How to get out of depression after breaking up with a loved one
When the light converges like a wedge on one person, and the relationship with him is broken, no amount of logic will help to survive this. Feelings of emptiness cannot be drowned out. This state, as if a part of you is torn off, does not allow you to live. The world grows dim. Life ceases to please. Nothing that once gave pleasure is no longer attractive …
Not together … not a couple anymore.
Lines from a famous song hit the heart.
Perhaps this was not unexpected. Perhaps there were preconditions, premonitions, or even a long, anxious wait. Or maybe everything really happened so suddenly that this fall from heaven to hard, cold earth was a heavy blow.
Now it doesn't matter at all how it was. The main thing is how it is now.
And now … now, there is pain in my heart, a lump in my throat, an emptiness in my head. And it's also good if already in this emptiness the question began to be heard: how to deal with depression after breaking up. A start. The process has started.
The hope that time heals is not always justified.
Sometimes getting out of depression after a breakup can take years. The pain may subside, the memories fade. But the world around, most likely, will not return to its former colors. And the heart can remain closed to new love.
The closest ones, with the best intentions, try to level the problem. They, completely not understanding how to overcome depression after breaking up, so easily rush with advice:
- Go to the club, relax …
- You can find better. He / she is not ideal.
But what difference does that make? You know better than anyone else all the shortcomings of someone with whom you are "no longer a couple." There is better, smarter, more beautiful, more successful. But what's the difference? If no one else is simply needed … If there is one question in my head Why did he leave / did she leave? How to deal with depression after a breakup?
How to overcome depression after breakup or why we don't need others?
When the light converges like a wedge on one person, and the relationship with him is broken, no amount of logic will help to survive this. Feelings of emptiness cannot be drowned out. This state, as if a part of you is torn off, does not allow you to live. The world grows dim. Life ceases to please. Nothing that was once enjoyable is no longer attractive.
Why is this happening?
No, not because you were two halves of one whole. The stories about the halves are a beautiful, romantic myth.
It's just that with parting, an emotional connection with a person is broken. What nourished us gave us joy and the feeling that we are not alone in this world. And then, at one point, we lose it. It’s hard … It’s hard to suddenly feel lonely again in an instant. In a cold and unfriendly world And even if you are surrounded by crowds of friends and family people, they will not be able to drown out the feelings of emptiness or suggest how to get rid of depression when parting. Because there was no such connection with any of them. The thread that connected you with your loved one breaks, and all vitality flows through its broken end.
Of course, now you cannot even mentally admit that someday someone will be able to become as close to you as the one who left. Because with him you have created an emotional closeness. You felt him, and he felt you, you shared with each other what was dear to you.
Many things connected you. Shared plans, shared moments of joy and sadness. Common hopes and experiences. And the more this “common”, the stronger the emotional connection. The more painful it is to tear it apart.
What happens next depends on many factors.
From your psychological characteristics, from internal states, from the strength of a broken emotional connection, from the strength of rationalization.
There are people for whom the past is always a priority over the future and the present. They feel the high value of the past and in their feelings everything that was in the past seems to be more important and significant than what is happening now. They also have a sense of the great value of the first experience. Their psyche is rigid, it is difficult to accept changes, especially with regard to changes in their personal life. Their sense of the value of the relationship is very high. They have a hard time getting closer to the opposite sex, and it is also difficult for them to part.
There are people who, due to insufficient development of the properties of their visual vector, fall into emotional dependence. By doing this, they remove their inner, unconscious fears. In their feelings, breaking such a relationship is the end of the world.
And any person who has managed to create a strong emotional connection finds it hard to come to terms with its break.
Nevertheless, there is an answer to the question: how to get rid of depression after breaking up. To get out of depression after parting quickly and painlessly, leaving only pleasant memories of a past relationship, one thing will help - awareness. The awareness that the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan gives us.
How does this happen?
During the training, you realize how an emotional connection with a person is created, and why it was you and with this person who managed to create it.
There are certain laws of nature by which we all live. So, people are attracted to each other according to the equality of their internal states. Being in a similar state, we feel a kindred spirit, unconsciously feel that we have something in common. And not understanding, not being able to see what we feel “common”, we endow it with an esoteric meaning. We begin to perceive the meeting with this person - a message from heaven. Although in fact there are many like him around, it is just that he was at the right time in the right place. It was when you were ready to open up for a relationship.
By revealing for yourself all the secrets of the subconscious during the training, you get an understanding of how relationships are built, and why you failed to create them. To meet a person who is equal in state and suitable for us in terms of mental properties is half the battle. You still need to be able to build a relationship with him. Find mutual understanding. Learn to trust each other, thereby creating a strong intimate relationship.
At the training of Yuri Burlan, you will realize what exactly you need from a relationship and how to get it. After all, everyone expects something different from the relationship. Someone wants to get the maximum of emotions from them, someone special, spiritual states, someone calmness, comfort. We often do not understand ourselves what we want. And then we begin to blame our partner for our dissatisfaction, to demand from him, without knowing what. At the same time, we do not understand his needs and capabilities, so we ourselves cannot give him a full sense of happiness. Often this becomes the cause of conflict and discord. A lot of people who have had various relationship problems write about their results after completing the training.
When we understand a loved one, it is incomparably easier for us to build relationships. And if he leaves, it's easier for you to let him go. Along with the awareness of the pitfalls of your relationship, the answer will come to the question: how not to get depressed after breaking up. Listen to what Svetlana, a participant in the training on system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, who came to the training with the question of how to get out of depression after breaking up:
Do you want to bring paints back into your life? To open your heart to new feelings and to remember old relationships not with an oppressive feeling of pain in your chest, but with tenderness and gratitude for those pleasant moments that you had? Then sign up for free introductory lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan at the link.
