Mother killed the child
Terrifying statistics: the number of children who die violent death in Russia every year goes to the thousands. According to the Investigative Committee, in every sixth case, the murderers are close relatives of the child, including the mother. Mothers throw children from the balconies of houses, drown them in the bathroom, strangle them with their hands or objects. There are many cases when mothers sacrificed themselves for their children. They talk about it quietly and with respect. When the opposite happens - the murder of a defenseless child - it does not fit in my head and it seems that the world has just gone crazy …
Mother killer … How much horror and tragedy in this phrase, how much powerlessness. After all, this is contrary to nature, contrary to the most intimate and important thing in human life - to continue your race in descendants, protecting and preserving them. When we hear that somewhere a mother killed a child, our entire unconscious is horrified and indignant at this news going across the base given to us by nature. After all, a mother is the most important person in the life of every child.
What could be stronger than unconditional motherly love? Deep, selfless, sacrificial, sacred … So many books have been written about her, so many songs sung.
All my brightest dreams, Rainbows, stars, legends and temples
Were reflected as in a mirror
In the clear eyes of my mother.
You brought me by the hand into the world, Affectionately nudged a little with your palm
And on my way the sun lit up,
That is called love.
Jasmine, "Mom's Heart"
The maternal instinct is to keep the child at all costs. This is very well observed even in the animal world, which is regulated exclusively by instincts. Not so long ago, there was a video on the Internet where a bird built its nest right in the field and hatched chicks. When a combine drove up to her, she spread her wings over the chicks, not leaving the children even on pain of death, and remained sitting like that. In the meantime, the driver carefully drove around her, without catching …
There are many cases when mothers sacrificed themselves for their children. They talk about it quietly and with respect. When the opposite happens - the murder of a defenseless child - it does not fit into my head and it seems that the world has just gone crazy …
I didn't know that children can die
In Kiev, a 20-year-old mother left her two young children alone in an apartment for nine days. When she returned, the one-year-old son was already dead, and the two-year-old daughter was unconscious.
Earlier, the woman said: "I did not know that children can die." At the same time, the unfortunate mother said that, before leaving the apartment, she locked the children in the room and locked the door so that the children could not leave. So, little Daniel died of hunger on December 3. Anya was locked up with her dead brother until December 6th.
The details of the grave crime that occurred in the Iglinsky region were told by the press service of the republic's investigative committee.
In November 2018, the woman was nine months pregnant. She did not plan to leave the child, did not seek medical help and decided to give birth at home herself. Immediately after the baby was born, the woman blocked his airways, after which the baby died. The woman hid the body of the baby in the house. Forensic scientists later determined that the baby was live birth and viable.
Terrifying statistics: the number of children who die violent deaths in Russia every year goes to the thousands. According to the Investigative Committee, in every sixth case, the murderers are close relatives of the child, including the mother. Mothers throw children from the balconies of houses, drown them in the bathroom, strangle them with their hands or objects. From time to time, another shocking incident is covered in the media, causing waves of indignation and indignation. Child killers are hated, condemned, cursed, persecuted and lynched. Often, neither lawyers nor psychiatrists want to work with them.
In the winter of 2019, in Derbent, a 21-year-old Dagestani woman who killed her six-month-old daughter with 31 stabs, could not find a defender for a long time. “Even the appointees refused it. Everyone here cursed her,”explain the lawyers familiar with the case.
In prison, the administration usually tries to hide the story of such a woman so that the others in the cell do not lynch her. The murder of a child, especially one's own, is not forgiven and is severely condemned by society.
But the fact of the existence of killer mothers is not only the grief of individual families, it is the problem of the whole society. Man is a social organism that is influenced by everything that happens around him, and in any particular tragedy there are roots that need to be found. Throwing a wave of hatred on a woman who has committed a crime is not an option, so the problem will not go away. Nobody says that she should be left unpunished. But you can try to understand, to understand psychologically what was going on in her head, what reasons, factors, conditions prompted the murder of the child. This must be done by each of us and society as a whole in order to prevent similar tragedies in the future, to help those on the brink. Indeed, in many cases one could help, talk, show another way out …
A lot depends on you and me, those who are near. Psychological literacy is a powerful tool that can help you better understand yourself and the people around you. Understand the lacks that sometimes lead to tragedies. Let's try to figure out the different reasons why women become murderers of their own children, using the knowledge that Yuri Burlan's training "System-vector psychology" gives.
