Anorgasmia. How to have fun
Despite the different causes of orgasmic dysfunction, most experts are convinced that psychogenic factors prevail over organic ones. And many organic disorders are of a psychogenic nature …
Some are convinced that during orgasm, a person feels like God at the moment of creating his Creation. I would like to believe it only because no experience gives such a strong pleasure as the experience of orgasm. And what if there is no orgasm and, perhaps, never happened? There is no one to talk about this - the topic is too intimate. I would like to say that now you are in the right place, here you can express not only all your questions and doubts, but also get answers to them.
The female orgasm is many times more powerful than the male. There is even such a joke that if a man had a female orgasm at least once, he would not want to remain a man anymore - a woman experiences such a strong pleasure. Men have only one type of orgasm, while women experience several. Today a woman is capable and should receive orgasmic pleasure, and there is no need to give it up.
Anorgasmia - Diagnosis or Misconception?
Anorgasmia is when orgasm does not occur at all or is noticeably delayed. A good reason is needed to make a woman this diagnosis. An orgasm disorder is defined as a persistent delay or persistent lack of orgasm that does not occur after arousal.
Anorgasmia is diagnosed when:
- Orgasm is completely absent, in all situations and with any partner - absolute anorgasmia.
- Lack of orgasmic discharge occurs only in some cases, when other methods of getting orgasm persist, for example, during coitus with a certain man or during moments of masturbation - relative anorgasmia.
Scientists emphasize that the reasons contributing to the onset of orgasmic discharge in women are situational and completely dependent on some psychological and physiological factors. A woman who turns to a sexologist with this problem is usually asked to undergo an examination and exclude problems associated with physiology. It is necessary to get advice from a gynecologist, endocrinologist, neurologist, angiosurgeon, undergo an examination of the brain, hormonal status and others. Certain organic disorders, which include chronic diseases, can block the achievement of orgasm, for example:
- diabetes;
- neurological problems;
- hormonal deficiency;
- changes in the thyroid gland;
- pathology of the pelvic organs;
- compression of a group of nerves in the costal-vertebral angle, which are responsible for the innervation of the genital area;
- taking medications (antidepressants, tranquilizers, etc.)
As you know, anorgasmia is often combined with reduced or absent sex drive. It is believed that this disorder is much less common in women with high libido. A similar diagnosis is made only in those cases when a woman is sexually aroused, feels a desire, but does not reach orgasm.
Anorgasmia is diagnosed in cases where the lack of orgasm is accompanied by a weakening of sexual desire, which in this case is secondary and arises as a result of frustrations and the growth of hostility towards intimacy that does not bring satisfaction.
Rare orgasmic discharge or their absence lead a woman to dissatisfaction with her sex life and cooling or even disgust for her partner. They can also cause irritation, anxiety, fears, and at the level of physiology, stagnation in the small pelvis, which can lead to inflammatory diseases and disorders in the ovaries, uterus, and vagina.
Psychology or physiology, which comes first?
And yet, despite the different causes of orgasmic dysfunction, most experts are convinced that psychogenic factors prevail over organic ones. And many organic disorders are of a psychogenic nature. Therefore, we propose to consider a number of reasons that can lead to the suppression of orgasm, based on a deep understanding of the psychological characteristics of a woman - from the point of view of the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
System-vector psychology says that a person's desires and capabilities depend on a set of his innate mental properties or vectors, of which there are eight in total. The vectors are divided into the upper ones, which are responsible for intelligence (visual, sound, oral, olfactory), and the lower ones, which set the type of sexuality, the strength of libido (cutaneous, anal, urethral, muscular).
Problems with getting an orgasm can be caused by different reasons for the owners of different vectors. And it would be most correct to consider each case individually. But there are also general patterns. For example, it has been noticed that often anorgasmia occurs in women with a sound vector. Let's consider the possible reasons for the lack of orgasm in representatives of this vector.
As mentioned earlier, an important factor in achieving orgasm is the sexual desire that precedes it. So, a weak sexual desire is inherent in women and men with a sound vector that are not in a very good condition. Or, in other words, those owners of the sound vector who cannot realize themselves.
