Feelings of resentment and injustice: how to throw a stone from the soul and learn to forgive
It seems to us that the feeling of resentment is familiar to everyone. So, another person could put himself in your place and think a hundred times before behaving in a certain way, right? In fact, resentment is not familiar to everyone.
Heavy on the heart, disgusting. A conversation with a friend left a bitter aftertaste: a feeling of resentment and annoyance, thoughts constantly revolve around her words. Neither forget nor throw it out of my head. I can't even sleep. And at least she could not remember in half an hour what they were quarreling about!
Why is that? Someone switched to their own business and went on. And the feeling of resentment does not allow me to let go of the situation for months. Anger and vexation because she doesn't give a damn how much she hurt me! How to deal with your emotions, how to stop replaying our conversation over and over? To understand where this resentment comes from and how to get rid of the resentment?
The Psychology of Resentment: The Secret Springs of Our Emotions
It seems to us that the feeling of resentment is familiar to everyone. So, another person could put himself in your place and think a hundred times before behaving in a certain way, right? In fact, resentment is not familiar to everyone. Feelings and emotions of people depend on those innate features of the psyche that nature endows us with.
It turned out that my nimble and nimble friend with a skin vector had no idea that people could be seriously offended. Her psyche is flexible, mobile, capable of instantly switching from one to another. Such people, even having experienced irritation and anger, after a couple of minutes no longer remember the quarrel. And it is useless to try to measure it "by yourself" - it is completely different.
Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology helps to see another person not through himself, but as he is.
But this is just the beginning. Since we are all so different, then why does the feeling of resentment arise in me? It is not clear how to deal with your resentment. Is it possible to overcome it at all, learn to forgive and live with ease?
Severe resentment - who is its carrier
We, people for whom a constant feeling of resentment seriously spoils life, in the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan are defined as carriers of the anal vector. By nature, we are slow and attentive to details, we approach everything carefully and thoroughly. We tend to be resentful for a variety of reasons. Below are some of them:
- Our psyche is rigid, does not have the same switchability as the owners of the skin vector. On the contrary, it tends to "get stuck" on the same thing. This brings us benefits in our work: by concentrating for hours on our business, we become high-class professionals. And if there was a feeling of resentment and injustice towards you? Thoughts in the same way “play” the painful situation for hours.
- Nature has endowed us with a phenomenal memory. We are able to remember what happened many years ago with precision down to the smallest detail. We know how to be grateful and remember for years all the good things that people have done for us. Alas, we also remember all the bad things. Therefore, the feeling of resentment can live in our hearts for many years. And I would be glad to forget - but memory does not.
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The values of equality are attractive to us. "Bread a hump - and that in half!". That is, equally. If a person has done something good, he needs to respond in kind, “level out” the situation. What if you did something bad? There is a desire to respond in kind, to take revenge. Feelings of resentment and guilt live in us as "two in one". I have harmed something or not given something to another - regret and guilt arise. And the insult is when they did not give me enough or hurt me.
Sometimes the owners of the anal vector are even accused of manipulating feelings of resentment and guilt. But more often than not, we live in unconscious sensations, which without understanding the psychology of resentment, we simply cannot overcome.
Stages of Resentment Formation
How and why does resentment arise? Usually, the owners of the anal vector first encounter this in childhood. Family, relatives and friends, and especially the mother are the main values for such a person. It is in the family that the deep roots of the fact that we were "not given something" or "cheated" in something often lie.
With a favorable development in childhood and successful implementation in adulthood, we are more inclined to remember the good, to be grateful. But in a state of stress or lack of constructive use of its natural properties, resentment becomes our obsessive companion. Severe resentment can manifest itself at different levels:
- Resentment against a specific person. For example, a close friend betrayed me - how can I survive if friendship is of great value to me? It is not clear to me how he could have lied in my eyes so frankly - after all, I myself am naturally incapable of lying.
- Resentment against a group of people. We tend to generalize our bad experience, so if my wife cheated on me, then “all the women …”. I substituted a skin friend in a common business - and now all these businessmen-entrepreneurs cause dislike and irritation in me.
- Resentment for life, for the world. They did not recognize my merits, they did not give me respect and honor. Received less from everyone and everything. And in general, all life is down the drain. Where is the world heading?
- Resentment against God. Apparently, he has a personal dislike for me. Others live normally. And it is as if a higher power is deliberately mocking me. Such resentment can arise only if there is also a sound vector.
Neither meditation nor a sense of humor helps to consciously deal with resentment and overcome it. As well as assorted techniques such as "letters to the husband", girlfriend and other offenders. This is not surprising - the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that we are not able to control our unconscious with the help of rational thoughts.
Meanwhile, resentment seriously distorts the entire life scenario of a person, does not allow to live happily. Over the years, grievances erode the body, leading a person to psychosomatics. What to do, how to learn to forgive?
How to get rid of feelings of resentment
The only way to cope with resentment is to understand in detail all the hidden mechanisms of the psyche that govern the emergence and development of this feeling. The structure of our psyche, which yesterday was a secret behind seven seals, is now fully disclosed in the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, thousands of results testify to this:
By realizing the mechanism of resentment, you get rid of not only negative feelings and emotions. Along with the resentment, a lot of psychosomatic problems go away, which the owners of the anal vector suffer from (digestive disorders, excess weight, heart problems):
You can try for yourself what life without offense tastes like at the free online training on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register using the link.
