How to love yourself correctly to be happy
In almost all of these women's seminars and marathons, the message about the need to love yourself runs like a red thread. Advice is voiced on how to do it right and how wrong. The importance of this recommendation is explained as follows: only when you love yourself, others will love you. But are women getting the results they expected? How does their state and life change after trying to love themselves?
Women go to trainings on the development of femininity, wanting changes in their lives. They want to establish paired relationships, become more attractive, take place in a career plan, get rid of fears and insecurities, learn to show their feelings.
In almost all of these women's seminars and marathons, the message about the need to love yourself runs like a red thread. Advice is voiced on how to do it right and how wrong. The importance of this recommendation is explained as follows: only when you love yourself, others will love you.
But are women getting the results they expected? How does their state and life change after trying to love themselves?
Let's understand the psychological mechanisms of love with the help of knowledge from the training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology".
Trap
The instruction to "love yourself" is perceived as salutary. Because it indulges our own desires and our weaknesses. It's so nice to love yourself and wait for other people to do the rest for us. The phrase resonates with many women, because it promises pleasure, as if it allows you to think about yourself and not think about others.
The problem is that when we set ourselves such an attitude, we not only do not become happier, but, on the contrary, lose in all respects. Paying increased attention to ourselves, we move away from other people - the main potential source of joy for any person.
After all, our whole life is a relationship with others. At home, with family, at work, in the city, on the Internet - everywhere. The feeling of happiness in life depends on how our relationship develops.
When we follow the attitude to love ourselves, we focus on ourselves, looking for how to please ourselves, and involuntarily try to adjust other people to this attitude. We expect them to give us pleasure too.
This makes it difficult to think about the desires of other people. It is a trap. Why should they please you? What if they, too, only think about how to please themselves?
Obsessing over ourselves, pushing into the background or until better times of the people around us, we destroy the connections that united us. We wait and demand from them something for ourselves - instead of becoming a source of warmth and love ourselves. Thus, we artificially limit ourselves in the possibilities of feeling joy, happiness, satisfaction from life and only exacerbate our loneliness. Instead of the expected changes for the better, things get worse.
For example, an impressionable woman with a visual vector may feel insecure due to intense fears. In such a state, it will seem to her that no one loves her, that they do not pay enough attention to her.
If in this state she follows the advice to love herself, begins to concentrate more often on her own feelings, her fears will only intensify.
Moreover, increased attention to oneself on the basis of fears gives rise to suspiciousness, hypochondria, superstition, which further reduces the quality of life. The more a woman listens to her own experiences, feelings, the more every sneeze or pimple scares her. In every failure, she sees an evil fate or damage, and around every corner she sees maniacs.
You can get rid of fears and excessive feelings, but it happens differently. A clear understanding of the nature of fears, their causes, which the training "System-Vector Psychology" gives, deprives them of their inexplicability - you begin to understand what is happening to you, and fears lose their power over you. Listen to how the emotional state changes after the training:
How to be the woman you love
The instruction to love yourself is justified by the fact that only then other people will be able to love us. In fact, the question is different: does the woman feel happy, and if not, then why.
In the process of the onset of attraction between a man and a woman, the leading one is the smell - an unconscious pheromone background that comes from the woman. And it is determined by its internal state.
The more balanced, calm and happy a woman is, the more attractive she is to those around her. However, inner peace has nothing to do with the popular slogan "love yourself." Our happiness and unhappiness have very different reasons.
Imagine, here comes a woman. The shoulders are lowered, the gaze is reproachful, the gait is heavy … Who would want to approach her? Even if she is dressed up with a needle, even if the makeup and hair and shoes are expensive - it doesn't matter.
But the other one does not go, but flies, shines, eyes burn, a smile on her face. I just want to come and bask in its rays. Everyone turns after her. The florist gave a camomile, they made a discount on coffee in the cafe, they gave me a hand on the bus.
What is the difference? In the internal state.
What does it depend on, how to change it? Understand! In yourself, to understand those around you, so as not to run into pitfalls of false expectations and attitudes, fears and resentments, accumulated bad experience every time. System-vector psychology allows everyone to do this in a short period.
