And I love the handsome: who, whom and for what he loves with his eyes
In couples, such combinations are not so rare when one partner is outwardly much more attractive than the second. Who chooses a handsome man as a pair? Why? Is he so sensitive to beauty that he wants to have this beautiful next to him all the time? And most importantly: is he happy with such a partner?
Some couples immediately draw attention to themselves. Slim, tall, incredibly elegant, model-like handsome man: ironed trousers, satin vest, shining white shirt, original accessories, for example, an unusual tie with a hairpin, cane, hat, maybe a ring on a finger or an earring in the ear, well-groomed hair … And next to her is a small wife, clearly inclined to be overweight, very modestly dressed and completely invisible against the background of an imposing husband. It's not clear, is this his mother, sister, wife? Sometimes such couples look strange and even ridiculous from the outside.
In couples, such combinations are not so rare when one partner is outwardly much more attractive than the second. Who chooses a handsome man as a pair? Why? Is he so sensitive to beauty that he wants to have this beautiful next to him all the time? And most importantly: is he happy with such a partner?
When instincts are in control
In animals in pairs, females and males also often differ in "beauty": a peacock with iridescent plumage and a gray pava, a rooster with a bright scarlet tail and a speckled hen …
Why is that? It is the bright males that are attractive to females, since the brightness of the plumage of birds or, for example, the tails of fish, indicates their health and the potential to produce healthy offspring.
For females, the main thing is to preserve future offspring during the incubation period, which is why the color of their feathers is usually the most inconspicuous.
Do people have everything like smaller brothers?
I. Efremov in the famous book "The Razor's Edge" says that a person has a very subtle anatomical instinct: he unconsciously considers a straight posture, clear eyes, straight teeth, bright lips attractive. Why? It is more convenient to gnaw solid food with straight teeth, the owner of widely spaced eyes has more stereoscopic vision, and so on.
That is, nature has set the task of combining the most suitable individuals for survival, this is the biological significance of the sense of beauty, which was of paramount importance for ancient people.
Attractiveness is a loose concept
So, before, people were guided by quite understandable principles when choosing a partner. But times have changed. Human beauty is still pleasing to any eye, but not all women choose tall, broad-shouldered handsome men with an impeccable smile as their pair. Or are there not enough beautiful ones for all?
The reason is different. For some people, the question of external attractiveness is generally secondary. For some, the main thing is to be "on the same wavelength" with a partner, and for some, a stable financial position, a high social status of a spouse, and how handsome he is at the same time, and whether his eyes are expressive is the tenth thing.
Who are they, lovers of beauty?
And yet there are people who are especially sensitive to beauty. They freeze with delight at the sight of a flaming sunset, a lush flower, a touching fluffy animal, an elegant little thing.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that love for everything beautiful is a quality inherent in the owners of the visual vector. A vector is a set of innate mental properties, desires, and abilities of a person that determine his way of thinking, life values and behavior. There are eight vectors in total: skin, anal, visual and others.
In visual people, the eyes are the most sensitive sensor. They love and appreciate beauty in any of its manifestations, and therefore prefer to surround themselves with beautiful things. Only for spectators, the concept of "beautiful" can become a decisive criterion when buying clothes, for example. To buy terribly uncomfortable, but very beautiful shoes, in which your feet get tired exactly one minute after putting on your shoes, is visual: “Beauty requires sacrifice. But what kind of legs I have in them!"
My light, mirror, tell me
Contemplation of human beauty also gives the viewers aesthetic pleasure. For some, their hearts simply stop at the sight of a proud posture, a white-toothed smile, and burning eyes.
If a visual person naturally inherits an expressive face and a good figure, his own reflection in the mirror will give him incredible pleasure: for hours he can try on outfits, various accessories, do his hair, putting a hair to a hair. If the resulting image is very good, it is simply impossible to tear yourself away from the mirror! This behavior is typical of the owners of the cutaneous-visual ligament vectors.
