How to deal with anxiety
Excitement arises as a natural reaction to an important event. It's okay to get worried about taking your driving license exam and taking the road for the first time. It is exciting to ask questions in a large audience, close a big deal, perform on stage. Everyone is worried, and it does not depend on gender, age and training. To answer the question of how to deal with anxiety and overcome fear, you need to understand the reasons. It takes a lot of time, but the result is worth it …
I want to be confident in myself, speaking in public, to calmly make responsible decisions, not to be shy about asking a girl out on a date or confessing my feelings to her. Asking for a fair increase in salary, reporting on the work done on the project, passing a retraining exam - there are many situations in life when we are worried. And it's good if the excitement tickles your nerves pleasantly, making you feel sharper and clearer. But it happens that we fall into an uncontrollable, irrational reaction, when a wave of fear covers, fetters and in the bud destroys all the best undertakings. The performance was disrupted, there was no one to go on a date with, the exam was failed. And all because of the excitement that intensifies after each failure.
To answer the question of how to deal with anxiety and overcome fear, you need to understand the reasons. It takes a lot of time, but the result is worth it.
The reasons for the excitement
Excitement arises as a natural reaction to an important event. It's okay to get worried about taking your driving license exam and taking the road for the first time. It is exciting to ask questions in a large audience, close a big deal, perform on stage. Everyone is worried, and it does not depend on gender, age and training. The only difference is the reasons why we worry. And if emotional experience does not turn off the ability to think and act, then the question of how to cope with anxiety does not arise. Worse, when excitement becomes a habit, it becomes a stable personality characteristic and interferes with life.
Excitement is emotion. The more emotional a person is in their manifestations, the more they tend to worry. According to systemic psychoanalysis, these include the owners of the visual vector in the psyche. There is a long way from the manifestation of the first strong emotions in a visual child to mature feelings in an adult. And it doesn't always go smoothly. Excitement is less well controlled by those who are not allowed to show emotion during development. Excessive severity, a ban on tears, excessive and negative reactions to the manifestation of emotions, physical and moral punishment. Silent reproach, ignorance, lack of support. This disrupts development and affects susceptibility to anxiety.
So, one reason for the inability to control anxiety is improper development and childhood trauma. Another is the lack of realization of emotions already in adulthood. You can show love for your family, loved ones, and those around you in general. Create emotional connections, give people a good mood, love and care, share warmth. And you can demand love for yourself, throw tantrums and be afraid of everything in the world. In the second case, when concentrating on ourselves, we are more prone to excitement. We are more concerned about how we look in the eyes of others, how we will be received. The fear that they will not understand, ridiculed, morally eaten, increases. Excessive anxiety appears.
When we are focused on ourselves, we lose our rational perception of the situation. We overestimate the significance of the event in which we participate and the significance of our role. So you can come to a state of social phobia, fear of people, which is the opposite of love for people. Fear is about yourself, love is about others.
There are individual shades that give the excitement different shapes. The character of a person is multifaceted, and problems with other innate properties of the human psyche - vectors, can be applied to problems in the visual vector.
A good memory, attention to detail and a desire to bring any business to the ideal are all valuable properties of a person with an anal vector. But these same properties play a cruel joke with him in the event of a bad experience. A person remembers his failure in details and details and scrolls with pain in his head, wanting to correct the past. And each subsequent similar situation adds fuel to the fire of excitement.
The consequence of improper upbringing of a child with an anal vector may be low self-esteem, excessive perfectionism, fear of not living up to someone's expectations, fear of not meeting, fear of criticism. And now, after another unsuccessful attempt, doubts, uncertainty, fear of disgrace appear, and the trap slams shut. How to cope with anxiety and overcome fear if you are afraid to start something, to do something new? The psychological trap deprives us of freedom of choice, leaving only fear and intense excitement when trying to change something.
Manifestations of excitement
Manifestations of excitement depend on what vectors are present in the human psyche.
In the visual vector, they can be very bright. Emotionality, artistry, expression of a visual person are also manifested at the moment of intense excitement. He infects others with his excitement, draws them into his experiences, seeks to grab attention at any cost.
Excitement in the visual vector can manifest itself as a panic attack, paralyzing fear, an emotional buildup from euphoria to tears, hysteria, excessive talkativeness, a strong exaggeration of the real consequences. People around you quickly get tired of such emotions and over time begin to avoid such a person.
Moving facial expressions, rapid breathing, internal tension, anxiety, words inappropriately, silly jokes, excessively loud laughter, unnecessary movements, inability to think logically - this is how people with a visual vector manifest themselves when worried. In such a state, it is no longer possible to rationally think about how to cope with intense anxiety. This condition is uncontrollable.
A person who has the properties of an anal vector in his psyche manifests himself in a completely different way. An unusual situation, quick changes to which you need to react, can lead to a stupor. Confusion, slurred speech, and even stuttering may appear. An excellent memory captures bad events and failures as well as good ones. Negative memories overlap and amplify the already intense excitement. I want to avoid or postpone an exciting situation. So we postpone a serious conversation, a new project, recognition of our feelings. We procrastinate in fashionable terms.
