Lose weight - as the meaning of life
There is no more strength to be like that. And I'm sick of torturing myself too. I'm starving, and the weight comes back. The “two fingers to mouth” technique does not help either. Why were some of them born with a normal metabolism, and me with a slow one? Why should I live in a body that I hate?
“Mom, I don’t want to wear this junk!” Let's buy me a normal skirt, huh?
- This is not a normal skirt, but a leather strip. Do you want the whole class to look at your ass?
- Girls wear. Their mothers buy them adequate things.
- Yeah. And then from school immediately to the panel, in the same skirt and with her hair down.
Zhenya threw an apple into her briefcase, put on her hated brown skirt with a warm lining (“It's not summer, dress your ass warmly,” her mother said when buying) and, slamming the door, ran out.
- And don't you dare secretly paint your lips with this color! Like a prostitute, by God. I bought you a transparent lip gloss.
The mother's voice could be heard in the distance. And the joy that lipstick is always in his pocket warmed Zhenya much more than that damn uncomfortable old woman's skirt.
A year has passed
I'm not in the mood today, I don't want to go anywhere. Huge cheeks look out of the mirror, closing their eyes.
"How? Yesterday I drank half a pack of this stupid diuretic! Where are my cheekbones and thinned face?"
At least this way one could experience a little joy - a decent face in the morning, not swollen, not swollen. I would give everything to be beautiful and never get fat.
“Is the body used to it? Why is there no effect? It used to be the fastest way to lose weight in a day."
I always did this before an important event. Heck!
There were happy times when Prozac and Flu were sold over the counter. You drink and you don't feel like eating. Just salvation. Hand tremors sometimes, and a lot of energy, but most importantly - no craving for sweets and in general for food. Maybe find a doctor you know, suddenly sign a prescription.
From the diary
Do you seriously think that people who are looking for a way to quickly lose weight will listen to advice on proper nutrition and sports?
Tell that to skinny women who enjoy any diet. Hunger is joy, sport and discipline is happiness.
All these motivational videos, diets and PP recipes have been created for them.
Everything is different for me. Do you hear? Everything!
Do you want the truth?
I don't remember how I eat. But I know for sure that butter, fresh crispy bread, spicy sausages, sauces, or better the Grilled Poppy gourmet and country-style potatoes - that's what I love.
I hate those who thought of eating lettuce. A day, two … I can't take it anymore.
There is no more strength to be like that. And I'm sick of torturing myself too. I'm starving, and the weight comes back. The “two fingers to mouth” technique does not help either.
Why were some of them born with a normal metabolism, and me with a slow one?
Why should I live in a body that I hate?
Sometimes it comes to the point that you don't want to live. Loneliness eats.
I'm starting to hate guys for their stereotypes about the figure. Do you want a barbie? Model? A dull coat hanger? To your health.
Causes of excess weight that we do not know about
There are beliefs that we are not aware of. We can do whatever we want, take action to lose weight: run, drink drugs, starve, but this will not give a sustainable result. It is necessary to "change brains", to change perception, to get rid of unconscious attitudes that live on us and devour our lives.
Almost always, overweight in adolescents, and most adults, is associated with injuries that they received in childhood.
These are also resentments against mom, which we may not remember and not be aware of. This is the mother's state of stress, which is transmitted to the child until puberty.
What caused Zhenya's sharp weight gain? In part, the mother's screams and disapproval, because people with a slow metabolism are endowed with a special psyche - they need praise, support and recognition.
Perhaps Zhenya experienced stress at school or at home, ridicule, non-reciprocal feelings. Even the inability to express his femininity in clothes for Zhenya was disastrous.
She was not allowed to like the boys, to be like everyone else. And what does a girl, a woman always need? Be desired.
Weight is not the cause of our problems, but the effect.
And now about everything in order.
Cause and effect: we get up from the head to our feet
Zhenya. Puberty. An unconscious desire to seduce, please guys, the mating season is on its way.
