Raising mentally healthy children
Every parent is concerned that a Healthy, Smart, Happy Person grows out of his child - all with a capital letter. I am also no exception to this rule, and the method of raising children is very interesting to me. What are the key points to consider in raising a child as a person?
Every parent is concerned that a Healthy, Smart, Happy Person grows out of his child - all with a capital letter. I am also no exception to this rule, and the method of raising children is very interesting to me. Everything here has its own characteristics. Raising our child up to a year. Further, education of young children. Features of raising older children. Sex education of children.
What are the key points to consider in the upbringing and formation of a child as a person?
I have always been “my own psychologist”, constantly trying to figure out my psychological problems on my own, looking for, taking an interest. As a result, I got acquainted with the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, and my soul finally became calmer. I understood many things that I cannot help but share.
System-Vector Psychology distinguishes eight psychotypes called Vectors. Each of them specifies the presence of certain character traits, desires and abilities of a person. This set is unique for each vector. Together, the eight vectors are an exhaustive set for humanity today. They are enough to describe any person, the formation of his personality, his relations in the family and group of people, and even society as a whole.
Initially, the division of all our "live weight" into vector psychotypes is associated with the special sensitivity of certain zones on the human body. Eight erogenous zones, eight vector archetypes. However, they are called erogenous rather conditionally, do not take it as another "sexology".
The first of the zones (this was the anal erogenous zone), as well as the dependence of a person's character and life scenario on the presence of this erogenous zone, was discovered by Sigmund Freid. The rest of the zones were established and described later, by other authors.
In each person, some of the eight zones are more sensitive than others - this is due to the presence of the corresponding vectors, which in turn affects the formation of the personality and character of this particular person. For example, everyone has ears, but only a few have a sound vector (such people have heightened auditory perception). In general, modern man is polymorphic and usually carries 3-5 vectors. Knowing the essence of each vector, it is not difficult to see all the vectors of a particular person, their combinations, states. It is also not difficult to imagine his interests, to predict the reaction and behavior in a particular situation.
The problems of raising children are discussed in detail in System-Vector Psychology. I am a mother myself, and I am interested in System Thinking, including from the point of view of the child's psychology and the formation of his personality. Yuri Burlan's training places emphasis on different age stages of a child's growth. Raising a child at 3 years old has its own characteristics. As well as raising a 5-6 year old child. Passing the second level with Yuri Burlan, I am constantly affirmed in the idea that it is necessary, at least, to familiarize all mothers, fathers, and grandmothers with the basics of this system, since the family upbringing of children plays a special role. Kindergarten workers also take part in preschool development and upbringing of children; this knowledge is also important for them. And the district doctor from the neighboring clinic, and the teacher of the junior and middle grades,They need System Thinking no less. They are followed by “writers of children's fairy tales”, “producers of cartoons for children” (and movies for adults, it doesn't hurt either - I couldn't watch much before, but now the selection criteria have become even more stringent) … In general, to all those who have a direct impact on the upbringing and education of our children in the pre-adolescent period (that is, conditionally before puberty at 12-15). It is extremely important that in this age interval the mentioned persons, with the parents at their head, pay special attention to the upbringing of the child, and do not disfigure the unformed child's psyche. Indeed, it is during this period that the development or not the development of the innate properties of the child, his adaptability in society, mental health is laid, the formation of the personality takes place.“Producers of cartoons for children” (and movies for adults, it will not hurt either - I could watch little before, but now the selection criteria have become even more stringent) …. In general, to all those who have a direct impact on the upbringing and education of our children in the pre-adolescent period (that is, conditionally before puberty at 12-15 years old). It is extremely important that in this age interval the mentioned persons, with the parents at their head, pay special attention to the upbringing of the child, and do not disfigure the unformed child's psyche. Indeed, it is during this period that the development or not the development of the innate properties of the child, his adaptability in society, mental health is laid, the formation of the personality takes place.