Raising a Daredevil. Battering ram of the general education system. Part 2
A child's escape is always a shock. The urethral child always runs unexpectedly. You come home - there is a note on the table: gone, don't look. Once the rank of the leader was not recognized within the family, he jumps out to where he can only be - to his flock. More about the chances of finding him in this case …
Escape to the flock
A child's escape is always a shock. It is interesting that the "leaders" very often run away from the so-called "good families" from quite prosperous parents. Escape in this case can be a response to the seemingly harmless traditional, standard upbringing: "Until you learn, you won't go for a walk", "And I said, don't you dare be friends with this cattle!" For the urethra, this is the same as saying: "Until you dig a trench, you will not breathe." Or "Don't you dare be in your body!" Where do you order him to go? So he jumps out where the only possible place for him is to be in his flock. Do you think these people are cattle? Well, since the rank of the leader was not recognized within the family, he will find where the contingent is more intelligent, and you can count ad infinitum. Then go look. About the chances of finding - a little lower.
A skin child runs from hopelessness and the inability to adapt more, for example, to beating. This escape is predictable in principle. A runaway skinner is caught relatively quickly, as a rule, he is caught stealing or without a ticket, most likely he is alone and suffers. Anal ones run extremely rarely and return quickly. Anal escape for a day at most. In the evening, the lack of a home becomes especially acute, and the baby is likely to return on his own, unless, of course, no one bothers him.
The leader always runs unexpectedly. You come home - there is a note on the table: gone, don't look. But more often without a note.
Three for strong pheromones
And everything was fine yesterday! Just think, they forced to rewrite the essay, you need to study! They didn’t force us, they didn’t trick us. And this one does not want to learn, even burst.
The urethral child does only what he sees fit, studies only those subjects (usually one or two) that are interesting to him. Here he can achieve outstanding success. If the subject is not interesting, the tutorial will not open at all. Teachers often repeat about such people: "Able, but only three!" A three is when he hasn't even read. Systemically paraphrasing the expression “for beautiful eyes”, we can say “for strong pheromones”. After all, teachers are also people and cannot but succumb to the irresistible charm of the leader.
How to fit into a flock of cattle
But back to the escape. There is also very bad news: the chance to catch the leader is zero point zero. He's in a pack of cattle, with whom you simply could not communicate. So that's it. Each of the "cattle" is ready to "enter" his leader at the dacha of a friend of a former girlfriend's sister. Do you already have a couple of olfactory pinkertons on hand to solve this problem? That's it. The district police officer is "obese and short of breath."
The persecuted leader is informed about all your movements, the "entries" are changed. Equip at least all the policemen - until you yourself mercifully return, do not hope to find it. You can beat on pity. Sometimes it works. Urethral pity is a rare thing. Nothing to do with "sorry for the bird." Start calling all available friends, starting with the most prosperous. Even if you are told that they do not know anything (and this is what they will tell you), keep crying, honestly talking about your desperate situation.
In the end, he will be told. If he decides that you have improved, he will return. Not home. Will appear in sight. For example, at school. Again in the flock. And here it is important not to start bullying again. Then he will run away again, and now forever.
Knocked out of the pack or life to destroy
Beating an urethral child is a separate topic. In general, you can only hit him once. After that, he will either kill you in anger, or run away, or this is not the leader. When the urethral leader is small, he cannot physically kill you, there remains an escape and … a complete breakdown of the life scenario. A beaten (demoted) fugitive leader becomes a loner. Without a pack, he is like another without a body - it seems that he does not exist.
From fearless, overcoming obstacles, such a person becomes a pathological coward, can fall into any of the most terrible addictions. Suicide is quite real and, as a rule, occurs soon enough, sometimes disguised as “life to destroy” - drugs, alcohol, unjustified risk.
His flock is your family
With the right approach, urethral babies are the lightest. Give him the responsibility you can and you will see that the task will be completed better than you could imagine. Try to make the urethral baby perceive the family as his flock. While he is small, this is easy to do. Ask his opinion, consult with him, make it clear that without him you are nowhere. This is really so, no fake. After all, you really cannot imagine life without him, so let him fully understand this: "How am I without you?" / “Grandmother forgets to take medicine without you” / “Dad cannot decide without you where we will go today” / “Take care of your little brother, he only obeys you”. You can't praise. One should admire: “Only you could handle it !, Great idea! Perfectly thought out!"
Learn to take
Get ready for the fact that the urethral baby will constantly offer you something from his simple arsenal: toys, drawings, goodies. Little leaders are very fond of giving gifts from their shoulders, feeding those close to them. This may sound funny to you. Don't humiliate him with laughter. Take it for granted. No "Oh, thank you, thank you, what a good boy!"
He's not a good boy. He is your breadwinner. Feel the difference. Just take it, eat it and say with feeling: "Very tasty!" Never refuse, they say, mom has already eaten, eat it yourself. You must definitely take it. But there is no need to thank. For the urethra, recoil is natural, just as for other vectors, recoil. It’s absurd, in fact, to say, "Thank you for eating our lunch." Gratitude to the leader will be your satisfied face, smile, words: "How delicious you fed your mother!"
Help the flock find him
Closely monitor the social circle of the urethral child. A leader is necessary for any flock, but the better he is developed, the more developed the flock he will pick up. Undeveloped, abandoned to chance, he will easily lead the archetypal street thieves and will pave the way into the big crime.
In no case should such a child be limited to home schooling, and kindergarten should be avoided. Of all the children, he most of all needs the company of his peers, otherwise how will he find his flock, and the flock will find him? When giving a child to a team, get ready for the fact that you will often have to communicate with teachers, educators.
For them, deprived of systemic knowledge so far, your child will seem like hell. In communicating with the teacher, clearly keep your position "my child is always right", even if you doubt it, and say polite phrases out loud. All debriefings are only at home, in a flock, in a bottom-up form, no matter how difficult it may seem: “I'm sure you had reason to do so. Can you tell me so that I can understand? " Do not allow teachers' councils, where you and the teacher are on one side of the barricade, and the child is on the other. Respected teachers like to arrange this. Remember: while you are with him - you are in his pack, run over to the side of the "enemies" - you will become an enemy forever. Then everything is meaningless.
PART 3. IN RESPONSIBILITY FOR THOSE WHO TAMED