The child's personality is a hydrogen BOMB in his head
Measuring the height and weight of a child, describing the appearance is within the power of all parents and teachers, in contrast to determining his mental properties. A child is not a blank sheet on which educators can write whatever they like. A baby is naturally endowed with innate desires, properties - vectors …
You don't need to give birth to a baby. Every healthy person is able to do this. This does not require any special efforts, special permissions. The natural process of the continuation of the human race.
Another thing is that the ability to give birth to a child is not at all equivalent to the ability of parents to educate him as a person. Every day we see clear evidence of this simple truth - broken lives and twisted lives. We reap the bitter fruits of parental mistakes.
To give birth - not to educate
- Who gave birth to you, monster? the artist asked, looking at the disheveled boy who was literally dragged by the head of the school to him. Yesterday, the juvenile delinquent wrote dirty words, tore to shreds a picture on display in a school museum. The fruit of five years of painstaking work.
- How could you beat my husband to death, do you really have no shame, no conscience, not a drop of compassion? an angry woman shouted to a pack of teenagers in the dock.
- Why did you beat up the neighbor's dog? - the mother of a twelve-year-old boy wondered, who in childhood was a very obedient, docile, quiet child. When did he manage to turn into a stubborn ram with sadistic tendencies?
Parents of children with deviant (deviating from normal) behavior did not know what they did wrong. The mother's heart did not suggest the right path to the child's soul.
Life according to the principle “we will give birth first, and then, as the card falls, we will cope with difficulties as they come” leads to sad consequences.
Was good - became bad
At the trial, the mothers of criminals, rapists, murderers, thieves, swindlers cry bitterly, tearfully assure the court that their children were good, but difficult circumstances pushed them to commit a crime.
Few of them admit that it’s not a life situation, but the wrong upbringing of the child. Not everyone commits a crime in critical moments of life. They know other ways to survive, use non-marginal methods of getting pleasure from life.
Parental blunders do not always appear immediately in raising children, but as chickens are counted in the fall, the effectiveness of parenting in full glory is manifested in the behavior of children after puberty.
The cuckoo, admitting its incompetence in raising its own chicks, shifts the responsibility to other birds.
Some parents do about the same, leaving babies in the hospital, giving them to other people to raise. At the same time, they forget that it is in the hands of the person himself either to act like a cuckoo, or to learn how to properly raise a child.
Where are parents taught - the most demanded profession in the world?
Everywhere and nowhere. People around them share their experiences, images from childhood come to mind, pedagogical encyclopedias and monographs of psychologists gather dust on the bookshelves.
There is a ghostly certainty that educated parents know everything about child psychology and children's behavior. Along the beaten paths of someone else's successful experience, they will be able to bring up a comprehensively developed personality from a baby.
Beautiful signboard of parental delusions
- My child is a person! - a young woman told all the neighbors in the yard. - It is necessary to educate the child correctly, in accordance with the psychological and pedagogical canons!
For two years they silently agreed with her. They nodded obediently.
One day she began to complain that her son did not want to go to drawing classes, despite all her sophisticated persuasions and convincing explanations.
- Dear, don't you think that a child can have his own opinion, different from yours? I remember he is a person! - said the former head of the kindergarten softly.
- Isn't the personality of a child manifested in obedience to his parents?
How often do we, following the fashionable trends in society, drag our child to it is not clear where and why. We grab everything by inches and by inches. The time is such - delay is like a loss. Time is money. To spend it on realizing, understanding what education is and who your child is, seems unimportant to many, even stupid. "We somehow grew up, our parents did not learn anything."
We see at the root
Measuring the height and weight of a child, describing the appearance is within the power of all parents and teachers, in contrast to determining his mental properties.
A child is not a blank sheet on which educators can write whatever they like. A baby is naturally endowed with innate desires, properties - vectors. Rather, he is a distorting mirror that reflects the efforts of his teachers.
Good parents start by understanding the inner desires of their child and raising him in accordance with them, and not with personal aspirations, based on their needs. A duck was born - they bring it up happy, without trying to make an eagle out of it. All the same, even with gigantic efforts you can't mold an eagle out of a duck, you just make it unhappy … with a guarantee.
What nature has written in the psyche of a child cannot be cut out with an ax, only broken.
Lumberjack parents
A typical situation: a mother with a visual-cutaneous ligament of vectors walks with her anal daughter in the park. Constantly pulls her hand, scolds for clumsiness and slowness. She is unaware that she has the most caring, loving and obedient daughter in the world. If, of course, it is correct to develop it, and not judge through yourself, requiring skin speed, flexibility, grace.
It is not given to a daughter by nature to run on stilettos on the lawn, so that passing men would stack up after her, but she was born to be a good housewife, a faithful wife, a caring mother.
In the meantime, the skin-visual mother knows little about herself, and even less about the mental characteristics and life values of her daughter. And there is only one BUT:
Ignorance does not absolve from responsibility!
Because with her constant reproaches, expressions of discontent, inadequate prohibitions, she prevents her daughter from developing innate abilities, turns an obedient girl into a stubborn lamb, offended by the whole world, by her actions.
***
Often we are not looking for the truth, we do not want to see the true reasons, but we are looking for confirmation of our thoughts. Without much thought, we lay out a logical and understandable puzzle in our head: drinking parents - a drinking son, a thief-father and a criminal son.
Life shows that this is not so.
What to do with your child, how not to educate him as an idiot, moron, degenerate? How to develop it in the right direction, knowing exactly what you are doing?
Vector systems psychology provides the answer. Introductory lectures are coming soon.
