The psychology of guilt: the eternal frustration of not meeting high ideals
How to deal with the annoyance that you are not of high quality, not of the highest grade? Where to find the strength, that impulse that gives energy to effectively work through the feeling of guilt and finally breathe this life, erasing the wording "not yet …" from your forehead?
Let's hug, all those who "gave hope" in childhood, who disappointed, could not and failed. Although I really wanted to. But, for various reasons, nothing happened. The psychology of guilt is a question that has long deprived me of peace.
I feel like a traitor, tormented by anger at myself mixed with shame and a sense of my own failure, unworthiness. It’s like I’m a defective item in the markdown department, covered in the dust of regret in the farthest, darkest corner of the window of life that no one ever approaches.
How to deal with the annoyance that you are not of high quality, not of the highest grade? Where to find strength, that impulse that gives energy to effectively work out the feeling of guilt and finally breathe this life, erasing the wording "not yet …" from your forehead.
I don't walk like that, I don't breathe like that, I don't live like that. I am a subhuman in an ocean of superpowers and I hide my gaze eloquently telling about the pain I feel under the pressure of the desire to be recognized and the impossibility to achieve it.
I want to understand why there is a feeling of guilt, why such emotions are felt by me, and how to get rid of them, how to fix everything.
How to understand what feeling of guilt is
It is difficult to imagine a person who could benefit from a constant feeling of guilt. With a prolonged stay of the psyche in negative, uncomfortable and painful states, psychosomatics begins to manifest itself at the physical level. This is a living reflection of the popular belief that "all diseases are from the nerves." Therefore, getting rid of feelings of guilt is sometimes vital.
For this, it is important to understand what the psychology of guilt is, that is, to plunge into the depths of the unconscious. This can be done using the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
It turns out that a life without guilt exists, and it is possible to find out why the feeling of guilt arises when you discover the concept of the anal vector.
The psychology of guilt: who is affected by this feeling
Learning ability, love and ability to learn are all innate properties of the owner of the anal vector. For this they are given perseverance, obedience, diligence, accuracy. Excellent memory for good academic success. Better than most to memorize large amounts of information.
It is natural that the entire volume of the human psyche with the anal vector is turned back to the past. Knowledge, books, history - this is the desire to adopt the experience of previous generations and assimilate it well in order to pass it on to the next generation.
Potentially, the owners of the anal vector are the best teachers, masters of their craft, professionals, because only those who have succeeded in teaching can teach. The psyche of such people is somewhat rigid, they take a long time to get used to new things, to changes, but the information or skill recorded in their memory remains forever.
The owners of the anal vector are couch potatoes, something new always causes a lot of stress. Therefore, they strive not to violate the usual boundaries of their habitat.
The highest value for people with an anal vector is family, children, comfort, traditions. These are people who strive to repeat the experience of fathers and grandfathers, to live according to old ways and customs, raising them in value in advance, because this is something that has been tested and mastered over the centuries, which means good.
What does guilt mean in psychology
For a person with an anal vector, it is of great importance that everything is equally, in the broadest sense. If he is looking for someone to blame, then both are to blame. If he chooses a winner, then friendship has won. If you made a gift, then now he must make an equivalent return present. So that everything is equal, so that no one offends anyone.
If he did something good, useful, he expects to be appreciated, praised, and recognized as an authority. And no awards are needed, give honor and respect - these, as Yuri Buran's system-vector psychology shows, are key moments for his psyche.
Sensitivity, by the way, is also characteristic of the anal vector and appears at the moment when a person feels that he gave more than he was returned in return. He perceives this as injustice, "because not equally." This is a very difficult state, paralyzing the psyche, and how to overcome it is a separate topic.
But in fact, feelings of resentment and guilt often go hand in hand and have similar causes, only in different directions. So, from the point of view of system-vector psychology, if an offense is when I position myself as a victim of circumstances and the unfair attitude of others, then guilt is when I did not give someone how much I owed, how much was expected of me. Or maybe he was wrong in relation to another.
Guilty without guilt - the psychology of guilt
Each person with an anal vector can trace different stages of the formation of a sense of guilt, and the basis for its occurrence is not always, but often, laid in childhood.
For example, when a child with an anal vector has a mother opposite in mental properties - the owner of a skin vector. The very speed, accuracy, flexibility, not used to long thinking and waiting. And for a child with an anal vector, mom is sacred, his whole world. And if mom says something like: "Again, because you are digging, I will be late for work"? It can be said with a guarantee that the mother's manipulation will inevitably inspire the child that he is guilty, and will instill a feeling of guilt in his soul.
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan proves that the most destructive consequences of guilt are when it is associated precisely with the values of the anal vector, when the feeling of guilt is associated with a family member, a close relative, those with whom blood ties are associated.
And if there is a feeling “I cannot give to the one who gave me, I cannot align, do equally, restore justice,” this causes the strongest discomfort, which brings great suffering. This is an intolerable inner discord. The person blames himself. This imbalance must be eliminated at all costs.
Feeling guilty doesn't mean being guilty
If you get hit, fight back. If you have offended, and the offender does not think of coming with an apology, the only way to even out the state is revenge. This is how a person with an anal vector feels it. And if he himself turned out to be the "offender"? Yes, the owner of the anal vector eats himself in this case. In every sense of the word.
"I reproach myself, putting myself in the position of a guilty, offender in relation to someone who is infinitely dear to me." How to deal with and correct this imbalance? Punish the offender. Often, "punishing" for a person with an anal vector is equal to "destroy".
This self-eating and full justification of the deservedness of this process, originating inside the psyche and fitting into the picture of the world, can eventually be transferred to the body. In this plane, one can look for the causes of some autoimmune diseases of a psychosomatic nature. The reason for the difficult experiences and psychosomatic consequences is the inadequate realization of the properties of our psyche.
To realize means, according to the definition of system-vector psychology, to use for the benefit of other people. Not looking back, living the past and replaying the past hundreds of times in your head, but using your full potential for the sake of other people, for the benefit of society. Use memory for its intended purpose - for study and learning, not for chewing on what you should have done and did not do.
How to get rid of guilt
If resentment is completely destructive for the psyche, then guilt can also act as a motivator for positive action. Some people manage not only to blame themselves, but to mobilize and transform their feelings and strengths to do something for others. Thus, the annoyance from the feeling of guilt is compensated by the positive emotions of satisfaction from the fact that it turned out to equalize the bias, to give.
From this point of view, guilt can be seen as something positive.
To understand how to work with your states, in order to deeply analyze your personal history, in order to get to the bottom of the very essence and be able to throw off forever the shackles of guilt and feel the ease of being yourself, there is a system-vector psychology.
Many people, thanks to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, managed to say "stop" to manipulations with feelings of resentment and guilt, which they openly talk about:
It is possible to free yourself from guilt
The psychology of guilt feelings is analyzed in detail by system-vector psychology into components in causal relationships in an understandable form.
Realizing the reasons for the negative state of the psyche, that interferes with life, a person transfers this phenomenon from the unconscious to that part of the consciousness that he is able to control. Awareness, as it were, highlights spots inside the black space of our soul.
When you understand the whole chain of causes and effects, then this is reflected in a significant improvement in both mental state and physical health.
If you want to learn more, free yourself from guilt and resentment, come to the free online training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
