Drinking parents. What to do if all else fails
If parents drink, then the question "What to do?" does not arise immediately. At first everything looks quite harmless. A mug of beer after a bath. Picnic with friends in nature - barbecue and vodka. This habit sits very deeply and imperceptibly in us. People who refuse to drink look strange and out of touch with the collective. How to proceed, we choose ourselves. And then we live with this choice. The personal attitude to the fact that parents kill themselves depends on who we are. Knowing your psychological structure helps to understand this …
It's hard when our beloved parents kill themselves with alcohol. I really want them to stop doing it. But how? They don't listen. Any persuasion, prohibitions and scandals, promises to quit give nothing. Every effort has been spent trying to take away this damn bottle, the contents of which are inexorably destroying the people we love.
Drinking parents force their children to look for an answer to the question "What to do?" … And if we cannot persuade and force them to stop drinking, then the only thing that remains for us is to understand the reasons why they behave this way. And having dealt with the reasons, once again try to solve this problem.
With the help of the knowledge gained at the training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology", you can see what is most often hidden from everyone and try to help your loved ones.
The reasons that are always with us
If parents drink, then the question "What to do?" does not arise immediately. At first everything looks quite harmless. A mug of beer after a bath. Picnic with friends in nature - barbecue and vodka. This habit sits very deeply and imperceptibly in us. People who refuse to drink look strange and out of touch with the collective. The Russian urethral-muscular mentality - collectivist and communal - forces us to behave in the same way as our environment. It's more difficult for us to refuse, to break away from the team. But this is not the reason for becoming alcoholics.
At first glance, it seems that the parents drink because the contents of the bottle have some kind of power over them. That it is exactly the cause. This is not true. The reason is in the person himself. And alcohol is only a means to achieve what is lacking, or to forget what otherwise cannot be forgotten. And sometimes it is a pain reliever for the unbearable pain inside. But there is a habituation process, and you have to increase the dose. Without solving the internal problem, it is impossible to quit drinking.
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Feelings of resentment are one of the reasons that deprives a person of joy in life. Resentment can be a very serious problem for a person whose psyche has an anal vector. It can be an imperceptible backdrop against which other circumstances are superimposed. The reasons for being offended can be very different. They take offense at God because fate did not work out. They take offense when a spouse betrays. They take offense at their mother because they didn't like them, they didn't give them enough. It turns out to be a psychological trap: the feeling of resentment presses like one hundred percent press, but we are unable to change the past.
- Respect for colleagues at work, thorough knowledge of the subject, transfer of experience to young people - all these are values for people with an anal vector. Realizing themselves in this direction, they feel very good. And even if they drink, it cannot replace the pleasure they get from their favorite work. When a job is lost, all the pleasure associated with it is lost. And then the balance shifts towards drinking in an attempt to get the missing feeling of satisfaction.
This happened en masse with the owners of the anal vector in the early 90s, after the collapse of the USSR, and led to numerous deaths, including those related to alcohol consumption. The collapse of hopes, guidelines and values, the loss of their place in life and confidence in the future were incompatible with life for many.
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Failed family relationships bring a lot of bitterness into our lives. Dissatisfaction with a sexual nature is another reason to seek salvation in alcohol, especially for those with an anal vector. Lack of emotions and feelings, mismatch in values and outlook on life, misunderstanding and betrayal - without understanding oneself and others, these problems in relationships cannot be solved. And alcohol just floods into an intolerable feeling of dissatisfaction. As a pain reliever.
The training "System-vector psychology" helps to get out of difficult life situations, get rid of resentments and the burden of disappointments, find the reasons for difficulties in pair relationships. But in order to start changing something, you need to understand the reason, or at least want to understand it. This is where the solution to this problem lies. It is impossible to force a person to do something against his own will. He must want it himself. And here the training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan helps to find an exact individual approach to your dear person.
Stay can't be quit
How to proceed, we choose ourselves. And then we live with this choice. The personal attitude to the fact that parents kill themselves depends on who we are. Knowing your psychological structure helps to understand this.
Often in such a situation you can hear advice: “Leave them, you will not do anything anyway. Live your life! Usually people with a skin vector say this, for whom family is not of paramount importance.
However, not everyone can do that. For example, the owners of the anal vector, patient and most attached to their parents, straining, often drag their problems all their lives. There is no happiness, but they cannot quit. If they leave, then the feeling of guilt can subsequently poison their whole life.
Visual people sincerely sympathize and empathize: the heart breaks to pieces when they see what their beloved parents are turning into. They are eager to help in any way.
If the connection between children and parents is preserved, then it is always difficult for children to survive this tragedy. And this connection makes them solve the problem. However, not understanding the reasons why parents drink, not understanding themselves, they themselves fall into the trap of suffering. What did not help, did not support, did not manage to stop in time. They are tormented by remorse, a sense of injustice and the meaninglessness of what is happening.
And yet there is an opportunity to help. Even if a loved one does not want to understand the reasons and change anything in your life, you can do a lot yourself. When you study system-vector psychology, you begin to understand the hidden mental processes and your state is aligned. You begin to understand the real reasons and inner states of the parents. And an island of trust appears between you, which can become the basis for further changes.
It even happens that after a person undergoes Yuri Burlan's training, his loved ones stop drinking. There are reviews of those who completed the training. Here is one of them:
Help before it's too late
In alcoholism there is a red line, crossing which, a drinker completely loses touch with the world and is no longer able to return to normal life. But if this line has not yet been passed, then the problem can still be solved. Come to the free online training "System Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan. Come alone or with your parents, if possible, to begin to understand the reasons, and then the answer to the question "What to do?" will not keep you waiting long.
