I do not want anything. Depression as a chance for a new life
What are you celebrating, gentlemen? End of the world? It seems to you that you are living, but you are just slowly and surely walking towards the end. You can't eat that much. You will burst someday. This whole world will burst someday, and then I will rejoice, because there is no sense in it …
Therefore, a person must remember
that the beginning of the sensation of the highest is precisely
in the sensation of spiritual emptiness
I hate this world steeped in consumption. Laughing faces on advertising posters, store shelves sagging under the weight of goods. Abundance … Paradise on earth has finally arrived. Not for me. I am sick of these people who see the meaning of life in consuming. I just start to shake when I step on these polished floors, which reflect the bustle of the people. I am blinded by this sparkling light and killed by the noise of the incessant celebration.
What are you celebrating, gentlemen? End of the world? It seems to you that you are living, but you are just slowly and surely walking towards the end. You can't eat that much. You will burst someday. This whole world will burst someday, and then I will rejoice, because there is no point in it.
Am I living?
In the meantime, every morning I hardly tear my body off the bed and put it in order: mine, comb, feed. God, how hard it is to take care of this body, trying to bring it to some generally accepted standard. All the same, every day I fit into my usual and worn out jeans and a sweater (what difference does it make how I look?) And plunge into the streams of sleepy people who give themselves up to the slaughter of socially useful labor.
It's so impossible to be in this that I don't want to hear. In the ears - headphones and music. It's easier this way to isolate yourself from the world and immerse yourself in yourself. What is there? Emptiness … I don't want anything … I don't want to work. I don’t want a new dress. Traveling does not feel like it is the same everywhere. A faceless working mass, not burdened by any thought. Excess beauty and again a feast for the belly.
I do not want love, because there is none. At least I don't know what it is. I never felt it. Maybe love is the hearts that these eternally cheerful and talkative people draw on the sweaty glass?.. They constantly cram into my friends … Or these somersaults in bed, which are called sex, when one body rubs against another? How primitive. Love is to dissolve in another, to become one with him. Which of them is capable of this? Here I am too …
The day drags on on one note. There is no inspiration, no craving for exploits. Only sometimes, when it is possible to use the thought especially actively, I lose my sense of myself, the thread of an incessant internal dialogue and experience several minutes-hours of temporary relief. Then a bang - and I landed again. Hello body! Hello depression! God, when is it home?
It's good at home: it's quiet and no one is there. You can finally relax. A couple of hours of internet (and here the melancholy …) and sleep. Most of all I love to sleep. I don't exist then. Rather, there is no constant painful background on which my whole life passes. Sleep is a respite from suffering. From what? I don't know … My soul just hurts and aches. He wants something that is not in this world. I know for sure that not, because I have already tried everything. And if I didn't manage to do something, I just know: it's not worth it!
Am I living or am I having a bad dream that I am living? Needless to say, I know this is an illusion. Life doesn't have to be like this. And what should it be? What is there, beyond the threshold of this small world? I don't believe there is nothing there. I know there's something in there, otherwise it doesn't make sense. You just need to understand …
Depression is the threshold beyond which …
According to Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology, only one type of people experiences true depression. These are people with a sound vector. They are given immaterial desires - to know what is beyond the boundaries of the physical world, the metaphysical world. This is not a universal cosmos with its mysterious nebulae and black holes. This is a world, for the sake of knowing which you do not need to overcome millions of light years. He is here, next to us, within us. This is the world of the human soul, psychic, unconscious.
Even the most severe black depression lasts exactly as long as a person with a sound vector needs to be aware of this desire. He wants to know himself and another person. He wants to know the connection that connects these substances invisible to the eye, which are called souls. He always unconsciously strives only for this and suffers only from the fact that he does not have the tool to do it.
But now there is … This is systemic knowledge about man, about eight vectors of the general human unconscious or the psyche of the species. This is the delight of revealing the hidden. This is the acquisition of the integrity of the world in all its interconnections. It is an opportunity to finally merge with the root cause.
Before the discoveries of Systemic Vector Psychology, this was impossible. But everything comes in due time. Sound depression reaches its peak in the modern world. It is she who pushes people with a sound vector into drug use, suicide and terrorism. Desires are too strong. It is impossible to endure the pain of your inadequacy to the world. The time has come to give people this knowledge in order to make the greatest breakthrough into the unknown, into the most important thing - into the depths of oneself, into the unconscious.
Congratulations, you are depressed
Depression is a terrible condition that is often incompatible with life. But now she is not a dead end or despair. She is an indicator of a person's readiness for a new round of his development. She is a springboard for completely new states, in which pleasure is many times greater than all earthly joys.
When nothing else pleases you, it's time to turn to the realization of your mission - to think, to concentrate thought in the knowledge of another person. And after that - only at the lecture on System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register here.