Fear of childbirth: helping the expectant mother
We worry when we don't know what awaits us. It doesn't matter if a woman is expecting the first or second child. Even a mother of many children during pregnancy may have fears associated with possible deviations from a favorable development of events. How to deal with fear of childbirth and how to deal with it successfully?
Fear of childbirth can completely poison the anticipation of a long-awaited event. How to deal with the excitement and fully enjoy the joy of motherhood?
The unknown is scary
We worry when we don't know what awaits us. We are afraid for the mark on the exam until the results are posted. We are worried about what will happen in the new team until we get to know our colleagues better. Uncertainty is a stressful factor for any person, and this principle is as true as possible when it comes to preparing for childbirth.
It doesn't matter if a woman is expecting the first or second child. Even a mother of many children during pregnancy may have fears associated with possible deviations from a favorable development of events. The situation is aggravated when friends and acquaintances describe in detail all kinds of difficulties they have passed or are known from the stories of third parties.
How to deal with fear of childbirth and how to deal with it successfully? First of all, you need to remove the unknown factor:
Find out all the necessary information about the physiological side of the process.
It is important to make sure that information about the course of pregnancy and childbirth is obtained from reliable sources, carefully read it, and it is better to learn it. This will allow the woman to feel confident and not get lost in an unfamiliar situation.
The internal state of a woman
The state of mind of a person largely determines the degree of relaxation or stiffness of the body. Fear causes unnecessary stress, deprives a woman of the ability to think clearly, interferes with recognizing important body signals. It can provoke unpleasant physiological sensations from scratch. At the same time, the psychological balance of the mother plays a huge role for the full development of the baby. This is why it is important to overcome anxiety and anxiety before having a baby.
Take care of psychological literacy.
The psychological aspect should be given special attention. After all, it is obvious that not every woman is afraid of childbirth. There are women who perceive the birth of a baby as a natural event and are not inclined to stir up panic about this. And there are those who are horrified by the frightening pictures of their own imaginations. The point is in the differences in the mental structure.
Who is subject to fear
Everyone can experience fear to one degree or another, but in people with a visual vector, it can reach cosmic dimensions. What fears do pregnant women have?
- fear of pain;
- fear of neglect of midwives;
- fear of possible complications.
If they swell to an immense scale and do not disappear, even if the woman understands that the risks of an unpleasant development of events are minimized, most likely, we are talking about the visual vector. To gain calmness and confidence, in order to know how to overcome fear of childbirth, you must first of all know your psyche exactly.
Why does fear arise?
The reasons for the emergence of fear can be reduced to two main ones:
- children's psychological trauma and improper education of feelings;
- stress from lack of protection and safety in adulthood.
A girl with a visual vector is sensitive, vulnerable, emotional. In a healthy psychological environment, a cheerful, empathic, sociable person grows, always ready to take care of a cat with a damaged paw or to put a toy stethoscope on its neck to "treat" relatives and friends from ailments. But she can show herself whiny, capricious, even hysterical. Excessive anxiety is also a sign of the visual vector. It depends on the state of mind.
Sight people can have a wide variety of fears - fear of spiders or public speaking, agoraphobia or claustrophobia, social phobia, and panic attacks. Often such spectators are faced with the question of how to overcome the fear of childbirth.
Psychological trauma can be if girls with a visual vector:
intimidated
"If you don't obey, your uncle-policeman will take you!" These seemingly harmless parental remarks can fix the little spectator on the experience of fear.
And the scenes of parental quarrels even more so frighten the baby, interfering with development. It is important for a child to feel protected and safe in the family.
read the wrong tales
This refers not only to horror stories about the black hand. "Kolobok", "Wolf and seven kids", "Three little pigs" are harmful to the delicate psyche of a visual child, because it excites the primitive fear of falling into the teeth of a predator. They can be read only when the psyche has already grown stronger on literature that awakens empathy.
shamed for tears
For the normal development of feelings, it is vitally important for the spectator to express them without inadequate prohibitions. Otherwise, the ideal ground for fears to arise.