Who loves whom with their eyes
Anal-visual girls often fall in love with written beauties: romantic, dreamy, but at the same time modest and shy. In their youth, they read love novels (in adulthood, too, if their need for feelings is not satisfied), dream of a handsome prince who, upon seeing, will fall in love and understand how much better they are than these capricious spoiled girls-flirts. And they will live happily ever after …
An important role is played by what others will think: when next to you - sweet, glorious, but not so spoiled by male attention (like, for example, a bright beauty, after which every man looks back), the idol of all the girls goes, involuntarily appears in the soul feeling of satisfaction: “Have you seen ?! And he chose me, not you!"
He is the most beautiful, sophisticated and sensitive. In addition, he sings well, plays the guitar well and dances incredibly. How not to fall in love with this? It would seem that the ideal variant of a man, a joint life with whom cannot be overshadowed by a single cloud and promises only pleasant things …
Living together with the ideal
So, the prince is found. If feelings are mutual, a joint life begins with the most beautiful, best of men. But is she happy, this life? As it turns out, not always. A priori, endowing her chosen one with qualities that are important in her understanding - loyalty, decency, sincerity, quickly enough (maximum, within three years), the anal-visual woman begins to understand that the skin-visual beauty living with her categorically does not fit into the ideal one she invented herself the image of a handsome face and courageous prince in behavior.
The value series of such a couple are very different, the expected lifelong idyll is not observed.
System-vector psychology psychology of Yuri Burlan makes it possible to understand that for an anal-visual woman, the main feeling in a relationship with a man is to be MARRIED. The status of a married woman is extremely important to her. A man for her is a support, protection, head of the family. This has been the practice for many, many centuries. Today, the value of marriage is significantly leveled, and the dermal-visual man generally prefers not to tie himself by marriage, at least for a long time. In addition, as a rule, he cannot be the breadwinner and support in the family.
As a result, disappointment occurs in the husband and in family life in general, aggravated by the rigidity of the psyche of the anal vector and the attachment of the visual: it is difficult to break off relations, especially if there are children, but it is already unbearable to live together. And neither the stately and beauty of the spouse, nor the radiance of the eyes, nor the romantic songs with a guitar pleases anymore, but on the contrary, sometimes you may even want to crack along the chased profile so as not to annoy you anymore.
The fate of handsome men in our country and in the West
It so happened historically that the overwhelming majority of skin-visual men in Russia rarely have the opportunity of full development and realization (of course, there are gratifying exceptions, which, alas, are very rare). There is too great a dislike for them in a country with our mentality: well, what kind of man is he - he cannot give a shot in the face, his eyes are almost wet.
And not only men do not favor them. A rare woman will take for granted that her halves on the shelf have much more gels for different types of styling, deodorants and perfume bottles for different moods than she herself.
For a Russian man, earning less than his wife, or even sitting on her neck, is embarrassing, but for a skin-visual one, it does not matter. He may not work at all, but be dependent on a wealthy lady. And he does not feel any inconvenience, let alone shame. The only woman who can afford such an expensive “gift” is urethral, but not anal-visual. From time to time she will be annoyed, and even enraged by his "unmanly". At best, he becomes for her “another child” in the family.
In the West, the situation is different: the attitude towards skin-visual men there is completely different, they have the opportunity to make a career (stylist, salesman, etc.), to create quite harmonious relationships, it is possible that even with an anal-visual woman who is realized in society not only as a wife and mother, but as an artist, teacher, art critic. And at the same time it is completely independent financially. In Russia, this situation is rather an exception.
Is it possible, happiness?
A necessary condition for a happy life is an understanding of yourself, your desires, your characteristics. A necessary condition for a happy life together is understanding and acceptance of the one who lives next to you.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows you to understand yourself and your chosen one. When mastering systemic thinking, there is a kind of "turnaround" from unhappy love, joyless life and disappointments.
It is impossible to demand from a person to become what he cannot become. But understanding who you are and who he is in terms of his mental properties, what can be expected in a relationship with this person, and what not, allows you not to build illusions, but to really assess what life with him will be like. You can initially choose the person with whom it will be possible to build a long and happy life together.
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