In a sound woman, sexual desire can be completely suppressed by the non-fulfillment of sound desires, since for her everything that is connected with the body is secondary, and the needs of the soul are primary. It is important for her to feel the meaning of life, although often she is not even aware of this, but simply experiences a heaviness on her soul and deep dissatisfaction with life. She can love a man for many years and not be sexually attracted to him. For a sound woman, the voice of a partner is important, which can cause her sexual fantasies.
Early anorgasmia may be associated with delayed psychosexual development. She has a later sexual maturation. Therefore, her sexuality requires an effort to unfold.
In a later period, the diagnosis may be associated with depression, characteristic of an unrealized sound vector, which also suppress attraction.
All she needs is to realize her nature, innate features and realize her sound desires, then there will be no dysfunctions that interfere with a full sex life. Rather, on the contrary, sexual relations for such a woman can become the basis of the most intense sensual pleasures.
Past and present as the cause of sexual dysfunctions
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan notes that the cause of anorgasmia can be some personal factors in a woman's life.
- Strongly assimilated, false, negative attitudes towards sex life and men in general. This includes the peculiarities of education. For example, a sharply negative attitude of parents to an obscene word uttered by a child forms a person's inability to enjoy sexual relations in adulthood. It’s not about allowing the use of language between parents and children, but about the fact that for a positive scenario of the child’s future life, the correct reaction of loved ones to the swear word he uttered for the first time is important. It is necessary to calmly and confidentially explain to the child that such words are not pronounced in society, in communication with parents, etc.
- A father beating the mother in front of a girl with a visual vector is a direct path to the occurrence of the problem of vaginismus or pain during sexual intercourse.
- Personal negative experience associated with sexuality, which is repressed into the unconscious, may not be realized, but block sensory experiences, suppress sexual impulses. And the loss of a sense of security and safety in childhood leads to the emergence of distrust in men and a sense of anxiety.
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A very important reason for dissatisfaction with sex life, whether it be anorgasmia or other sexual dysfunctions, is the lack of trust in a couple. And frank conversations about sexuality play an important role in getting satisfaction from your sex life. It is necessary to talk, discuss impressions with your partner, even if it seems strange or not of great importance to you.
Our consciousness is arranged in such a way that we think in stereotypes created by us through past experience. Therefore, all problems start in the head. Sometimes it can be very difficult to recall the trauma that was inflicted on a person during sexual contact. System-vector psychology copes with this task.
- The lack of orgasm can be influenced by the choice of a partner, not because of sexual attraction, but because of the desire to receive high material wealth, prestige, or at the insistence of relatives.
- The most important element is creating an emotional connection. Sooner or later, we all become convinced that sex is many times better and more pleasant with a person with whom we are in love, rather than with someone for whom we do not have romantic feelings. By creating an emotional connection with a man, a woman paves the way to her own orgasm.
- Partner conflicts, misunderstanding of one's nature and one's partner, rudeness, alcoholization of the husband, his unwillingness to spend time together, arrogant, inattentive attitude towards a woman, which can cause resentment, fear, irritation, subsequently lead to a feeling of hostility, which also does not improve the quality of sexual relations …
In all these cases, the inability to reach orgasm is secondary in nature. Sex drive persists for a long time, and erogenous zones remain sensitive. The psychological reason that leads to the lack of orgasm can manifest itself abruptly, such as betrayal of the husband, or be extended in time, like the growing alienation in a couple.
Anorgasmic dysfunction is a common sexual disorder. Nevertheless, according to some experts, it has been established that the longer a woman is married, the more often she experiences an orgasm. For example, after five years of marriage, about 72% of women experienced orgasm, and after ten years of marriage, with regular sexual activity - 89%. And only 18% had an orgasm when changing a sexual partner.
Theory and practice of getting an orgasm
Freud's contemporaries considered orgasm an unhealthy manifestation, because the woman did not seek pleasure. Things are different today. A woman in all qualities catches up with a man. Although a man has always walked half a head ahead of her, still today every woman seeks to receive pleasure and has a right to it.
Doctor-psychotherapist and psychiatrist V. A. Domoratsky defines the concept of orgasm as a "complex vegetative reflex" that can be learned.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan notes that the main rule of getting an orgasm is the ability to relax both in body and soul. And relaxation occurs through the creation of an intimate, trusting emotional connection with a partner.
Orgasm is beautiful, sensual both inside and outside. This experience cannot be compared to anything else. The main thing during intercourse is to abandon your physiology and dissolve in the feelings of your partner. This will be the first approach to orgasm.