Even if childhood traumas are long forgotten, they write the script of our life, and it is important to deal with them by the time of the birth of our own children, so that the train of negative parental states does not affect the child. A deep understanding of the peculiarities of the mother's psyche allows you to radically solve the question of how to cope with the fear of childbirth. This helps to maintain the necessary level of focus in crucial moments, without falling into sterile panic. Here's how Anastasia did it:
Under protection
Evolutionarily, a man protects a woman. This makes her feel safe. With this sense of a secure shoulder, she doesn't even have to look for ways to get rid of her fear of childbirth. If there is trust between spouses, then partner childbirth is one of the ways a man can additionally support a woman.
Not feeling secure enough, the expectant mother may experience stress and fear of childbirth, even if she normally does not have fears.
Fears can also be provoked by a stressful situation of a different kind. For example, a woman is abruptly deprived of her usual life: when moving to another city or changing jobs. When you do not seem to feel support under your feet and you need to rebuild what gave you confidence in the future.
The solution to the problem is to understand your psychological characteristics. This gives the woman resistance to stress. Then, without much guesswork, she determines what is the reason for her fear and in what way she can regain her lost inner balance.
How to prepare for childbirth
Women with a visual vector are suggestible and impressionable, so they should avoid talking about what terrible collisions can await a woman in labor. So they will only be scared to death, which will not bring anything good to either the expectant mother or the child. Spectators value aesthetic pleasure, so it is advisable to find an opportunity to visit a museum or exhibition, take an interesting trip or find a corner where she can contemplate flowering plants.
But the most important thing is to find a constructive way to realize the innate emotional potential through empathy. Remember how this happens when we turn our attention to other people? Our worries about ourselves are forgotten when our souls are sick about someone. “How is grandma there? She is completely sad after the death of her grandfather. Presses alone the remote control buttons, and on TV only news and soap operas. And she had asked for a long time to tune her favorite travel channel. He will watch programs about the warm sea, exotic fruits and rest in hammocks … And forget about the loss at least for a while. Set up broadcasting from tropical islands today! We call a taxi - and tea with grandma! And there will be no room for alarm about yourself.
There are features
The psyche of a modern city dweller includes from three to five vectors. Recommendations for preparing for childbirth will differ depending on what vectors the woman has, in addition to the visual one.
thorough and caring
Potentially golden mums. If there is an anal vector in a woman's mental, then this gives rise to a tendency to diligently perform any business for which she undertakes. Childbirth is no exception! These girls are naturally unhurried and tend to give birth slowly. It is important for them to psychologically adjust themselves correctly. In particular, do not set an unattainable high level for yourself and do not worry that she will do something wrong, because, most likely, such a mother, due to psychological characteristics, responsibly approached the study of information about how childbirth is going, and knows the theory by the tooth.
bright and artistic
The psyche of skin-visual women is unusual in that by nature they do not have a maternal instinct. But this does not mean that they are unable to love children or that they are not good enough mothers. On the contrary, it often happens that it is about the skin-visual mother that children speak with special warmth. Her vocation is to be a muse, fostering culture, capable of creating a special poetic atmosphere in the house.
Since evolutionarily such women did not give birth, they may have problems with conception and bearing, so it is especially important for them to monitor the course of pregnancy in the clinic under the supervision of experienced doctors. The possibilities of modern medicine allow the skin-visual, on an equal basis with other women, to give birth to healthy babies.
Here is how an obstetrician-gynecologist who has knowledge from Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology" tells about some of the features of expectant mothers:
Love, not fear
It is not at all necessary to perceive the struggle with fear as military action and overwhelming overcoming. It is worth applying the advice of a systems psychologist on how to cope with fear of childbirth, and fears will imperceptibly dissolve and give way to love.