Take me for a little while
For most women, maternal instinct is an innate, "self-evident" feeling inscribed in the psyche. When a small heart begins to beat inside, a woman experiences indescribable delight, because a child is her continuation, the meaning of her life. Instagram is replete with photos of happy mothers with babies and captions like: "You are my world, my universe."
But not all women have an innate maternal instinct. Women with a skin-visual ligament of vectors are by nature hunters and temptresses, who once accompanied men on hunting and war. The purpose of the skin-visual woman is to be a muse, an inspiration, creating emotional connections and bringing love to the world. Skin-visual women were not created for the birth of children, so they are devoid of the maternal instinct. A modern woman with such a set of vectors always puts her career first, not family, love, children. She is creative, ambitious and emotional. Can be a singer, actress, model, dancer, secretary, psychologist, nurse. Having a baby is usually not part of her plans, but if she gives birth, then there is a high probability that postpartum depression may occur.
“For a very long time I could not in any way“give birth”in myself a feeling of motherly love for my eldest child. Up to three months, I just performed service functions and just annoyed myself with a feeling of some kind of inferiority: all mothers, like mothers, cry with happiness right in the delivery room, and more often I had a desire: “take it at least for a while”.
Skin-visual mother seeks to pursue a career, self-development. She is drawn to the stage - to sing, and then there is a child, and her whole life must suddenly change and never become the same … She often wants to run away. But, despite the tendency to longing, tantrums and fears, such a mother will not kill. A skin-visual mother may have fears of accidentally or deliberately killing her child, but this usually translates into strict self-control and does not lead to tragedies. Accidental deaths do happen through oversight, but these are rare cases.
It's another matter if, for example, a woman has an anal vector. In potential, this is the best mother, but, being in a poor mental state, it can be subject to outbursts of anger and aggression, leading to beatings of the child. By beating, a mother with an anal vector can lose control over herself and even kill. For example, not so long ago in Russia, a mother killed her daughter during a beating. Moreover, she went into voluptuousness from striking and did not immediately notice that the girl had already died. She continued to beat her for a couple of minutes after the death of the child …
Such cases are possible if the anal vector is in poor condition. There are various reasons for this, but most often the root must be sought in childhood. These can be childhood traumas, improper upbringing, underdevelopment of properties, frustration (accumulation of tension from the inability to realize one's desire), severe resentment. In a good, developed and realized state, a woman with an anal vector is an ideal mother, for whom children and family are the meaning of life and the highest priority. In frustrations, a woman from a loving and caring mother turns into an aggressive fury that beats her child. The vector is one, but the states are different.
From depression to murder
5% of people on the planet have a sound vector. They say about them - "not of this world." The soundman is an absolute introvert with a strange wandering gaze turned to Eternity. Since childhood, he has been asking questions that confuse adults: “Who are we? Why do we live? What is the sense of life?" The owners of the sound vector are selective in their contacts, love the night and silence. With a good development and implementation of the properties set by nature, sound scientists become brilliant scientists, composers, musicians, poets and writers.
Depression as it is only occurs in people with a sound vector. Every day somewhere they say goodbye to the life of a suicide - those who could not cope with this unbearable burden … And if we again hear about another egregious case when, being depressed, a mother killed a child, then most often this mother is a sound person.
In sound depression, one does not want anything, nothing pleases and does not cause a desire to live. A person feels tired all the time, sometimes there is no strength even to get out of bed. He is closed in his inner world in a high degree of self-concentration. People around are annoying, loud sounds are painfully perceived, and sometimes even the slightest noise. The whole life seems empty and meaningless, and the inner pain from this causes insane suffering. In especially difficult cases, the whole world around him seems fake, illusory, and a person seems to be in a cocoon, in the impossibility of reaching out from there, to break free.
