Afraid to give birth, or why I don't want to get pregnant
Waiting to "have" to give birth can be a real nightmare. What can improve the condition of those women who are afraid of pregnancy? We are afraid of the unknown …
Scared to give life
“… Mom, help with advice! I myself did not expect that I would find myself in such a situation … I used to want a child, but now, when I got pregnant, I suddenly realized that I didn’t want to, and that was all! The fourth day I have hysterics … I am discouraged by my wild unwillingness to give birth. I just have a panic from this thought arises. It feels like life will end or turn upside down. I am afraid that I will never be free, I am afraid that my relationship with my beloved will change, that everything will go awry … I feel that I am absolutely not ready for changes in my life, I don’t want them with every fiber of my soul. And I myself am ashamed of my thoughts. Lena.
What's going on with Lena? Where does this panic, fear of childbirth and motherhood come from? Does this happen to other women too? Yes! Fear of pregnancy and fear of childbirth are not as rare as they seem.
“… I am already 28 years old, and I have no children. My husband and I lived well until the moment when he wanted children. I have not been able to give birth to a child for 6 years. I am afraid of pregnancy and childbirth. At first I did not give birth - I had business trips at work and I could not appear in front of everyone with a stomach. Then my closest friend died in childbirth … After that, I can't even hear about pregnancy.
But the worst thing is that my husband insists that I give birth. Twice we parted with him because of this. I offered to take a child from an orphanage, but he doesn't even want to hear about it.
I don’t know what to do or how to overcome this fear. How to tune yourself to the possible birth of children? I'm afraid of getting pregnant, I'm afraid to give birth! Have the experts faced such a problem? Thank! Christina.
The answer to these questions is given by System-Vector Psychology. You don't need to say affirmations and be hypnotized to get rid of painful conditions. In this article, we will tell Christine, Lena and other women who are afraid to give birth, are afraid of pregnancy and pain, about the reasons for these fears. We will reveal how, in the course of the evolution of our psyche, the fear of pregnancy and the fear of childbirth arise and what a woman should do about it.
… A long time ago, at the beginning of time, the intelligent structure of the primitive human community was organized: each member of the pack performed its specific role, ensuring the preservation and continuation of the genus. The daytime guard of the flock was then a woman, warning the flock of danger, emitting pheromones of fear in fright. It was a skin-visual woman.
She accompanied a flock of men on the hunt and war, inspiring a general or becoming a nurse. And as you know, children have no place in war. Therefore, there is no such woman in her, not only the maternal instinct, but even the desire to give birth and raise.
About 50 thousand years have passed since then. The modern savannah has sprouted with skyscrapers, palaces, factories and nuclear power plants. Airplanes, rockets, and satellites have become as familiar as migratory birds. Medicine has reached tremendous heights, and even skin-visual women have learned to give birth. But the maternal instinct is not yet artificially implanted …
And still she is a ranked female, the guard of the pack, without maternal instinct and the ability to handle babies. “I don’t want to give birth, I don’t want a child” is an understandable and explainable state for the psyche of a woman who has been nulliparous for millennia.
This is where the roots of fears related to pregnancy and motherhood of a modern woman are located, who has a bundle of skin and visual vectors in the set of vectors. She calls this feeling of fear "afraid of pain", "afraid to give birth." She feels an inexplicable anxiety in front of the unknown, a contradiction between her desires and the role of a woman accepted in society. She also fears not to become a good mother, not to cope with a species role alien to her.
How scary it is to go up to him, pick him up - "and if I drop, and if I fall asleep, and if I turn my leg wrong, and if …". And when it starts to hurt, smell, get dirty, cry … No, I don't want to give birth to children, I just can't cope with them.
This is how much you need to be able to be a mother! It's good if there is a caring husband or grandmothers-nannies to whom you can leave all this and run away, run from home to your home, to the night savanna!
I don't want to have children. Is this normal?
Public opinion is adamant: the meaning of any woman's life is in giving birth and raising her children. Not understanding the nature of the skin-visual woman, the environment pities her when she does not get married or does not give birth for a long time in marriage, and, on the contrary, condemns when, having given birth, she leaves her child to be raised by other people. It is not easy to hear endlessly behind your back: “What do you mean - I don’t want to give birth? What kind of woman are you? " Or: “How is it - she does not want to raise a child, throws off on grandmothers? What kind of mother is this?"
The Internet is full of such examples of contradictions. Women want to understand where these fears come from, why do some want children while others do not? What to do about it? If a woman does not want to have children - is this normal or some kind of pathology?
Here are some more of these letters.
