Panic disorder: defeating a non-existent disease
Once upon a time it was very important for me to recover from an incomprehensible "disease", to answer the question why I feel fear and panic, why do I feel tired and sick, although the disease was not diagnosed?
Once upon a time it was very important for me to recover from an incomprehensible "disease", to answer the question why I feel fear and panic, why do I feel tired and sick, although the disease was not diagnosed?
The forums I found dedicated to panic disorders, phobias, psychosomatic disorders were amazing in the number of people! People have been sitting there for years, hoping to find an answer to how to recover from an incomprehensible ailment. They relish the details of their states and experiences, share symptoms, doctors' appointments, and psychotherapy experience. But their “illness” does not go away, after a while it returns, terrifying the person so much that he firmly “falls into her arms”, firmly believes that he is ill, and this is now forever. A person rushes about with his illness, like a chicken with an egg, trying more and more new drugs, but his life is becoming more bleak. Alas, for many people this is the case.
Therefore, I am writing this article so that people know that there is a solution to their problem with panic disorders and various fears. That it is in them, one has only to understand where it originates from. In the case of psychosomatic illnesses, medication is usually insufficient.
Our body signals
The mental state of a person is primary, and everything that happens in the body is a reflection of psychological states, reactions, emotional trauma. The ability to recognize our reactions, states, understanding what caused them and where to direct our forces, gives us the opportunity to be happier, more precisely in actions, and therefore healthier.
Until now, the traditional remedies for panic attacks and anxiety are sedatives, antidepressants, and proper breathing. Unfortunately, these measures only temporarily improve a person's physical condition, but do not eliminate the cause of panic disorder.
The search for illness in oneself, experiments with various drugs, on the contrary, aggravate the situation, since a person does not take responsibility for his condition, but shifts it to doctors and psychologists. A person does not understand that his psychological problems are the cause of poor physical well-being and may even cause the development of a psychosomatic illness.
Doctors gave this phenomenon a certain term - "somatization". This is when our, most often unconscious psychological distress - anxiety, fear, apathy, depression, is transformed into bodily symptoms. They can be very diverse: nausea, dizziness, weakness, fainting, lump in the throat, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, urinary disorders, pain of various localization and nature.
How to distinguish psychosomatic symptoms from illness? When examined for disease, as a rule, all test indicators remain normal. Various studies do not reveal pathology. In this case, a person complains of certain symptoms, malaise. And so it happened to me.
Fighting symptoms
Several years ago, I suffered from anxiety and fear that had no name. When suddenly, for no reason at all, an unreasonable fear rolled over me, my heart jumped out of my chest, as if I was running a hundred meters, my lungs did not have enough air, a lump appeared in my throat. I was so scared of my condition that I started to feel dizzy. I was taking a sedative, but I could not foresee in any way, prevent the occurrence of new panic attacks. I could not control my condition, I could not bring myself to stop being afraid of something unknown.
Against the background of these attacks, I began to closely monitor my health, observe the slightest changes in my body. All the changes that did not take place in him as usual (fever, palpitations) frightened me, gave food for new fears, already justified, related to the state of health. A slight increase in temperature spoiled my mood, I was already internally preparing to "get sick" and, as a rule, I fell ill with ARVI! But here I at least understood why the temperature (viruses, bacteria, runny nose, sore throat - everything is familiar and understandable).
But the unreasonable increase in body temperature during the day and rapid fatigue frightened me. I associated these symptoms with the deterioration of my health due to an undiagnosed illness. This means that I need to be examined, find the disease and cure it. So I started going to doctors in search of a diagnosis.
The main complaints were fever and fatigue. At different times, the symptomatology was supplemented by some kind of pain, the picture was ambiguous and contradictory. The doctor suspected inflammation of the bile ducts, gastritis, then there were suspicions of impaired reproductive function, inflammation of the thyroid gland.
All sorts of blood tests and examinations were prescribed, and when the results of all tests were normal, the verdict was pronounced: vegetative-vascular dystonia. The thermometer became my “reference book”, because the temperature was measured in the morning, evening and afternoon at first at the request of the doctor, and then just out of habit to “be in the know”.
A subfebrile temperature of 37.1–37.3 ° C became my norm, and it frightened me, my imagination drew various terrible diagnoses, which, perhaps, were hidden, and I did not know about them. When measuring the temperature throughout the day, I found that there is a direct dependence of the readings on my emotional state. So, with a strong stress for me associated with work (the need to defend, defend my decisions in front of an incompetent boss), the temperature could jump to 38 °, and by evening fall to 36.9 °!
At the end of such a working day, I was squeezed out like a lemon, physically tormented by heartbeats, fever, fatigue and indulged in self-pity. My situation did not improve with each new day, although to outsiders I seemed normal and healthy. My inner state was bad: depression, fear for myself, confusion from not knowing what to do in the fight against the disease. In the morning, immediately after waking up, I felt overwhelmed and tired. It took a tremendous effort to force myself to get out of bed and go to work!