“Producers of cartoons for children” (and movies for adults, it will not hurt either - I could watch little before, but now the selection criteria have become even more stringent) …. In general, to all those who have a direct impact on the upbringing and education of our children in the pre-adolescent period (that is, conditionally before puberty at 12-15 years old). It is extremely important that in this age interval the mentioned persons, led by their parents, pay special attention to the upbringing of the child, and do not disfigure the unformed child's psyche. Indeed, it is during this period that the development or not the development of the innate properties of the child, his adaptability in society, mental health is laid, the formation of the personality takes place.who has a direct impact on the upbringing and education of our children in the pre-pubertal period (that is, conditionally before puberty at 12-15). It is extremely important that in this age interval the mentioned persons, with the parents at their head, pay special attention to the upbringing of the child, and do not disfigure the unformed child's psyche. Indeed, it is during this period that the development or not the development of the innate properties of the child, his adaptability in society, mental health is laid, the formation of the personality takes place.who has a direct influence on the upbringing and education of our children in the pre-pubertal period (that is, conditionally before puberty at the age of 12-15). It is extremely important that in this age interval the mentioned persons, led by their parents, pay special attention to the upbringing of the child, and do not disfigure the unformed child's psyche. After all, it is during this period that the development or not the development of the innate properties of the child, his adaptability in society, mental health is laid, the formation of the personality takes place. After all, it is during this period that the development or not the development of the innate properties of the child, his adaptability in society, mental health is laid, the formation of the personality takes place. Indeed, it is during this period that the development or not the development of the innate properties of the child, his adaptability in society, mental health is laid, the formation of the personality takes place.
What happens if the properties of the child are not developed before he grows up? It will definitely be bad. Congenital desires are given, you can't get away from them, and the abilities and ability to satisfy these desires are not developed. Such people suffer greatly. They tend to rush from side to side, all the time feeling dissatisfied, feeling that they could achieve more in their life. If the innate properties are also transferred (accidentally or intentionally, from the best intentions, but out of ignorance), then the properties can go into neurosis. Neurosis is the desires of the vector "vice versa" More on this at the second level of training in System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.
I see examples and confirmations of the vector system every day, even on the street. The more I delve into it, the more I become convinced that everything fits together and that the system is truly comprehensive.
The suspicion that all this is true comes from the very first lectures. At first it's very funny how Yuri Burlan begins to describe Kozhnikov and Analnikov (indeed, you meet such people here and there). And these descriptions are volumetric-real, in the smallest detail, not just some kind of "introvert" and "extrovert" (we all distinguish introverts from extroverts, but there is almost zero practical benefit from this knowledge). When Yuri turns to the reverse side of the vectors, namely, who these people grow up into, if they are not lucky enough to get into the conditions of development suitable for them, the hair stands on end. An undeveloped anal guy becomes a sadist and a pedophile. An undeveloped leatherman is a thief, a masochist. An undeveloped visual vector - by a transvestite and a transsexual, etc. This is just what comes to mind offhand. The stuff is huge.
At first I thought that if I am a “good mother”, I love my child with all the fibers of my soul, I care, I give him everything I can give, spend a lot of time with him, teach and teach all sorts of counting-trainers, cook healthy food, then everything is at we will be fine. It wasn't like that. Raising children in a family requires certain knowledge in psychology for the correct formation of a personality.
Well, if your vectors coincide with the vectors of the child, it is easier for you to understand each other by the equality of properties. But here, too, questions arise. For example, how to raise a boy? How to develop character? Anal father - Anal son, it's just an idyll, they were both lucky, they understand each other perfectly, the anal son is so obedient, well, just "son of the year." Skin parent - Skin child is also adequate. But the Urethral Father is the Skin Son … Well, if they don't kill each other … What kind of adequate upbringing and development can we talk about? What is the future for such a son? How to raise your son correctly is important to know. How to educate a man so that he can be realized in later life?