Depression is aggravated by having a baby. The maternal instinct does not turn on, and then a little creature appears that cries, annoys with screams, which needs constant care. The child does not evoke any warm feelings, any joy. You see his smile - you don't feel anything and you don't see any point in motherhood. The situation is aggravated by the fact that everyone around them expects happiness from the mother, euphoria from motherhood and the unquestioning inclusion of the maternal instinct.
From endless children's crying, a sound mother in bad conditions can scream and shake her child in a frenzy, wanting only one thing - that he be silent. In severe cases, murder occurs, and this is the last stage when the cup of patience overflows, causing a deafening explosion. Often women themselves do not understand what they have done, for a long time they cannot come to their senses. They wanted to get rid of their suffering, and the child seemed to be their cause, source.
When Petr Krotenko returned from work, the apartment in the south-west of Moscow was dark and quiet. Flicked the bathroom switch. I saw my seven month old son. He was lying underwater in the bath. “Somehow it was immediately clear that he was dead,” Krotenko recalls.
His wife Alena was not at home. The next day, passers-by found her on the shore of a lake near Moscow. During interrogation, Alena said that she had killed her son and went to kill herself. I drank a bottle of vodka on the shore, went to the water and lost consciousness.
Two days before the death of her son, she asked her husband to send her to the hospital. “I kind of didn’t attach any importance to this - she was taking pills, I thought everything would be fine,” recalls Peter. During the interrogation, the woman said: “I was afraid not to cope with the child. It was better to stop it so that no one would suffer."
Insomnia, depressed mood, anxiety are the first bells, the first signals that a woman needs help, first of all, the support of loved ones. After all, it is very difficult to overcome postpartum depression alone, when a woman seems to look like a happy mother from the outside, but in fact there is a huge emptiness and pain inside her … By understanding exactly what is happening and why, tragedy can be prevented.
My child has no place in this world
Depression often comes on suddenly, snowballing the woman and sweeping away everything in its path. The condition is aggravated by problems in the family, with her husband, with parents, when there is no support and confidence in the future. Sometimes women who have committed murder of children explain their action by the fact that they did not have the financial ability to support them.
Both women with schizophrenia and women in deep depression often talk about the reasons for killing a child like this: "I do him better", "I am too bad a mother for him", "This world is so monstrous that the child would be better off not living in it."
Psychiatrists and criminologists have a term - "mercy killing". This phenomenon includes "extended suicide" - when a mother decides to take her own life and takes her children with her.
In clinical cases, when women suffer from schizophrenia and other serious mental illnesses, the murder of a child often occurs because "voices in the head ordered to kill." Often, such a murder is carefully planned, and investigators are shocked by the brutality and composure with which the murderer mother reveals the details of the crime. In fact, in her sick imagination, the child is illusory, something like a rag doll, and the patient is sure that she did everything right.
In other cases, without irreversible mental disorders, mothers cry loudly and regret what they did. The killing can be impulsive, for example, as an attempt to get rid of the incessant crying of children, which unbearably hurts a woman with a sound vector, who is depressed.
Often people around talk about child killers, that they were loving mothers and took care of their children, never raised their voice at them, bought them clothes and toys. Indeed, a depressed woman for a long time may outwardly look like an ordinary, normal mother. She tries to fulfill her duties and take care of the child, strives to be a good mother. But no one knows what volcano burns her from the inside, what thoughts wander in her head from despair and the inability to overcome inner pain. And this volcano may one day explode, ripping off the cap of self-control …
It is the responsibility of the whole society
We are all interconnected by an invisible thread, and everything that happens in the world, one way or another, concerns everyone. Murderers, pedophiles, suicides, sexual maniacs and murderous mothers are not only the problem of those directly affected by the tragedy, it is the problem and responsibility of the whole society.
We can turn away, hate and condemn, or we can try to look at the world through the eyes of another person, imagine his pain, realize and understand … This is not necessary for someone, it is necessary for everyone in general to understand how to deal with the problem and eradicate it, prevent the recurrence of tragedies in the future. So that we and our children live in a better, happier and safer world.
You can register for the free training "System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan" here.