How to deal with parting with your husband if family is your meaning in life
When this happened to others, you sympathized, reassured, gave good advice to forget everything - after all, life did not end, but just a new one began, without a traitor … But the same advice for some reason does not help when suddenly she herself was in the epicenter of an explosion that swept your whole life together to the smallest pieces. You feel that resuscitation is impossible, as the fragments pierced the soul, body, thoughts, inflicting injuries incompatible with life.
Gone are the days when a stamp on a passport kept people together until the last breath of one of them. Today, neither youth nor life experience can save you from breaking up a relationship. It is easier if both for him and for her love has exhausted itself. People quietly disperse, sometimes even maintaining friendly relations. And how can a woman who cannot imagine her life without him to survive parting with her husband?
Is there life after separation?
Life stops at the moment when a person, without whom you cannot breathe, enjoy, laugh, just live, leaves you.
When this happened to others, you sympathized, reassured, gave good advice to forget everything - after all, life did not end, but just a new one began, without a traitor … But the same advice for some reason does not help when suddenly she herself was in the epicenter of an explosion that swept your whole life together to the smallest pieces. You feel that resuscitation is impossible, as the fragments pierced the soul, body, thoughts, inflicting injuries incompatible with life.
You are deaf, blind, numb …
After a painful shock, you realize that you continue to breathe. You wish you died right away, because you cannot live with this constant pain. It is impossible to move, think, eat, sleep … With the slightest movement (even thought), the fragments of the general experience pierce deeper, making you cry or howl.
All desires have died, except one: let him return, I cannot live without him!
You and I are of the same blood, but different vectors
Some people manage, at the first case of betrayal, to collect their or his suitcases and put a fat point in the relationship, without drowning in showdowns, expectations and regrets. For others, parting with a loved one takes on a chronic form of endless suffering. But in this there is no particular merit of the former or the fault of the latter.
It depends on the individual set of vectors with which we are born. The vectors determine life values, priorities and ways of fulfilling the desires of each of us.
As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows, it is especially difficult for women who are endowed with anal and visual vectors to part with a loved one. These are vectors, without which, most likely, people would not know what love and fidelity are.
The difference in the structure of our psyche does not allow us to draw up a single set of rules on how to survive parting with a loved one, suitable for everyone. Therefore, before answering the question of how to get over the separation, let's figure out why it is especially these women who find it especially difficult in such a situation.
Be careful, the doors are closing
Some of us have the ability to tightly close the door to the past, while others fail. Leaving the past behind your back and living without looking back is not about those whose psyche is controlled by the anal vector. The task set before them by nature: to archive the experience of all past generations and pass it on to their descendants is provided with a unique memory. Therefore, they remember everything that happened. Both good and bad.
The family is the pivot around which the wheel of a woman's life with the anal vector spins. She was born to preserve family values, where the husband is the head of the family, and the wife is a reliable rear.
Women with an anal vector get married once and for all, do not accept lies and untidiness in relationships. Hearing from a husband about betrayal or leaving the family is tantamount to losing the meaning of life. An analytical mindset, an innate attention to detail and phenomenal memory help to put the puzzle from the disparate details of the husband's behavior, actions, phrases.
Of course, there were bells, and the wife could not help but notice them, but she believed her husband, was sure that it was impossible to deceive the closest person - his wife THAT. Resentment for the destroyed trust, disappointment in her husband, whom she raised in the eyes of everyone, shame that she was in the ranks of the abandoned, unloved - an unbearably painful cocktail of feelings.
And memory throws everything up and throws memories into the fire of resentment. Here is her underestimated sacrifice in the name of the family, and the words of love and gratitude that were not received, and the unspoken words of repentance, requests for forgiveness for past offenses. Sometimes resentment becomes such a heavy burden for some women that the desire to take revenge becomes the only meaning of life. "Let him be as bad as me!"
My dear, what have I done to you?
A woman with a visual vector does not exist outside the category of love. She is very dependent on this feeling. The loss of love for her is death. She is all woven of emotions. Only she was joyful, she laughed - and suddenly she cries, seeing something, reading something, hearing …
Happy, realized in life, she is like a generator of joy and love for everyone around. Ready to help and share her warmth, participation, she creates beauty and a festive atmosphere around. She is endowed by nature with a great gift - to establish emotional connections between people.
Not feeling the signals of love she needs from her husband, not hearing compliments, not receiving gifts as proof of adoration, a woman may feel fear of losing the love of her once "best boyfriend." The severance of family relations is the severing of an emotional connection with a loved one, which is tantamount to death. She loses the feeling of safety and security that her husband gave her, and this leads to a surge of all fears inherent in the psyche of a visual woman from birth. Fear of loneliness, fear of never experiencing love again, fear of not coping with difficulties.
Not imagining her life without her husband, she falls into hysterics, resorts to emotional blackmail, tries to evoke pity. Turning to fortune-tellers, healers, psychics is a common practice on the way to saving your relationship with a partner. Someone turns to a psychologist for advice, but pain, fear, tears are in no hurry to let go of a woman's soul.
I was dumped - how to get over it?
A woman, possessing the properties of both anal and visual vectors, sways for a long time and painfully on an emotional swing. On the one hand, she understands that she cannot be with a man whose trust has been destroyed. On the other hand, he cannot imagine his life without him, especially when love has degenerated into an emotional dependence on him.
In addition, it is impossible to find an answer to a very difficult question - how to distract yourself from thoughts about your loved one? After all, visual fantasies, capable of making an elephant out of a fly, paint in all colors pictures of the ex-partner's happy pastime, rearing up unhealed mental wounds. The memory does not allow to forget how the woman tried, often sacrificing her interests, so that he felt good, so that he was happy, but only lost her husband.
Fear not to meet another love and difficulties with the perception of changes in life, fear of the future prevent you from making the only correct decision: stop waiting for your husband to change his mind, suddenly realize all his “mistakes” and return. It is difficult to start a new stage in life, but it must be done.
Go out to meet life
The problem is that without knowledge of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology, we strive to ascribe to our partners our qualities, outlook on life, we expect from them steps that we would take ourselves in this situation. But after all, they, their desires are often controlled by completely different vectors, endowing the psyche with other properties, and themselves with other abilities and aspirations. Our men look at life, at family, at us - with their own eyes, not ours.
Systemic knowledge makes it possible to understand yourself deeper, to figure out what prevents you from moving on through life, forcing you to experience the same pain from day to day, poking around in memories. Find out what makes us regret what we have lost, and try to find our fault in it. And get rid of these deep experiences. By understanding what happened between you, you will understand what went wrong in your relationship with your husband, you will understand himself why he did this. Stop expecting from him that which is not inherent in him by nature. And a big stone will fall from the soul, strength and knowledge of how to live on will appear.
Understanding provides an opportunity to let go of grievances, forgive, get out of fears and take the future into our own hands. The knowledge provided by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan makes it possible to return optimism, pleasure in life, and a feeling of happiness. This is convincingly evidenced by the numerous responses of women:
The meaning of life is to be happy. Hurry up to regain your happiness, register for the free online training "System Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