Different vectors for parents and children is generally a disaster. You think you know what is good and what is bad, that toys should be carefully folded, that parents should be honored, that the family should always come first - you know through yourself (and about yourself). And your child has completely different values in life - he is proactive, speedy and absolutely naughty, and the feeling of guilt is unusual for him - press, do not press, he will not hear. A correct Anal father cannot stand this, he will certainly (from the best intentions, so that the child grow up as a Human), will raise him, of course, in the father's most beloved (anal) place. How does this affect personality formation? And so that the skin child will then relieve stress by picking small change in the pockets of classmates … You will not have time to look back, the child has grown up as a petty thief. And this is for life. And if the Skin Child is beaten regularly, then he will become a masochist (The Skin vector has super-flexible properties, adapts everything, and even turns pain into pleasure). If the Anal Father similarly "brings up" the skin girl, then in the future she will perceive her body as an asset. On relationships with men, and her entire future life, this will forever leave a negative imprint. Therefore, understanding how to raise a girl is very important. Therefore, understanding how to raise a girl is very important. Therefore, understanding how to raise a girl is very important.
There is also a "reverse scenario", Skin mom - Anal child. Mom is in a hurry, she needs to run on business, and a thorough anal child is stuck on the pot. She will pull it off the pot once, for the second time … you look, the child is already a stutterer.. let's go to a speech therapist … She doesn’t intentionally, she just doesn’t know, doesn’t understand that her child has a different pace of life, and even if he wants to keep up with a high-speed mother, he was not given such strong legs in this life. Sounds funny? I'm not very good. Every time I think about it, a lump in my throat. It would seem that such trifles are insignificant, the situation is not worth a damn, but what are the consequences!
Sound children are generally considered morons by everyone, from school teachers to their own parents. Well, they do not understand this sleepwalking. Teachers cannot understand why Zvukovik must always stand aside in the corner during recess, when all normal children are running around like crazy along the corridor. Parents yell at Zvukovikov, or even better hiss "what kind of moron are you, why did I give birth to you" … Subconsciously, we always know how and what to hit harder! It is to Zvukovik that his schoolmate comes up from behind and from all his might unexpectedly hits him in the ears - his erogenous zone! By the third grade, a business-like and efficient teacher with the Skin vector “understands” that the child is simply sick, lags behind in development, is absolutely asocial, and will send him to school for the mentally retarded. But these are the future Einsteins, the smartest people on the planet. It's just that their mind is not as structured as everyone else's. This is what we make of them autistic and schizophrenic. Yes, we ourselves make them autistic (this is for those who think that autistic people are born).
Sound parents are good too. More than anything, they want to be left alone at last! And the Oral child, how he pesters the Sound parents! Then the parents decide that it is not necessary to listen to him (because there is no strength), what only he does not compose to attract attention! You hit him on the lips for fantasies (in your opinion, a lie), getting another stutter (just another type of stuttering). After some time, he will completely lose the feeling of truth / falsehood, and turn into a pathological liar. And he could have become an outstanding speaker …
Even if some one vector remains underdeveloped in a child, he will then suffer and suffer all his life from the inability to get what is put in this vector. Damage to him, to you, to his possible family and his own children, damage to society, to our common mental health.
I'm not talking about absolutely catastrophic scenarios of anal pedophiles or sound suicides …
The only guarantee is still to be able to determine the vector set of one's own and the child, and not forget that he has the right to this vector set, the right to live in accordance with his system of values. In this regard, people are amazed who, being at least superficially familiar with vectors, do not at all take note of this. They continue to demand from others to live in accordance with their values … Although, apparently, this is just a lack of intelligence, nothing can be done about it..
Today, when we are raising and raising a 2-year-old child, we ruffle his hair and kiss his soft cheeks. It seems to us that he will never hit 13-14 when he goes on a first date and actually becomes an adult. Look at your friends, at their children of this age and older, and at the children of friends of your acquaintances … Do you know how YOUR child will grow up?
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