From fear of losing a loved one - to love without fear
"Do you love me?" - sometimes I want to ask out loud, but it's so scary to hear a cold "no" …
Love is such a wonderful, exciting and warm feeling. So you want to enjoy it all the time, but for some reason it sometimes becomes so scary that your loved one will leave and this comfortable warmth will disappear with him. Will this fear always be a dark veil to cover the bright feeling of love and happiness?
Do you love me?
"Do you love me?" - sometimes I want to ask out loud, but it's so scary to hear a cold "no". It's not even entirely clear where this question comes from, because everything is so beautiful: flowers and walks, a happy evening and a cozy morning together. There are already two toothbrushes in one glass.
When he's around, it's so good and calm. Inspired with love, thoughts paint a picture of a happy life, a beautiful wedding dress, envious glances of girlfriends, beautiful children and a quiet joint old age. How wonderful it is!
But … Here he comes from work so silent and detached, the whole evening immersed in his thoughts … And at the same moment fear creeps into your heart: “What happened? Maybe he changed his mind and doesn't love me anymore? " From this thought inside everything grows cold: “How so? I can't live without him! I want him to always be there, always love and protect me!"
And now pictures flash in my head as he closes the door behind him with an indifferent expression on his face, and you are left alone in the oppressive darkness of the room. Tears cover my eyes, my heart aches with pain, it's so cold and lonely without him …
Stop! Here he is, next to him, quietly sniffling, turning to the wall! Fuh … You press closer to him - and the terrifying pictures slowly dissipate, yielding to the warmth of dreams.
A sunny morning comes, and it becomes completely incomprehensible why yesterday terrible thoughts overwhelmed. Now they seem so stupid and unfounded, because here he is, beloved, next to him, has not gone anywhere, but why was it so cold and uncomfortable yesterday? Where does the fear of losing a loved one come from? Can you get rid of it?
Salvation from fear is love
According to Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology, fear and love have a very close connection. But not everyone can experience the entire palette of these emotions, but only people with a visual vector.
The visual vector is a certain set of properties of the human psyche with which he is born. Such people are very emotional by nature. Only they can be very sensitive, impressionable and amorous. A visual person is inclined to embellish and exaggerate, take everything to heart, even succumb to panic and hysteria. It is people with a visual vector that can experience many fears and phobias. Such a person has large eyes from fear, and the soul sinks into his heels. But why is this happening?
System-vector psychology says that the causes of all experiences are hidden in our unconscious. In a person with a visual vector, the fear of death is at the origin of all experiences. It is he who is the culprit of all our fears - and darkness, and spiders, and planes, and even loneliness. Fear is a feeling "in oneself", fear for one's life, and as a consequence - the need to receive emotions from another person. When this person is near, we are not afraid of anything, we are calm and safe next to him, but if we lose him (or simply admit the thought of loss), a chilling fear envelops from head to toe.
The highest point of the emotions of the visual person is the feeling of love. Love is no longer "in oneself", it is emotions directed outward - towards sympathy and empathy for others. A person in a state of love does not demand it from someone else - he gives it himself.
But someone gets stuck in various phobias and cannot enjoy the wonderful feeling of love, while someone, on the contrary, can love the whole world and hardly know the oppressive darkness of fears. So how do you learn to love and not be afraid?
Usually this is brought up from childhood with the help of literature, cartoons and films for empathy. A child with a visual vector can sympathize with a flower, a dog, and a person.
If this skill has been developed since childhood, then all is not lost - and in adulthood you can learn to direct your emotions in a positive direction. There are always those around us who really need emotional support. People with a visual vector find themselves in volunteering, helping and compassionate to those who need help. When all the emotional reserve gets a positive direction, there is simply no energy left to feel sorry for oneself.
Any fear of the spectator (and the fear of losing a loved one, of course, too) has one root and one solution. You can continue to live in the tightness of your own experiences, or you can find an excellent use of your enormous emotional potential and start enjoying life.
Know yourself - learn to love
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan offers a method of work that allows you to realize all the reasons for your fears. Classes are held in the format of online training. This training will help you understand yourself, understand your desires and capabilities deeper, learn to understand various states. Thanks to this, fears and anxieties will be left behind, clearing the way for new wonderful feelings. Join those who have already managed to cope with their fears! You can register for free lectures here: