The husband does not want intimacy with his wife: the reasons hidden behind his refusal
The husband has no sexual desire. You endure, but the tension builds up and turns into conflicts. This further alienates you from each other. It’s hard to believe that a healthy, young man can go without sex for so long. Maybe he is not saying something? What is really behind his refusal?
How many times have you hoped that your intimate life will get better. And she took measures: beautiful lingerie, special perfume, seductive hints. All to no avail: with a living husband you - a young, healthy, temperamental woman - have to live as a nun. They have already worn out furtive tears, and attempts to talk, and shame, and a nasty feeling of their own inferiority. It is not clear why your husband does not want intimacy with his wife, the reasons sound trite: tired, problems at work.
You endure, but the tension builds up and turns into conflicts. This further alienates you from each other. It’s hard to believe that a healthy, young man can go without sex for so long. Maybe he is not saying something? What is really behind his refusal?
How to find out why a husband does not want intimacy with his wife
Better to start by eliminating these options:
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Her husband's health problems. A man is not always ready to report this openly: a very calm and confidential conversation is needed.
- Changes in the wife's appearance. We try to show ourselves in all our glory before marriage, but in everyday family life it happens that a woman stops taking enough care of her appearance.
These are the reasons that lie on the surface. However, the modern world offers a man many ways to improve his health, and a woman a whole lot of ways to stay beautiful until a hundred years old. With all this, it often happens that the husband does not want a wife, although there seems to be no apparent reason for that. You are both young and healthy. You are beautiful, smart, wonderful hostess, you have even mastered strip plastic - but that doesn't work either. The husband has no sexual desire.
If this is your case, then almost certainly the cause of the problem is psychological. Let's look at several options for how and why it occurs.
Reason 1. Emotions in relationships have disappeared: where does passion go?
Attraction between a man and a woman is built on a binary basis:
Attraction in smells. We do not control this part of attraction - we are simply unconsciously attracted to a suitable partner through special body odors (pheromones). The attraction to smells is of an animal nature, its purpose is reproduction. Therefore, it does not last long: such an attraction is given to a couple for a maximum of 1-3 years in order to conceive and give birth to offspring.
The good news is that if you are attracted to each other once, then you really fit together. Do not doubt that the spark of attraction hidden from the eyes smolders in the soul of your man. The main thing is to know the secret of how to open this secret fire and re-ignite the flame of passion from it.
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Attraction plus an emotional connection. This is already the human nature of relationships: gradually you get closer, open up to each other with your soul. If this process goes on without hindrance, then at each turn, mutual sexual attraction is again aroused in both. Because strong feelings, deep feelings affect attraction too.
The good news is that it is from the woman that the emotional connection comes from the couple. With the knowledge of how to build it correctly, you can realize the main female task - to be always desirable for your beloved man.
Most women can easily maintain light flirting and mutual interest at the beginning of a relationship. But after a while, this is no longer enough. We go further, creating an ever deeper bond in the pair. If you are ready to trust your husband with the innermost secrets of your heart, then with every revelation the man flares up again. His desire to protect, provide and sexually possess the woman he loves is activated.
But it happens that you are able to open up to your partner with your soul only up to a certain limit. Further, for example, bad experience from past relationships interferes. Or fear that a loved one will condemn, repel. Any bad states (fears, depression, insecurity, resentment) betray themselves through the same pheromones - and without understanding why, the man loses his sexual desire.
As soon as a woman has an emotional, sensual clamp - a man reacts to it with a "clamp" of his sexual desire, cannot fully open up.
The good news is that systems psychoanalysis helps eliminate any psychological problems that prevent you from building happiness as a couple.
Reason 2. The husband does not want intimacy with his wife: maybe he just “doesn't need”?
The very nature of the male psyche is an attraction to a woman. But the strength of libido is different for everyone, it depends on the natural properties of your husband. Relatively low, balanced libido in men with a cutaneous psyche vector. Sexual need may arise less frequently than representatives of other vectors.
These are people who are ambitious, enterprising, mobile. They are by nature hunters and hunters. Therefore, such a man shows his maximum attraction at the stage of winning a partner. When he finally got the coveted prize and even put the stamp “Mine! Do not touch! - the strength of his sexual desire may subside.
The owners of the skin vector love the principle of novelty and change. When marriage becomes a routine, such a man tries to realize sexual fantasies associated with a change in the place where an intimate relationship takes place (he persuades you to try it in the kitchen, bathroom, etc.). He goes through the "Kamasutra", experimenting with poses. Such changes "in form" quickly drain themselves.
The sexual desire of a dermal man can be aroused again and again when he has a “new wife” in front of him every day - not in form, but in content. That is, a new you, which opens up to him new facets of himself, his soul, arousing his interest.
It is easy to pair up when an emotional connection is built without interference. And if you have fear or resentment at the bottom of your soul - how then?
At the same time, in a healthy man, the sexual need itself does not go anywhere. But he cannot open up with his wife: he is just as squeezed in his sexuality as she is in the ability to trust a man with his soul.
And now the first beacon: you found your husband watching porn or dubious correspondence with someone unknown. What's next? Just as it can be easier for a woman to build emotional ties with other people, for example, a girlfriend, so it can be easier for a skin man to realize his desire in a casual “one night” relationship, which does not oblige him to anything. What to do so that your pair does not have a “third extra”?