Factors favoring the onset of orgasm include:
- normal hormone levels;
- good muscle tone of the perineum during coitus;
- extroverted personality;
- normal reactivity of the nervous system;
- a real sensual connection with a partner;
- duration of sexual intercourse over ten minutes;
- a good example of paired relationships from the parental family;
- foreplay, lasting at least fifteen minutes before the start of sexual intercourse.
From the experience of my personal psychological practice, I can say that women who are not able to experience an orgasm, as a rule, did not know how to create a warm trusting relationship with a man, were in a position dependent on a partner, could not relax during intercourse, and often used alcohol to relax. which is of little help in this case.
I also noticed such an important fact that the simulation of orgasm also prevents building intimate, trusting relationships with a partner. Lies, distrust, tantrums, as a manifestation of the desire to receive only for oneself, without giving anything in return, noticeably distance a woman from getting her own orgasm.
The main thing is a feeling of satisfaction
Orgasm does not always lead to sexual satisfaction. There are women who have never experienced it, but this does not bother them at all, and their sex life brings them satisfaction. As a rule, such women have a deep emotional connection with their partner, close intimate relationships, or many of their non-sexual needs are met by a man.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains this fact by the fact that a woman is not given an orgasm by nature, because it is not needed for conception and childbirth. Since ancient times, nature has provided that a woman gives birth and raises children, and a man hunts for a mammoth in the savannah in order to provide the desired woman and get his orgasm given by nature. Therefore, she was satisfied with the acceptance of ejaculate without experiencing bright amplitudes and received a child as a gift, which gave meaning to her life. Scientists have calculated that about 30% of women who do not get an orgasm are completely satisfied with their sex life. And vice versa, in cases where the emotional connection is broken, then even when receiving an orgasm at the time of coitus, satisfaction may not come, since all the woman's attention in this case is directed to a conflict relationship with a partner.
If a woman is satisfied with a sensual connection with a man and without getting an orgasm, then this is also her full right, and there is no need to adjust herself to general standards and be equal to others.
If the problem with getting an orgasm really exists, then the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan offers an effective method for solving the problem. After completing the course of classes, psychological problems go away that prevented them from experiencing sexual pleasure and getting an orgasm. The woman's ability to open up to her man increases, understanding her own and his sexual and psychological characteristics allows her to experience hitherto unknown intimacy. Women who have completed the training write about this:
Some of these results are:
I was afraid that everything would go again on the knurled one. What to do, I had to trust, and then even direct my husband in the direction I needed, and then even think about what he would like) I tried to act like this a hundred times - nothing worked! And then it worked. I experienced an orgasm, the same fabulous, long and deep.
But, to my surprise, I realized that I got more. It's just that at some point I saw his look, which was not there before. This look said - I understand you. Everything inside me turned upside down. I have never received this look from anyone, much less a man. all my grievances and fears were forgotten. I happily trusted and dissolved.
Darlene
Kaliningrad Read full result text
Although Yuri is absolutely right when he says that all our training is aimed at revealing sexuality, not only these additional lectures. But it was after them that I developed an understanding and acceptance of myself, the realization that all my sexual desires are normal, and sexual fantasies, albeit controlled, are normal. But before, having a naturally increased sexual desire, I was even ashamed of it. Now I enjoy …
And it's not just about sex as a physiological act … I learned to feel my man next to me. Sex, intimacy is walking by the hand, watching your favorite movie in the evening in an embrace, and silence, and touching, and everything, everything, everything. In general, one breath for two.
Maya
Tallinn Read full result text
I was terribly impatient and curious, how will this happen, how does it feel? After all, training leads to a change in internal states and attracts completely new people to you. What will my man be like? How does it feel to be in a relationship, if not absolutely, then as happy as possible? In anticipation and anticipation, a lot of time passed, during which I peered at almost every man and tried to make acquaintances.
HE appeared unexpectedly. And everything that I experience with him today, all these feelings simply swept me away, covered me with such a wave of pleasure, the power of which I could not imagine.
Lovely women, girls, orgasm - it's so magical, enchanting and just stunning! This is what makes you want sex all the time! It is simply a crime that so many women have never experienced it, never felt it. It is a crime that so many women, because of his absence, experience (I know from myself) a sense of inferiority.
Olga
Bessarabka, Moldova Read full result text
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