Parting with a loved one: loss or morning of a new life?
Parting with a loved one is unbearably painful. It's as if a piece of your soul is being pulled out of you with meat, as if you died. And I want to cry, sob, moan … Parting is always difficult, but this does not mean that life stops and loses its meaning.
Do you know what I felt when I realized that I would never see her again in my life? If you have ever attended a funeral of close relatives, then you probably felt something similar … They say that the worst thing is to hear the clatter of nails being driven into the coffin lid. But the worst thing is when the coffin is lowered into the grave and begins to be buried. At this moment you understand that this is the very “everything”: you will no longer see a person, you will not hear his laughter, you will not smell his smell … And despair sets in. I want to rush, I want to stop everyone, try to return everything, but you understand that you cannot turn back time. This is exactly what I felt when she told me that it was no longer worth writing and that I should not hope for something that I would leave her alone once and for all, forget about her … I feel like someone very close has died,and I don't want to live anymore …
Parting with a loved one is unbearably painful. It's as if a piece of your soul is being pulled out of you with meat, as if you died. And you want to cry, sob, groan … And do whatever you want to muffle this pain growing to cosmic proportions. But it only surrenders itself more strongly to your heart, and nothing can comfort you, nothing can help you cope with the loss. This is a terrible word "never".
Life is such an unpredictable thing in which you never know in advance where you will find and where you will lose. There are meetings and losses here. People find each other, fall in love. But it often happens that the course of life does not obey our desires. Parting with loved ones is inevitable. And we are not talking about temporary separation, but about the one that is forever, irrevocably. About that moment when a person makes you understand that you are not on the way with him. When all good things suddenly end, it ends. It is not for nothing that a very famous song is sung: "Parting is a little death."
Pain, suffering is inevitable. Loss is hard for everyone, especially when it comes to people with visual and anal vectors.
The owners of the visual vector stick to many people around them with all their hearts. Emotional connections are very important for them: parents, friends, teacher or even a dentist! What can we say about a loved one? When a spectator is in love, he tries to completely and completely surrender to his soul mate: he dissolves in him so that he forgets himself from an excess of feelings. This is especially true for people with "injuries" in the visual vector. Love is both the highest blessing for us and a great misfortune. After all, when our emotional connection is interrupted, that very “little death” occurs: the source of our happiness, our inspiration, our boundless care and love leaves us. We, surrendered to the feeling wholly and completely, feel empty, alone.
Love for a person with a visual vector is the meaning of all life. Needless to say that the loss of a loved one is an intolerable trauma and a source of burning heart melancholy? And it can be repeated a million times that the light did not come together like a wedge on this person, that there are many others around, no less worthy … but for some reason the pain does not go anywhere. It remains in the heart, forcing the viewer to plunge into the abyss of despair.
The compassionate ability of a developed visual vector often helps such people to stay afloat, even in times of great breakups.
People with an anal vector also have a hard time breaking up. After all, the owners of the anal vector are monogamous and faithful both in love and friendship. Especially for the carrier of this vector, the first relationships are valuable. This feature is also associated with the aspiration of such a person into the past, with a certain idealization of what “was” in comparison with what is “now”. The representative of the anal vector will remember his first love for the rest of his life. Such a feature can prevent such a person from building a relationship with a new partner: he will constantly remember the past, compare the new love with the old one, and, of course, the second will always lose to the first.
For a person with an anal vector, family is very important, it is to her that he devotes all his energy and time. The owner of the anal vector does not have many friends, but it is he who knows what real friendship is. The loss of a loved one destroys the whole familiar world of such a person.
They don't need anyone except the one who was there. Therefore, people with an anal vector often try to return a broken relationship, begin to persecute a former partner: to seek meetings from him, beg for forgiveness and pray for return. In most cases, alas, all these efforts are unsuccessful.
People who have both anal and visual vectors, you guessed it, experience the loss of a loved one the hardest. Almost every one of us is familiar with the gamut of emotions that overwhelms such a person when parting.
How to survive the loss, parting? First of all, it is important that the first time someone is with you. The reaction to loss sometimes comes much later, it takes time to realize what happened. Emotional support from loved ones is the best thing to help you cope with separation and loss.
There are a few simple things to keep in mind to help you cope with the loss of a loved one.
- Pour out emotions. When we, the owners of the visual vector, find it difficult, we often need to speak out, share our emotions with loved ones. There are other ways, for example, you can spill your experiences on paper. It can be poetry, or it can be a simple diary. The writing form is ideal for people with ano-visual vector ligament. When you do not accumulate emotions bursting with you from within, but allow them to appear on the pages of your diary, then you feel an unprecedented relief.
- Don't feel sorry for yourself. Very often, banal self-pity prevents us from going through parting with a loved one. People with a visual vector empathize with themselves, thereby becoming locked in their own experiences. Every time we begin to feel sorry for ourselves, we multiply all our longing and pain. “How unhappy I am, how unlucky I am …” All this leads nowhere: the more you focus on your own pain, the more powerful it echoes in you. In this situation, it will help to get out of the vicious circle by switching from feeling for oneself to a loved one to empathy and compassion for other people. Find someone who is harder than you and connect with them emotionally. Help the other person get out of his trouble, and you yourself will not notice how your pain and melancholy will let you go.
- Don't lock yourself up. Some people with anal and visual vectors, after parting, lock in themselves, break all possible connections, stop communicating with anyone. It is not so rare that the owners of the anal-visual ligament of vectors, burned by love, can say: "Since love brings such pain, I will never love anyone else," thereby locking their heart … In fact, there is nothing behind these words other than a feeling of resentment, which, as system-vector psychology shows, is a refusal to adapt to the landscape, a stop of life. You punish yourself with an offense. If you feel that you are immersed in this feeling and cannot move, then take at least free classes on the anal vector - many people testify that after these classes it became much easier for them.
- There is no need to compare the new partner with the old one and look for a replacement for him, demand the same behavior from the new one as from the old one. Such desires are also characteristic of the owners of the anal vector. Sometimes they spend their whole lives in search of the same partner, and each new one inevitably loses in comparison with the one who was the first - this is a feature of the worldview of people with an anal vector. It is also easy to cope with this by realizing the nature of such a desire, such states. You can make room for new love by ceasing to keep the experience of old love in your life and freeing yourself from the burden of resentment. Only then does an extremely productive feeling of gratitude appear in the mind of a person: thanks to what was, precisely for what it was.
When we realize our nature, our reactions, it is easier for us to let go of a person, it is easier to understand the one who was so dear to us, and it is easier to understand ourselves. Parting is always difficult, but this does not mean that life stops and loses its meaning. You need to go through this period and find the strength in yourself to open a new page of life, brighter and happier.