Reason 3. The husband does not want intimacy with his wife - maybe he has another?
If a husband does not want a wife, this does not necessarily mean that he has another. But there are factors that can push him to betrayal - it is important to know them and to neutralize the threat in time.
- If you trust your inner secrets not to your husband at all, but, for example, to your friend (sister, mother), there is a serious risk that the man will start looking for relationships on the side.
- The regular use of swear words in a pair devalues sexuality. Mat is permissible only in micro doses and only for the purpose of additional excitement in the matrimonial bedroom. For example, to remove certain clamps from a woman. But if swearing sounds like a swear word, it does a lot of damage.
The mechanism is as follows. A sensual connection emanates from a woman in a pair. Even if something goes wrong with you, but you still direct the opening of your heart to a man, then everything is in order. But if you pour out your soul, you go not to him, but to your friend, mother, then an emotional connection is built with them, and in a couple, emotional devastation arises. You no longer have a desire to discuss something with your husband: you poured out your soul on the side - and everything is in order. In this case, the man will still secretly seek a sensual connection from the woman - this is the secret fuel that inspires him to live and reach the top. If you do not want your husband to pour out his sexual desire on the side, then he should become the main confidant of all the secret places of your soul.
Swear words are always about the sexual. When we use them constantly as a threat or to describe something bad, unworthy, dirty, a problem arises. The husband does not want intimacy with his wife, and the reason may be that he simply cannot do with her what you just called swear words. This is not realized by man. Matom the very intercourse between you is devalued, denigrated, vulgarized - unconsciously.
The paradox is that with casual people we are more restrained in language than with loved ones. We try to show our best side, to be cultured. Therefore, if the mat has devalued your marital connection, then a man can fully realize his sexual activity in a casual relationship. To prevent this from happening, the mat must leave your family hearth forever.
Reason 4. The husband does not want a wife: all his free time is devoted to the computer. Is he addicted?
Special problems can arise in a couple where a man is endowed with a sound vector of the psyche. The desires and thoughts of such a person at some period of life can be completely cut off from the physical world. The desire of the sound engineer is to know the immaterial world. He wants to understand what he lives for, what his purpose is. Feels different from the rest.
It happens that even they are not aware of these hidden questions, but you clearly see that the husband is constantly walking around, somehow lost, with an extinct look. He is not interested in anything, he is always somewhere in his thoughts. Including the husband does not want intimacy between you: the needs of the body generally cease to touch him, he does not seem to feel them.
This is how latent depression manifests itself in the sound vector. And from her, the sound people often run away into virtual reality. There is no point in blaming the computer: the husband is trying to escape from himself, from his unresolved issues and does not realize what drives him.
But if a wife understands the psyche of a loved one, then she can help him get out of a depressive state and even inspire him so that he realizes his natural craving for knowing the structure of the world, finds his own destiny. When this desire is fulfilled, a desire awakens in the sound man, and sexual activity returns.
Reason 5. The husband does not want intimacy - are the problems at work to blame?
When a man doesn't want sex, he often attributes this to problems at work. In fact, unlike most women, for whom realization in the family is primary, a man first of all realizes himself in society.
So, when a husband does not want a wife, it is quite possible that he is really telling the truth: his head is completely occupied with problems in the work sphere.
The good news is that everything here is in our sensitive female hands. It is enough just to know exactly how the husband's psyche works, what exactly causes him stress, in order to help a loved one cope with problems.
The owner of the anal vector appreciates respect and honor from colleagues, and when this is not enough, he loses his peace of mind. Realizing this, a loving wife will find words to remind in time how he is respected and highly valued, for example, in the family. And his colleagues more than once spoke of him as the best professional in his field. It happens that such a balm for a man's wounds is already enough to restore balance.
The owner of the skin vector is usually stressed when he has problems in career advancement or in case of material losses. To persuade him that it "does not matter" to you is useless, this is how his psyche is arranged. But you can search together for new creative ideas to promote his company. Or simply offer him to leave for a while together, change something in the house - the principle of novelty brings pleasure to such a person.
A wife is the best psychotherapist for her own spouse if she understands him to the core.
But the main healing effect arises when you yourself experience good states and your soul sings. Miracles happen to her husband next to such a woman: his career is going uphill, he keeps stress at work easily. He always has enough strength to lead an active sex life and has a desire to embody the sexual fantasies of his beloved woman.
If the husband does not want a wife: what to do?
It is not for nothing that the woman was called the keeper of the hearth from ancient times. Today, the social realization of men and women is practically on a par, and we are no longer talking about the “hearth” where we cook borscht. Today, a woman is primarily the keeper of a man's spiritual fire.
Out of ignorance or because of your own mental pain (bad conditions), you can involuntarily blow out the flame that your husband was burning towards you at the very beginning. And then the man doesn't want sex. It hurts you, and you are even less ready to build a trusting connection with your soul. A vicious circle appears.
There is a way out of the impasse:
- Get knowledge about the psyche and get rid of any bad conditions that affect our lives.
- Learn everything about how the soul of a loved one works. Understand him like no one else in this world.
- Learn to maintain a man's spiritual fire. Then the husband is burning with a passionate desire to live and reach unprecedented heights, and your sex life in the married bedroom is full of the same fire.
All this knowledge can be obtained at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
