Raising children in a family: a stranger among friends
If parents are aware of the mental state of their child and know how to develop it from an archetypal animal into a realized person, the upbringing process will be an exciting game without losses. Upbringing at random or according to the principle of "how we were raised" can lead to dire consequences.
No matter how much they talk about the crisis of the family, family education of children is still preferred among other types of human education. It is in the family that the child receives the first experience of socialization, begins to understand the roles of people in society, tries to find his place in the human flock. In a family environment, a person learns cooperation and empathy, gets the first idea of the interdependence of each and every one. If parents are aware of the mental state of their child and know how to develop it from an archetypal animal into a realized person, the upbringing process will be an exciting game where there are no losers. Upbringing at random or according to the principle of "how we were raised" can lead to dire consequences.
Conscious upbringing of children in a family without self-deception, unfounded hopes and cruel disappointments is possible. A prerequisite for this is systemic thinking, which any caring parent or educator, regardless of basic education, age and gender, receives at Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology". The idea of the eight-dimensional mental matrix makes it possible to develop the baby in the only correct way, filling the true (vector) desires of the child.
Education as such is a system of conscious actions aimed at the development of vector personality traits.
Tyranny of love, or be happy for me
It’s a paradox, but it’s passionate love for your child that is increasingly becoming the reason for the breakdown of the life scenario of a person “loved” in childhood. The upbringing of children in a family in this case is characterized by:
- complete release of the child from any responsibility for his actions (“Dad knows better!”);
- traditional Russian guardianship of a child up to forty, until the parents grow decrepit ("What kind of wife are you here ?! Your mother is here!");
"Authoritarian rule", in which the child is obliged to blindly fulfill the parental will and fulfill the responsibilities assigned to him by his parents to achieve happiness ("It's time for you to get married, it's time for us to nurse our grandchildren!").
Natural love for children forces parents to raise and educate them, to share their experience. We see the role of parents in raising children to ensure that children do not repeat our mistakes, that they live better than us, happier. Each person, one way or another, perceives the world through the prism of his experience, his psychic, his personality. Here lies the main danger - the desire to educate a child in his own image and likeness, to create some kind of improved model of oneself to advance it into a more successful future. Dangerous mirages, the result of which can be a breakdown of a child's unique life scenario, which is completely different from the parents in a vector.
An objective factor is added to the subjective desire to protect the child from mistakes with his proven experience over the years - the rapid devaluation of this experience in the modern landscape. We have nothing to pass on to our children from hand to hand, they are born different from us, for different living conditions, to which we ourselves sometimes cannot fully adapt. This primarily concerns the parents, in whose mental vector matrix there is an anal vector. Systemic knowledge allows such parents to objectively assess their experience and avoid imposing their own grievances on life on their children, camouflaged as overprotection and authoritarianism (“I didn’t succeed, so my son or daughter should do it, give me what I have lost in life”).
There is another extreme. Skin parents, well adapted to the modern landscape, prefer to buy off their children with expensive gifts and pocket money, rather than raise them. Time is money, but there is no time for children. From infancy, the child is in the care of a nanny, a governess, and then an expensive (the best!) Educational institution. Such a child is an orphan with living parents, he gets used to receiving without seeking, which means he will never become an active breadwinner like his parents, remaining an apathetic lazy primate with exorbitant demands and inevitable disappointments. Despite the seeming abundance around the child, his true (vector) desires are not fulfilled, the development of the personality, despite the invested funds, does not occur.
Without going to extremes, it should be recognized that more often than not, parents sincerely do not know how to raise their children. Not having in his psychic properties equal to those of a child, it was impossible to properly educate him until recently. Sociable, active, cheerful and talkative skin-oral mother of a sound child, how do you understand that the baby needs silence and loneliness, that they are vital for him, and you throw him into madness with your cry? Honestly working for 20 years in one place, the dad of a skin boy, how can you not pull out a thief with a strap and realize that the consequences of your upbringing can be much worse than a small change stolen in a school locker room?
Recently, the possibility of "losing one's temper" (in a good way) exists. Systemic knowledge completely revises the psychology of parent-child relationships, based on the structure of the mental unconscious. During the training, parents receive detailed information about the properties of each vector and the laws of their development, implementation and mutual influence in the eight-dimensional mental matrix. The upbringing of even the most contradictory in the properties of a child turns into an exciting game according to the laws of nature.
"Indigo children" under the bedrock of traditional parenting
The role of parents in raising children in the modern landscape is completely different than it was even 30 years ago. A complete change of landmarks takes place in a time two to three times shorter than the life of one generation. The need for an adequate response to the demands of the time is crazy. Nature meets these requirements by pushing into the world children with unique mental properties. They are given previously unheard-of opportunities for understanding the world, they are rapidly mastering information, before the volume and complexity of which older generations give in. "Indigo children" are called adults who do not understand what is happening.
By the age of three, a modern child already uses a computer, in primary school he makes a presentation-presentation on relevant topics, for example, "Creating a moving model" on the subject "Robotics", in secondary school these children are happy to participate in the international CERN project. Prodigies? - Not. Ordinary children of their time. How to educate them, having in their mental "outdated" model of the past generation? The role of parents in the upbringing of modern children can be truly understood only through the prism of systems thinking. To see, understand the eight-dimensional volume of the child's psyche and, on the basis of this understanding, build an algorithm for the development of only this vector set according to the optimal scenario is the task of a modern parent-educator.
The time when parents rewarded the child with their invaluable experience like a rolling pennant is over. Today, all that parents can and should give a child is the ability to adapt to a rapidly growing complex landscape. Even if they themselves do not possess such properties, it is now possible to do it. This is taught at the trainings of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology". The role of the family in the upbringing of a child is not diminishing, but now the family faces other educational tasks, to be at the level of which is a condition for the successful upbringing of children in a family.
Catch up to puberty
By creating certain conditions for raising children in a family, it is the parents who decide whether their children will develop in accordance with their natural predestination. Some choose non-intervention, limiting themselves to feeding, which leads to mental underdevelopment, a failure in the archetype and, ultimately, to a negative ending. The requirements of our contemporary reality are so high that we can survive while remaining at the animal level, i.e. in the archetype, impossible.
Nature gives us multi-vector children, which did not exist before. Raising children is more and more difficult. Already in early childhood, upper vectors (primarily sound and visual) are noticeable, and many well-meaning parents try to develop them in a child from an early age. There are a lot of offers now. Skin and sound kids show excellent results in chess, visual kids go to art schools with enthusiasm. Chess clubs, music schools, countless circles - you want to be in time everywhere, and there is no time left for communication with peers. Can this communication be neglected for the sake of forced intellectual development? Not.
Without a timely (from 4-5 years old) ranking in the team (system pack), the lower vectors remain without development. Communication in a flock of peers is necessary for every child, only in this way can he learn to distinguish the properties of others and understand his place. The time for ranking by the street has passed, our children practically do not walk in the yard. When choosing a "hobby club" for a child, this factor must be taken into account. A skin-sound child can not only sit at chess, but also participate in a team sports game, study in a theater or dance studio. An anal-visual little artist will be happy to read and exchange impressions about what she has read with her peers, such children learn foreign languages with interest, are engaged in collecting. Whatever the child does, it is important that he has a social circle,where he can express himself and feel his importance to others.
Severe depression of young people, theft and prostitution among children and adolescents, disappointing neurological and psychiatric diagnoses, mass suicides of children - all these are the consequences of the underdevelopment of the vector properties of the mental unconscious due to parental psychological illiteracy just when it was only possible to do it, i.e. before puberty. In this sense, the role of parents in raising children is much greater than is commonly thought. Only parents are responsible for the development of children until puberty. In the future, only that which has been developed is realized, nothing will be "further developed".
All families are equally happy, the classic thought and he was right. A happy family is a family where happy children grow up, developed and realized people of our common future. What are the laws of raising children in a family, and can family education be built on some rules established once and for all?
The role of the mother in raising children
Any rules, like our living conditions, change. More recently, it was believed that in order to create a lasting family union, it is necessary to find a unique person - your “soul mate”. If the marriage broke up, it became clear that the half was chosen by mistake. Modern systemic research of the mental proves: we can be happy with many people, a variety of couples can raise and educate happy children if they are systematically aware of their mental and mental of their child. Knowing the rules for combining vectors in a pair, it is not difficult to create, and most importantly, keep a family. The conditions for raising children in such a family are several orders of magnitude better than in families where the development of the child is left to chance and parental inspiration.
Significant changes also affected the distribution of roles between mother and father in the family upbringing of children. The role of the mother in raising children has been and remains paramount. Children may not have a father at all, but a mother who provides the child's basic sense of security must be required. In the modern world, women, along with men, are engaged in providing for families, mothers earn no less, and sometimes more than other fathers. But a woman is also responsible for raising a child, moreover, the role of a mother is paramount for a woman, this is her natural role.
The role of the father in the family upbringing of children is provision, alimony. The vast majority of fathers see their children only in the evening, and that's enough. The main thing: to establish the authority of the father in the family, to make it clear to the children that, although dad does not bother with them all day, he plays a very important role - provides and protects the family, solves big problems. Even those of the fathers who take care of children with visible pleasure, the best anal fathers-teachers, can only teach the child certain things, but education and development as a whole is the mother's task. The attitude of the children to him largely depends on the attitude of the mother to the father. If a woman with children expresses disdain, dissatisfaction with their father, this has a detrimental effect on his authority, and, consequently, on the upbringing process. Fatherhood is a great reason to become better for any mana developed and realized father gives children a worthy role model.
You need to understand that family traditions in raising children are not absolute and should give way to accurate and error-free parenting of children, taking into account their innate psychological characteristics. At the training "System Vector Psychology", many women admit that they managed to resolve completely dead-end problems with children: a capricious child stopped hysteria, an "unteachable" student began to study, an "uncontrollable" student stopped being rude and snapped, diagnoses of ADHD and autism are being removed, and relationships are being restored in family.
There is no mysticism here. Realizing themselves, their mental, parents clearly see their mistakes in raising a child, when these mistakes can still be corrected. They regret only one thing at the training - that they did not receive this knowledge earlier. How many annoying mistakes could have been avoided, from what incredible difficulties you could have saved yourself and your loved ones! Everyone finds the answer to their own painful question: how to improve relations with their son, how to make a child learn, what to do if children steal?
There are many of us, but there is a system!
Raising children in a large family is a topic for a separate study. Subject to a number of systemic rules, the socialization of a child in a large family can proceed faster, children from large families become more adapted to survival, learn to help younger ones, take responsibility for the assigned task, and depend less on their parents. It is not easy to provide attention to every child in such a family, but knowledge of system-vector psychology comes to the rescue here too. Realizing what kind of child is in front of us, we set before him a task corresponding to his true (vector) desire. Completing such tasks develops vector properties and prepares the child's psyche for a soft and painless entry into puberty.
The lack of widespread access to psychological assistance to parents with many children is one of the reasons why people are afraid to have more than two children. Material assistance alone is not enough here. At the training of Yuri Burlan, we receive the key to the mental of any child, as well as comprehensive recommendations on how to turn the primordial chaos of several children of different ages and temperaments into a well-functioning mechanism for ranking and mutual assistance based on clearly defined roles of the systemic pack.
Speaking about the problems of family education, one cannot but touch upon the topic of adoption. The adaptation of an adopted child in the family follows the same rules as the upbringing of one's own children. System-vector psychology makes it possible to easily determine the vectors of any person, regardless of his age, gender, nationality, social origin or religion. A systematic view of the psychic of a new family member makes him understandable and predictable, and his reactions to certain events are expected and explainable. It is clear that in such conditions many difficulties simply do not arise.