For example, a woman experienced a failed relationship, a painful breakup that left a grudge inside. No matter how hard she tries, the feeling of the experienced injustice will interfere with communication with men, will not allow them to get closer. Instead of clarifying the situation, she will subconsciously seek confirmation that “all men are the same”, and this will prevent her from realizing her desire to start a family, to find a loved one. This is how the psyche is arranged, it cannot be outsmarted, one can only understand. Hear how life changes from this understanding:
Until our inner problems are resolved, no matter how we try to love ourselves, decorate, indulge and pamper, we will not become happier. Self-love will not help to let go of the resentment, change the attitude towards the offender or other annoying factors.
Any negative psychological states go away at the training "System-vector psychology", as the reasons become obvious to us, all the cause-and-effect relationships of desires and actions, our own and other people, come out. And this changes everything - the perception of the world around us and our well-being.
We understand why the relationship did not take place, what was the reason for the breakup, what our expectations were, and what the partner's capabilities are, and all the experiences associated with this go away. As a result, our smell changes. People around us perceive us differently.
Peace and harmony within us are felt by other people, they are beginning to be drawn to us. But this is achieved not by love for oneself, but by understanding oneself and others.
I feel another person, I understand him as myself, I do not condemn, I do not criticize, I do not extol, but I accept. And then it becomes good next to me. Warm, light and pleasant.
What does it mean to love
Any false attitudes that are replicated in women's trainings without taking into account the psychological characteristics of each woman is a path to nowhere. When, in pursuit of someone else's happiness, we try to live someone else's life or focus on ourselves, thereby we only move away from our own happiness.
Recommendations to put your needs first in pair relationships, to love yourself first, and then everyone else, only lead to aggravation of problems, and do not solve them. Concentrating on your own desires instead of the partner's feelings alienates people from each other and, as a result, destroys any union.
Our physical body is arranged like this: first it receives resources (food, water, rest), and then it is able to give. But the psyche is arranged the other way around: to get something, to experience pleasure, you must first do something for others.
We work with full attention and involvement in the process - we get respect and salary. We love with all our hearts, forgetting about ourselves - we are loved in return. This is a law of nature and cannot be fooled.
Focusing on "loving yourself", we obviously find ourselves alone. If we want happiness, it is important for us to give this happiness to others - in this we can draw endless pleasure.
When we understand what we really are, what it is - our happiness, then we begin to meet it, make peace with ourselves. We are not trying to remake ourselves for someone else's template or remake loved ones for our own ideas. And we begin to love our life. To love those people who surround us. And, lo and behold, they reciprocate us!
The training "System Vector Psychology" does not provide advice. He reveals before you eight facets of the human psyche. It reveals completely, exhaustively, clearly and observably, so simple and accessible that you yourself determine which of the facets are present in your psychic.
In the course of the training, you will learn your own desires, values and priorities and understand which of them were not satisfied. Which of them, due to lack of fulfillment, brought suffering and ruined your life. What caused complexes, clamps, psychological problems or whole pathological life scenarios.
You will find out the fullness of your capabilities, the full range of desires and abilities of your psyche, which means that you understand how to fully realize all your talents in order to enjoy your life.
For example, having figured out that the anal vector is the leading one - therefore you are a wonderful housewife, a faithful wife and a caring mother - you will give up exhausting and pointless attempts to go on a diet or go in for active sports. At the same time, you will stop "seizing" stress and will come to your own weight rate completely painlessly.
Only through understanding yourself can you change your attitude towards people and enjoy communication. This is the only way to become attractive to the very one, your man, in order to create those very reliable and long-term relationships. This is the only way to unmistakably find yourself professionally and take place in the chosen field.
We get real pleasure from other people. The more we are connected with others, the more directed towards others, the more we receive in return.
What kind of woman do they love? A woman with a big heart. They are surprised at her, admire her, amazed at her and take an example from her. They follow her, perform feats for her, put the world at her feet, for her sake, destinies change and rivers flow in the other direction. Because she changes those who are close to her and those who are far from her.
She gives, not takes away, and … she wants to give her heart.
She loves, and does not demand love for herself, and … you want to love her in return.
She lives for others, so she creates goodness, light and happiness. She helps, heals, rescues and gives hope - no, the confidence that good will win anyway. After all, she is good.
Beautiful women, our hearts were not given to hide behind our breasts, but to be open and to love!
Love people, love, do not be afraid! With all my might.
