How to find friends: tips for those tired of being alone
It's good to be friends, but it hurts to experience betrayal. It's nice to have someone to share sadness and joy with, but it's not clear who you can trust. You want understanding, but you get loneliness … How can you find friends and what is the secret of good relations with other people?
Man is built in such a way that we can feel the fullness of happiness only when interacting with other people. And of course, we want to find someone close among the huge crowd. But it's not always clear how to find friends. How to find someone with whom you can share your most intimate? A truly close friend with whom your interests and hobbies coincide. And how to determine whether this person will be a reliable friend who is “into fire and into water” for you?
In fact, there are many people around. And not every one of us experiences difficulties in finding a friend. Let's figure out why exactly this causes certain difficulties for you. When the reasons are recognized and the obstacles hindering communication are worked out, the question of "how" is solved by itself.
Perhaps you are by nature a real homebody? And you have no particular desire to get out somewhere far from home? You choose your friends very carefully, their circle is not too wide. Usually these are one or two childhood friends with whom you know almost from kindergarten or first grades of school. According to the scientific knowledge of Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology, only special people are capable of such long-term devotion and loyalty to a friend - the owners of the anal vector.
The vector gives its bearer innate qualities, properties and aspirations, with which one does not need to fight or try to change oneself. The main thing is to realize them in yourself. Yes, making new friends is more difficult for you than for others. Because everything new is stressful. Much better than the old, time-tested, right?
A bad experience, for example, a betrayal of a friend, can inflict tremendous mental trauma on a person with an anal vector and for a long time lodge an insult in his heart. Then he is very suspicious of any new acquaintances in general.
Therefore, it is very important to learn to understand other people, to see their innate properties, in order to accurately understand the prospects of your friendship.
For an anal person, loyalty and dedication are important. And the best friend is just sacred. You are really capable of sacrificing a lot for him. But not every person is made like that.
For example, there are many people among us with a skin vector. They, on the contrary, easily create connections and break them with the same ease. The only criterion for a skin person is the benefit and benefit that he receives in your relationship. It is useless to expect from a skin friend that he will manifest himself the same way as you. He just has a different nature of the psyche.
Problems in finding a friend are experienced not only by carriers of the anal vector. For example, it is generally difficult for a person with a sound vector to establish contacts with people. Where to find friends when you yourself are slightly out of this world?
The soundman usually thinks that he is so alone in the whole wide world. From an early age, he asks non-childish questions about the structure of the universe and the plan for the existence of mankind. Indeed, representatives of the other seven vectors often cannot understand what, in general, a sound engineer does not live a normal life like the rest. Even under quite favorable conditions (there is a normal income, a happy family, etc.), he seems to be missing something all the time.
Deeply introverted by nature, focused on his thoughts, the sound engineer nevertheless unconsciously needs a close friend almost more than anyone else. Only the criteria for friendship with him are not at all in anal devotion or skin benefit.
The soundman longs to find a friend who will become his like-minded person. Share his unusual interests, his metaphysical aspirations for knowledge.
Usually, it is easier for sound people to find the same as themselves on the Internet, since they can hardly tolerate noisy companies. The worldwide network becomes their quiet outlet and a source of new acquaintances.
For some reason, everyone is running from me like from fire …
Do you think that only the above-described introverts have communication problems? Nothing like this.
For example, for owners of oral or visual vectors, the question of how to find new friends is rarely really asked. But another problem may well arise: how to keep the old ones? The fact is that when interacting with other people, not only the vector set of each of us is important, but also our inner state.
For example, a person with a visual vector, with the successful realization of his properties, has special empathy and compassion. Of course, people are drawn to such a person themselves.
With insufficient realization of his properties, the same visual person manifests himself as hysterics, emotional swings, or simply arranges emotional pressure for a friend, literally bringing down a flurry of his uncontrollable emotions on his head.
It is clear that not everyone is able to withstand this. And people rarely have a desire to maintain a relationship with such a friend for a long time.
Something similar can happen with the oral vector carrier. A developed oral speaker naturally becomes the center of attention of others: his speech is so attractive that the listeners themselves gather around him.
In case of insufficient realization of the innate properties, the oral, on the contrary, is perceived by others as a "windbag", from whose endless chatter one wants to escape.
The systemic worldview helps us not only to realize the innate properties, our own and other people. The training is a powerful study of unconscious causes that prevent us from realizing our innate properties in their entirety.
As a result, many people acquire the ability to live among other people joyfully and with pleasure. They are no longer concerned with finding a friend, this happens by itself, because regardless of the innate set of vectors, a person becomes attractive to others.
To learn to understand the world around you and make friends with it forever, register for free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan right now.