“… I am very worried about the“childish question”. You see, I have never felt a craving for motherhood, I am not touched by babies in the arms of mothers, baby faces do not make me hysterical to pick up and feed from a spoon, and in general, to be quite frank: I disdain. Snot, screams, diapers, illness … The husband does not insist on children. Until. I am afraid that some time will pass, and he will say that now, he has matured, but I feel that I don’t need it in principle. My mother says that I am already 25 years old, I have to give birth while I have health, but her point of view is not close to me at all. In general, I am afraid to speak on this topic, it seems to me that I will be immediately stoned and accused of inhuman egoism. I don't want children, it's true, but I feel desperately guilty for it. Before whom - it is not clear. Arina"
The purpose of a nulliparous woman is to cry over other people's sorrows and love other people's children. But few people understand this.
The bewilderment, anxiety and conflicts that arise among modern women in connection with the child's issue run counter to traditional social foundations and prevent them from meeting the expectations of their husbands, relatives and the environment. And the more society presses, the more panicky the woman has: "Lord, I am so afraid of getting pregnant, I am so afraid to give birth … I will probably die during childbirth."
Waiting to "have" to give birth can be a real nightmare:
“… Girls, hello everyone! Need help and advice! The fact is that I don’t want children, I don’t love them, I have even had nightmares for several years that I have a child, that I’m running away from him, abandoning him, forgetting about him … I don’t understand how you can give birth to children in this cruel the world! And if I die, if my husband leaves, if anything else? Around there is complete degradation, anger, cruelty … The point is even that I am terribly afraid to give birth, it seems to me that I will die during childbirth - I often had a dream that I was dying, that my heart stopped, then I woke up in cold sweat! Marina.
We are afraid of the unknown. Therefore, anxiety and fear of pregnancy, childbirth, pain, future motherhood absorbs the more, the less the woman is realized in her specific role - in love, in compassion. When the natural sensuality is realized enough, the fear of becoming pregnant is reduced and the woman is not afraid of childbirth to that extent.
With the development of civilization, the need to protect the flock has become a thing of the past, but the task of educating feelings has remained. On the stages of theater, stage, on TV screens, they suffer, cry, evoking a reciprocal feeling in us. In a more developed state, they teach children language and literature, instill in us universal cultural values. They are the creators of culture.
I want to, but I'm afraid!
Today the reality around us has become more complex, and we have become more complex. Therefore, there are almost no people with one or two vectors. There are whole complexes of properties in one person, such as, for example, the skin-visual ligament in the presence of other vectors. So, an anal-skin-muscular woman with sound and visual vectors may also be afraid of pregnancy and childbirth, although she is not skin-visual in its pure form. A "mixture" of opposite aspirations in the psyche gives the following effect: on the one hand, a woman wants to become a mother, and on the other hand, she is afraid of getting pregnant and is afraid of childbirth.
Women with an anal vector are the best mothers, the best wives, the best specialists in their field. They are the ones who want to have children, a family and a quiet, calm life. And they are often torn apart by the contradiction between their great natural desire for motherhood and … horror in front of him! And also a sense of guilt:
“… When we met my husband, I realized that this is my chosen one. I wanted and want to have common children with him. But there is one terrible "but" - I'm terribly afraid to give birth! I want and I am afraid. Margarita ".
For a girl with an anal vector, there is also a danger of earning a sense of guilt in front of whom and for what. If you have the same situation, don't blame yourself. You will become the best mother for your baby, but sometimes you will need to find time for yourself. And if your spouse and family can understand this - you're in luck!
I don't want to and I won't!
Here is what the skin-visual actresses say about their absence of children:
Jacqueline Bissé, 65:
“Believe it or not, I have no regrets that I never became a mother. Moreover, I am not even tormented by remorse, I am glad that I lived the life I wanted."
Eva Mendes, 35:
“Children are not for me. Don't get me wrong, I like these little assholes, they are cute. But even more I love healthy sleep and a quiet life."
Kim Cattrall, 53:
“The only thing that annoys me is to feel like a social outcast. Understand finally: I do not regret at all that I did not become a mother. I am a good aunt and I have many friends with children. But after work I want to go home and relax."
Some who have not been able to realize themselves in the career of an actress, having married and having given birth to a child, tell others that they have devoted all of themselves to their family, sacrificing their calling, and do not feel happy. But there are others who argue that by giving all of themselves to the profession, they sacrificed their role as a mother. Both those and others simply rationalize, explaining their lives.
What can improve the condition of those women who are afraid of pregnancy? It is the awareness of one's destiny that saves one from unnecessary, externally imposed notions, from fear and confusion that come from a lack of understanding of one's true nature. When there is an accurate understanding of your natural properties, you do not need to resist others. Without any fear, you will simply make a conscious decision about whether you need this step in life or not.
At the training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan, you will truly recognize yourself and be able to finally get rid of your fears, at a deep level understanding their roots.
