a son?" - becomes not at all idle.
Psychologists admit that there can be no single scheme of ideal education. Each parent, to the best of his ability, tries to apply some pedagogical methods, albeit often stereotyped, obtained exclusively from personal experience.
It would seem that there is nothing wrong with this: each generation passes on its experience and knowledge to the next, so that it can skillfully protect itself and avoid mistakes. Moreover, parents are obliged to educate their children, teach life, and protect them from dangers. After all, who else will do this if not loving mom and dad?
On the other hand, it is precisely because of personal experience, crushing with a dead weight, because of the habit of considering our opinion as the only correct one, because of our tenacity for stereotypes that the gap between generations is formed, which does not allow parents to fully understand their child.
Do you want to know how to raise your son properly? So that he grows up to be a happy and fulfilled person?
To do this, you first need to understand his psychotype, or vector set, in his inner desires. And then find out what he has innate inclinations for, what can come of him in adulthood, and also how these same inclinations can be developed. It is imperative for a successful upbringing to know the typical mistakes that will only harm the development of your child.
All this is not fantasy. And not magic. All this is possible with the help of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology.
How to raise a man from a boy
Interest Ask. And the answer is no less interesting: far from all boys it is necessary to "mold" a man from childhood. In general, this question is typical for representatives of the anal vector, who always emphasize their masculinity, and demand the same behavior from children. The reason lies in their violent homophobia, behind which there are more serious things.
However, back to our boys. There are children who do not need to be taught anything - they grow up bold, a little daring, strong in spirit. Mothers of such children have no questions at all about how to raise a man from a boy. They are already born small men, grow up very quickly and take on non-childish responsibility. The main thing is not to ruin such qualities with your stereotyped upbringing.
These are children with a urethral vector (dominant, one of the eight identified in system-vector psychology), which got its name from the corresponding erogenous (sensitive) zone on the human body. You will rarely meet a child with such a vector - today only 5% of them are born (although only 1% survive). But if you do, remember for a long time: this is a clot of living energy, whose eyes are burning and dominant behavior is manifested in everything. He is sometimes mistakenly thought to be hyperactive.
Fathers with an anal vector, striving to make real men out of "urethral," are very mistaken: they cannot be suppressed, forced to do something, put pressure on them with their authority. These kids will always do just what they want. And if parents are really interested in how to properly raise a boy with a urethral vector, they should learn how to communicate with him: focus on his sense of responsibility, without limiting or setting a framework.
It is impossible to raise a man by grandfather's methods and from another special boy - with a skin-visual bundle of vectors (skin and visual). This is a special combination that rewards the child with a subtle mental organization. He is sensitive, gentle, compassionate. Among "normal" boys, the skin-visual boy becomes an outcast, a laughing stock. Often, the baby becomes the same laughing stock at home: the father beats and calls names a girl, the mother does not know what to do with him, as a result, the baby has serious internal problems …
Have you seen on the TV screens those who, with a grin, are called hysterical "not men" (metrosexuals, homosexuals, etc.)? Have you seen transvestites? This is our skin-visual boy, improperly brought up in childhood. Although in potential he can become an excellent actor, subtle psychologist and a brilliant ballet dancer.
How to educate him correctly? This is not as easy as it sounds, although the skin-visual boys are quite obedient and calm. They gravitate towards the society of girls, since among them they are comfortable and cozy. Support his desire, but at the same time teach him to be not a “girlfriend”, but a gallant gentleman, motivating that girls need male protection and help.
Among boys, it will be difficult for such a child to feel like one (there are good reasons for this). Nevertheless, you should not avoid their society - you need to teach the baby to adapt in it for his own good. For example, get him interested in street dancing. Plastic by nature, your child will earn the respect of peers with a fashionable and completely "masculine" dance.
Each vector has many nuances that must be taken into account when choosing a method for raising a child. All children demand their own special attitude, whether they are “skinny”, “anal”, “visual” or “sound”. Not to mention the "olfactory", "oral" and "urethral". There are a lot of these features, and they will be able to line up into a single system only after trainings in system-vector psychology.
Mentally healthy children are not that hard
You will be able to apply the knowledge gained at trainings in systemic vector psychology from the very birth of your child. Observe him, listen to his needs - and you will quickly understand who is in front of you: an active and inquisitive "skinny", an obedient and diligent "anal", a brooding "sound" or an impressionable "visual".
The individuality of your child is especially clearly visible by the age of two. How to raise a 2 year old boy? Systemically: study the abilities of your baby and start developing them according to age and vectors.
So, offer children with a visual vector paints, pencils and everything from which you can get a bright picture. For kids with a skin vector, offer outdoor games, and for the development of logic - classes with constructors and numbers. Give the quiet "analniks" wooden figures, which they will gladly put in a box. And for boys with a sound vector, ensure the perfect silence in the apartment.
While raising children, it is important not to waste precious time. The development of innate properties is possible only up to 13-15 years - the period of puberty. Then the stage of implementation already begins - all that you have managed to develop in your baby. The grown "baby" will use the baggage of properties with the level of development that you were able to provide him with until the end of his life.
Whether your child will be happy and fulfilled is up to you.