A person with a skin vector knows how to deal with anxiety quickly. Congenital quickness of reaction, quick mobilization of forces, passion. Any unforeseen circumstance is perceived as an opportunity, as a challenge, in order to become more productive and surpass oneself.
But in the same vector there may be other manifestations. If a person with a skin vector begins to flicker, drop objects, touch corners, drum with his fingers, swing or tap his foot - all this indicates stress. He will be worried in case of a threat of loss of his values: social status and money, when you can lose what you have achieved or not achieve what you want.
What won't help
- Fight anxiety with an effort of will and self-talk, because emotion is born not in consciousness, but in the unconscious and does not obey the control of the mind.
- To apply the attitude to “love yourself”, because we love and justify ourselves anyway, the problem is different - we do not know ourselves.
- Laugh and relieve stress. Laughter will relax, but it will deprive you of concentration on the problem, it will not help you to understand the causes of anxiety. Then it will only get worse.
- Present the interlocutor in a humiliating situation, place, sight. The interlocutor is not the reason for your excitement, the reason is within you.
What will help
- Realize the fact that there is excitement. Do not deny, do not turn away from the problem. Analysis always starts with collecting information. In what situations is intense excitement manifested? Or maybe in the same situation we are either worried or not? What does it depend on?
- Take control of your excitement. How?
We do not understand something in ourselves, and the excitement just shows us this. How to quickly deal with anxiety without understanding yourself? You can, as an option, avoid participating in an exciting situation, but next time it will be the same. Efforts will be required to correctly realize their properties, to what extent they are realized, psychological trauma experienced, past experience.
It is important for us to understand why we are so sensitive, which makes us more sensitive than others. It is important to learn the skill to show feelings and realize your properties in the right way. Recall situations where we were punished for showing feelings or laughed at our feelings. Or to see that everyone makes mistakes, but some immediately forget and do not worry about it, while others remember all their lives and in a similar situation can be very worried precisely because of a mistake in the past. Understand why and how to rewrite past experiences.
This is the beginning of the path in understanding yourself. And only awareness of their properties leads to the right actions. This is what Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology" offers - to understand your properties and, starting from a new understanding, to change your life. Unconscious negative programs lose their influence over us the moment we become aware of them. This is the process that leads to liberation.
Read one of the thousands of post-training reviews:
How to deal with anxiety quickly
Depending on properties and treatment. After all, high blood pressure is not treated with penicillin. In the case of great emotionality of the visual vector, the recipe is as follows:
- Try to forget about yourself at least for a while. Courage is about caring for others, not taking care of yourself. Solving the problems of others, we get rid of our fear and strong anxiety.
- To realize the property of the visual vector to exaggerate everything, to make an elephant out of a fly and try to reduce the significance of the situation. No, do not devalue what we do, because what we do is very important to us, it is our choice. Just to understand that even if we fail today, the sun will not go out. It is not a matter of life and death. There are people around whom we love, relatives, friends. They will continue to love us, even if we fail some report or we fail the exam. And there is always a chance to correct a mistake.
- Take a break from worrying about your excitement and show your emotions elsewhere. Watch your favorite movie or maybe something new with your favorite actor. Take a walk, enjoy nature, call your friends, sit with them in a cozy cafe over a delicious latte.
- Find a place where you can on an ongoing basis realize your emotions and feelings, a social circle of interests: theatrical circle, singing in the choir, music lessons with family concerts and more concerts. Share your feelings. This makes it more resistant to stressful situations.
It can be difficult to follow advice, because the unconscious is stronger than conscious decisions. After completing the training "System-Vector Psychology" and the received awareness of its nature, the situation changes as if by itself. Read one of the reviews:
Sensitivity and impatience are different properties. For the owners of the skin vector, those who drum with their fingers, impatiently walk from corner to corner, swing a leg or otherwise show impatience, the recipe is different:
- Going into action relieves the anxiety. Exciting before the start of the competition, and when it started, there was no time to think about it.
- A real deliberate assessment of the situation. Weighted calculation of all risks and the search for alternative solutions. For example, instead of worrying about whether there will be enough money before the paycheck, it is better to sit down, calculate, estimate the budget, sort it out in piles and … calm down.
- Exercise relieves the severity of symptoms in a mobile person with a skin vector, but since this does not affect psychological reasons in any way, they cannot completely solve the problems associated with strong excitement. This is just an ambulance option.
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And for the owners of the anal vector, those who like to sigh heavily in agonizing anticipation, the recipe is as follows:
- Good knowledge of the subject.
- Plan of forthcoming actions.
- Improvised means (demonstration).
- Careful preparation and rehearsal.
- Analysis of the positive and negative experiences of other people. Everyone is wrong, but others do not attach so much importance to it.
- The muscle spasm that occurs with this type of excitement can be relieved by stretching. But again, this is an ambulance method.
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How to deal with anxiety and overcome fear
By understanding ourselves deeper, we can choose the business that we like. When we do what we love, we feel our value among other people. This makes it easier for us to deal with our fears and worries:
There are many situations and conditions for the manifestation of anxiety and fear. To be ready for any turn of events, you need to increase your overall resistance to stress. The training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan strengthens our ability well. We begin to better understand ourselves and others. We can predict the expected reaction of others and our own. We consciously begin to approach possible options and complications, we can avoid them:
