"Bury me behind the plinth" by Pavel Sanaev
Already a grandmother, she plays a daily performance at home, in which her family members and acquaintances become involuntary participants. If we add to this anal verbal sadism, slightly embellished with jokes and some theatricality, and total skin control, then we get a complete picture of the atmosphere at home
The story was written by Pavel Sanaev with humor, but in fact, a life drama is being played out in front of us. Feedback from readers after the release of Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board speaks of the book's amazing vitality. Pavel Sanaev talks about lost dreams, unfulfilled hopes … How often, having great potential, we do not know how to use them. The reason lies in our underdevelopment, which leads to a complete inability to make our life happy. The saddest thing is when a child becomes a means and a way of solving internal psychological problems and contradictions of adults. This is exactly what happens in the story of Pavel Sanaev. The story in the story Bury me behind the plinth Pavel Sanaev leads on behalf of the boy Sasha Savelyev, but the whole space of the story is occupied by the figure of the grandmother.
Let's talk about the family of grandparents, in which Sasha has been living since the age of four. This marriage (now of middle-aged people) was not the result of a sudden outbreak of passion or romantic love. Grandfather, at that time an actor of the Moscow Art Theater, came with the theater to Kiev on tour and got married "out of spite", on a dispute. The reason for such a strange act was the resentment against the woman with whom he had a relationship: "here she will regret it, come running …". This anal resentment played its fatal role. A quick marriage, as we'll see later in Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board, was never happy.
The grandmother, in turn, was carried away by an actor who was pretty on the "face", also not experiencing deep feelings. Anal-skin-visual with support on the skin and an underdeveloped visual vector, capable of filling only through a direct change in visual impressions. Therefore, our young grandmother wanted to go to a big city, where she was attracted by exhibitions, theaters, the opportunity to show off in a new society. The skin's desire for novelty and great opportunity also played a role.
However, her hopes were dashed. In Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board, Sanaev shows the tragedy of Nina Antonovna:
Under these conditions, Nina Antonovna, a woman of considerable temperament, did not manage to realize her skin-visual scenario. There were no secular evenings where she would shine in the spotlight, there were no performances where she would play and throw out her emotions, there was no recognition, no applause from the audience, no attention to her person.
Without realizing herself, already a grandmother, she puts on a daily performance at home, in which her family and acquaintances become involuntary participants. If we add to this anal verbal sadism, slightly embellished with jokes and a certain theatricality, and total skin control, then we get a complete picture of the atmosphere at home.
Pavel Sanaev very accurately shows such manifestations of the anal vector. In Bury Me Behind the Plinth, it is shown that accusations and curses against Sasha and grandfather are not uncommon in this family.
"Smelly, stinking, damnable, hateful bastard!" - the most common characteristic of a grandson when the grandmother is angry.
“Damned Gitsel, hated Tatar! Damn you by the sky, God, earth, birds, fish, people, seas, air! " - this is a wish to grandfather.
Having a huge unrealized visual temperament, the grandmother constantly emotionally rocks herself, involving Sasha and grandfather in these scenes. Even a broken kettle can be a reason:
The events in the story Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board develop dramatically. Sanaev reveals the character of the heroine through a series of events. The loss of Alyosha's first child during the war also left an imprint on the character of Nina Antonovna.
This stress only aggravated Nina Antonovna's various visual fears and phobias.
Once within four walls, Nina Antonovna feels bad. As a skin-visual female, her home is cramped.
Unable to apply herself outside the home, she rushes about. In Bury Me Behind the Plinth, it is very clearly shown how her unrealized emotional amplitude breaks through with tantrums and endless fears. As a result, Nina Antonovna ends up in a psychiatric hospital:
Grandfather and grandmother lived like that, in fact, strangers to each other - out of habit, because it happened so. And if my grandfather had a little more temperament, then, perhaps, the marriage broke up long ago. But he resigned himself, went with the flow. His reliance on anality, and, as a consequence, attachment to everything old, reluctance to change here also played a role. In Bury Me Behind the skirting board, you can very systematically observe slippers, and fishing, and the garage.
But sometimes grandfather's patience came to an end, and quarrels arose. After another quarrel, grandfather tells his friend:
Born at the end of the war, daughter Olya, Sasha's mother, never became a favorite for Nina Antonovna. In Bury Me Behind the skirting board, a completely different attitude towards the first and second child, the preference of the son to the daughter, is systematically traced. The author showed well how a mother behaves in relation to her growing daughter: like a real skin-visual female, she experiences a feeling of rivalry and jealousy. The anal sensation of "not given", flavored with an off-scale emotional amplitude, only adds fuel to the fire. She blames her daughter for taking her life and not living up to her hopes. Without choosing words, she splashes out all her pain on her.