Against the background of sedatives prescribed by the doctor, the temperature more often turned out to be normal, and this was pleasing, but not for long. I couldn't live on sedatives and tranquilizers all my life! Moreover, after a while, even the absence of a stressful situation began to give rise to a rise in temperature.
When everything becomes unhappy …
Once I was relaxing by the river with friends. Everything is fine - laughter, joy, I think, finally, a vacation! And suddenly a feeling of anxiety, palpitations violate the beauty of the moment. I try to switch my mind, distract myself, drink 2 tablets of valerian or corvalol. I think it's gone. And then I feel tired, as if crushed by a roller. Everything immediately becomes uninteresting: rest, people, and beautiful nature. I measure the temperature - 37.5 °, get upset and succumb to inner despair and self-pity. I go to bed for an hour or two, wake up - 36.8 °. How can this be? Maybe the thermometer is faulty? No, the other shows the same. What triggers the reaction? What interferes with my body thermoregulation? How to stop being afraid? I was looking for answers to these questions.
Systemic Clues
Visual vector
I received the first clues to my condition and illness at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. This is a new, revolutionary knowledge about the structure of the human psyche, manifested in it by vectors - groups of innate desires and properties.
As I gradually recognized myself, people, their reactions, motives of behavior, that is, penetrating into the depths of the collective unconscious, the reasons for my psychosomatic disorder and the mechanisms that trigger it were revealed to me.
During the training, I learned that there are people with a greater ability to feel and convey emotions than others, they are characterized by tremendous emotionality, impressionability, suggestibility. These are people with a visual vector, there are only 5% of them. They are easily frightened, often making an elephant out of a fly. They are also able to love and enjoy the beauty of this world.
Panic attacks, phobias, fears, pity, empathy, compassion, love and kindness to people are all manifestations of a person with a visual vector in various states. The common root of these states is the fear of death, which is the main cause of suffering and the impetus for the development of a person with a visual vector.
In the primitive flock, the early man with a visual vector, due to the innate fear of death, performed a specific function - to be afraid. Contemplating the beauty of the savannah, the keen eye of the spectator noticed the smallest changes in the landscape, detecting a predator long before its attack. Instantly frightened, the spectator conveyed this strongest emotion to the whole flock, forcing it to take off, thereby escaping from the predator. The only emotion of the early spectator was the fear of death, and it completely covered his emotional amplitude and was useful to the pack.
Over time, the volume of desires grew, and the collective psychic developed, evolved. A person with a visual vector found a different way to enjoy: he learned to push out his fear, turning it into its opposite quality - love and compassion.
In accordance with the innate desire and properties, the viewer has formed his own species role, useful for the flock - the assertion of the value of human life. At first, thanks to the ability to be frightened, they saved the flock from the predator, then they created culture as a way of limiting people's hostility to each other, which means they contributed to the survival of everyone. And today the spectators still face the same tasks: to limit hostility, love, compassion, create art, and carry the ideas of humanism into society.
Indoctrinated disease
The underdevelopment of the visual vector does not allow people to notice other people's sufferings and empathize with them, they are doomed to scanty "pleasure": fears, hysterics, emotional swings demanding attention to themselves. Not realizing his emotional amplitude outward (not fulfilling his natural task for the good of everyone), even a developed visual eye falls into fear in stress. He becomes suspicious, reacts sharply to what is happening to him, fears for his life. The higher the level of development and realization, the less fears a visual person experiences.
A person with a stressful or unrealized visual vector can literally instill illness in himself! For example, breaking an emotional connection with a loved one and the inability to direct their emotions in the right direction can lead to negative feelings of loneliness, melancholy, from which a person can get sick. Even positive events, such as a wedding, the birth of a child, for an unrealistic viewer can become a reason for the emergence of new fears.
Modern man is a polymorph, that is, carries on average 2–5 vectors, the properties and characteristics of each of which add up the mosaic of his personality. The state of development and implementation of each vector, of course, affects the resistance to stress and physical health, therefore, when considering a person's problem, it is imperative to take into account the entire set of his vectors and their states.
Skin vector
The human psyche and body with the skin vector are very flexible, therefore, the body adapts any unpleasant, painful conditions. Long-term mental discomfort, expressed as a bodily symptom, is easily remembered and absorbed by the body. And this is the role of the skin vector in the formation and course of psychosomatic disorders: painful symptoms cause self-pleasure from pain. This happens unconsciously, against our will. It is simply impossible to understand this without a deep understanding of who you are and what the skin vector is.