If the tough guys followed Zhenya in droves, she would not eat. She would feel in demand as a woman. Who would think about seizing when life is in full swing? There would be no problem with weight.
But what if you feel “incapacitated, like a defective product”? If they look at you like you're a weak-willed glutton? It hurts.
It seems that if you do not lose weight, then you will remain on the sidelines of life. What is the point then?
When a girl does not feel the interest of the opposite sex in herself, her life seems to be devalued - this is how she feels. Feminine has been reset - that's it, there is no point in living if I don't lose weight. This is how this situation is perceived unconsciously.
“Guys, men have long been felt as traitors in their hearts. After all, they do not love me, but Svetka (Natasha, Lenka … - thin!). I know perfectly well that it is no worse than them. I am more interesting, deeper, smarter and more beautiful. Just remove a layer of fat from yourself and then …
Then they will see what beauty is hidden behind the shell of excess weight! Then they will want to know my soul.
Although who needs a soul now? Everyone needs sex, money, imaginary show-off. The world is a mess, and no one understands me …"
Hole
Often, overweight people cannot enjoy the taste of food. They don't feel food, they don't savor. They do not like to talk about it and do not eat in public. Sweep away food alone, voraciously.
They are trying to drown out the endless hunger, which is perceived as a need for food, but if you plunge into the unconscious, you can understand that it is not the stomach that sucks. A hole sucks inside us.
Bottomless and black. Our acute shortage, which we are not aware of.
This hole is the need for pleasure, love, pleasure, the desire to drown out pain, resentment, stress, disappointment (underline as appropriate).
Lack of understanding of ourselves pushes us to actions to fill the stomach. Then - self-flagellation and a feeling of guilt for what was done. Going to the toilet (two fingers in the mouth). Anger at myself for losing it. Resentment at the world that unfairly endowed you with a stupid body and a spoiled metabolism.
Why do others eat and not feed the horse? Why are they so happy, but I feel bad?
The girl feels that he has lost everything in the world. Excess weight is like defeat. I don't dream of anything. I do not want anything.
Strong resentment against the background of general depression aggravates the condition, in which it is impossible to lose weight.
And then what?
Now Zhenya is 18 (21, 30, 40 …) - put the number you need yourself.
Zhenya alone became a lesbian after school. Because the insult to the mother prevented her from creating a relationship with the guy and turned into an insult to all the guys - they seemed to her stupid and irresponsible. To meet with someone? And the body asked for pleasure. Zhenya now has a girlfriend.
The second Zhenya got married. I couldn't imagine life without a family. In marriage, she recovered even more. The visual vector asked for filling, the first emotions of falling in love were no longer experienced with her husband. He came home late from work, was not very talkative, and there was no particular closeness between them. She bought cakes and sweets to brighten up the evenings. Well, I cooked for the children, I had to eat with them. It is clear that there was no time for sports.
The third Zhenya did not meet either a lesbian friend or a husband. She seizes on her loneliness: no children, no love. Sits on the Internet on dating sites. But he doesn't go to meetings. Painfully. After all, once she had already received the whole truth that there is one girl in the photo, but in life some kind of aunt. Resentment against men grew. Resentment against my mother hurt. Resentment towards life, towards yourself … At your own weight. Don't be okay! Lose weight - by all means. Lose weight - to live. Losing weight is the only goal, the rest will come later.
The fourth Zhenya killed her health with pills and hunger strikes, burned her stomach and is now in a psychiatric clinic. Her unconscious search went deeper than beauty problems and even relationships with the opposite sex. Although this search can find the answer.
But I know another Zhenya. Met recently on the street. Here she really lost weight. Size four. The eyes are shining. I say: "In love?" She: “Aha, to life. And not only …”I understood myself, worked on subconscious life scenarios. I got rid of grievances against my mother, guys and all past experience. She relaxed and released her feelings … Doesn't go, but flies and shines with happiness from within.
And I thought that it was time for me to change my life, without violence against myself.
PS And how is it with you? Share your life experiences in the comments below the article.