As a result of this attitude on the part of her mother, Olga acquired many negative anchors in her childhood, which trigger negative scenarios. Olya's first marriage broke up. Her marriage was also not "out of love": Olga got married in order to escape from the tight skin control of her mother. She says so:
Anal-skin-visual Olya had a reliance on anality and had a small temperament. She was afraid of her mother. She always found it difficult to resist maternal pressure, and her divorce also did not go without the intervention of her mother.
On the part of Nina Antonovna, a lot of things were involved in the divorce case: a skin desire to control everyone and everything, female envy, anal revenge.
“My grandmother went to their apartment almost every day and helped. She washed and cooked diapers. The whole house was on her,”says the grandfather: he does his best to justify his wife.
After the divorce, according to her grandmother, she hung her daughter around her grandson's neck as a "heavy peasant". In fact, Nina Antonovna did everything to make Sasha live with her. The birth of a grandson became, in a sense, a lifeline for her. She, according to her grandfather, even "seemed to calm down." In her grandson, she finally saw the goal, the use of her forces and desires, her realization.
“You’re not even a bitch, you’re not a woman at all. So that your organs are thrown out to the dogs because you dared to give birth to a child,”she shouts in a quarrel to her daughter. Rationalized by the fact that the child is often sick, he needs special care that the daughter cannot provide, Sasha is practically taken from his mother by force.
The author Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board paints the depth of Grandma's affection for her grandson. Nina Antonovna brings down all her temperament on him. A large share of fear in sight is complemented by over-concern in the anal. Her love takes on ugly forms:
This is real emotional vampirism. In fact, apart from rejection, such love causes nothing. With her "upbringing", the grandmother nurtures Sasha's fears, does not allow him to get stronger, hinders his development. Trying to tie the boy to herself, she manipulates his illnesses, makes him feel sick, fear death, fear of losing his mother …
In the story Bury Me Behind the Plinth, the relationship between grandmother and Sasha is complicated. Pavel Sanaev shows what kind of response such unhealthy love evokes in a boy. It is not surprising that Sasha does not love her grandmother.
Sasha does not feel safe with her grandmother, which is so important for a child, especially a visual one. On the contrary, she constantly inspires him that he is very sick and everything is very bad with him:
Putting such colossal negative pressure on Sasha, Nina Antonovna is sure that she devotes her whole life to him and loves only him. Grandma's rationalization and self-deception in Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board is an example of how you can live in your own illusion and not see the suffering that you become. Pavel Sanaev clearly shows this in his story.
The tight skin control of Nina Antonovna that reigned in the family complements the picture of the family structure. Everything obeyed her schedule and instructions. The way stressful unrealized skin expresses itself reaches the point of absurdity. Suspiciousness, passion for hoarding, hiding and hiding for a rainy day.
Grandmother always followed the skin rule “word is silver, and silence is gold” and taught this to Sasha. She lied in a skinny way easily, being sure that it could not be otherwise:
Sasha's whole life is limited by the prohibitions on entertainment and games, which are common for other children. An endless series of medications, tests and visits to doctors. Several times my mother tried to take Sasha away, but each time he was returned back. Only meetings with his mother become a real holiday for him.
But Sasha is forced to live with his grandmother: she will never let him go, her only fulfillment and outlet. His vision is filled with fears, unable to develop. He resists as best he can, but he is still small, it is difficult for him to resist the pressure. The visual child's fantasies begin to revolve around death.
Communication with his mother, like a thin thread, brings Sasha out of fear into love, gives him the opportunity to develop. Sasha loves his mother, she is the only one who gives him a vital sense of security, with her he has a real, saving for the boy, emotional connection.
It was only thanks to his great temperament that Sasha did not break down. Despite the negative pressure from his grandmother, he was able to withstand and overcome her influence. Yes, he was afraid, but he managed to withstand and learned love thanks to his mother, her support gave him strength.
With great potential, Nina Antonovna has been struggling all her life within the framework of her own underdevelopment … Having by nature great opportunities, she was unable to take advantage of them, could not live a happy life. Burned by her own unfulfilled desires, she suffered herself and was the cause of the suffering of others - a sad result …
The final scene of Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board describes grandma's funeral. Sasha will stay with her mother and her new husband Anatoly, an anal-visual theater artist. The portrait shown in the story shows that he can become a good stepfather for the boy. Mom is happy with him, and this family has a completely different atmosphere. There is no fear, and there is love, kinship and understanding. Sasha is only seven years old, there is still time for his development, and we hope that the negative moments he experienced will leave a minimal mark in his life.
The story "Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board" is almost entirely a systemic work. And the reviews of real people echo the life described by Pavel Sanaev in the book Bury Me Behind the Skirting Board. Pavel Sanaev describes life as it is, sometimes in the most accurate way reflecting the systematic character and the formation of life scenarios. A deep understanding of what is happening with each of us and everyone in general can be obtained at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan - the new science of man. You can register for free online lectures here.