Anal vector
The anal vector has its own contribution to the formation of the psychosomatic reaction. The anal psychic is so arranged that it endows a person with the desire to accumulate and preserve everything that he once received - experience, knowledge, skills. The past is the anal's comfort zone. Any change in the established order causes internal anxiety and resistance in the anal vector. The future (new) is frightening with its uncertainty and unpredictability. This is expressed by inaction or inhibition, displeasure, doubt or criticism. You need to act, but a person has a stupor. The changes have yet to be adapted by their rigid psyche. And only when this is done, the anal leader will be able to feel comfortable, because his further actions will already take place along the path already traveled, time-tested.
There is nothing worse for an anal person than constant innovations in the workplace or the inability to finish what he started when he does not know what awaits him tomorrow at work. This unstable situation can put a person into a state of stress for a long time.
Difficulties with adaptation plus resentment at the “culprit of the situation”, an insufficiently realized skin vector, prone to flickering, which will drive anality into stress - all this contributes to the occurrence of painful symptoms in the body, often associated with the cardiovascular and digestive systems.
When an unrealized visual vector is added to this set, the state is aggravated: a person is afraid of the future (a new situation), but visually he is still afraid for himself, creating his own drama. He is scared to act, especially if he has to defend himself and his work in front of a “terrible” boss who drives him into stress.
Long-term experience of such stress, the inability to adapt to a certain situation and make a decision can transform into bodily symptoms.
Sound vector
This vector has a special role, its desires are dominant. This means that the non-realization of sound desires suppresses desires in all other vectors present in a person.
The sound vector is the only one of all whose desires do not touch the physical world. The task of the sound engineer is self-knowledge, finding the meaning and reason for being: who am I and why? Is there a God? Only he thinks about it, nobody else. The sound engineer is deeply immersed in himself, concentrates on himself, on his internal states.
When he does not receive thoughts and answers to his questions, apathy sets in, a lack of understanding of his role in life, a loss of meaning occurs, up to the onset of severe suffering - depression. He is looking for ways of self-development and self-knowledge, falls for esoteric teachings. For others, he is a strange freak, detached and unsociable. People prevent him from concentrating on himself, disrupt the course of his thoughts, so he prefers to isolate himself from them.
The state of unfulfillment of the sound vector can manifest itself as excessive sleepiness: it does not see the point of getting up in the morning. Waking up is always difficult for an audio person who prefers to meditate at night. For an unrealized sound engineer suffering from apathy, sleep is the closest state to death, a withdrawal from reality, an opportunity not to feel suffering. The sound engineer can sleep for a day, but get up completely tired and broken. After all, nothing in this world gives fulfillment of the sound desire, and most importantly, he cannot understand the reason for his state.
Apathy, self-digging, a desire to isolate myself from others contributed to the progress of my psychosomatic disorder, since the lack of a sound vector prevented other desires, primarily the visual vector, from opening up.
How to find support
Thanks to the training in systemic vector psychology, I was able to explain to myself all the past states and situations in my life. When I understood my characteristics and what I need, how I can realize myself in the best possible way, I experienced tremendous relief and improved health. Fatigue disappeared like a hand, there are no more panic attacks. This knowledge gave me a solid foundation.
It is possible to understand the whole mechanism of the occurrence of negative reactions, to determine all the connections between vectors, only to the person himself from the inside. This individual work can be started at trainings in systemic vector psychology, where the unconscious person is revealed.
Feel the joy of life again!
Thousands of responses from students and listeners of Yuri Burlan's trainings confirm that there is a way out of the psychosomatic trap. My victory over my condition is also confirmation of this.
Everyone can significantly improve their condition, resolve a problematic situation in the family, at work, and correct behavior when interacting with unpleasant people. After all, all the thoughts and feelings of another person, as well as their own (it's just harder to see and accept them), are predictable, subject to certain patterns.
Today it is possible and necessary to learn to understand your reactions and states, to manage them. How to manage? Through awareness of your essence, through the realization of your desires and properties in the right direction. This is what Yuri Burlan's training is all about.
The awareness that occurs already in the first lessons becomes thinking, and does not disappear anywhere after a while. Understanding their states leads either to a significant weakening of fears and psychosomatic disorders, a decrease in the level of anxiety, or to their complete disappearance.
So, for example, the fear of death as the cause of the ill-being of the visual person can be realized and realized by a certain action. How easy it is! If you are afraid for yourself - pay attention to your neighbor, give him your participation and attention. If you get sick yourself, get treatment, but don't make the illness your personal drama, don't let all your emotionality go into self-pity, look back at those who need your help. I want the attention and love of other people - give it to people yourself, and you will be much happier. Boring, dreary, joyless - turn on any soulful film and direct your unclaimed feeling into compassion for its heroes, live this state. When we empathize, we leave no room for fear, it goes away, the entire emotional amplitude is realized in love. After defeating your own fear, life will sparkle with new states and meaning.
