Live without closing your eyes
Maybe the evil eye? Maybe a celibacy crown? Maybe psychological problems? What is our life? Wrestling. Fight for your own happiness …
What is our life? Wrestling. Fighting for your own happiness. A series of unsuccessful attempts to build relationships and start a family. One, two, three … Each time a repeat of the previous one, only the interiors are different. Came - went, came - left and finally left forever. Maybe the evil eye? Maybe a celibacy crown? Maybe psychological problems? Everything is passed, everything is tested, there is no help. Everything will happen again.
Clinging to an image, how to catching to air
Like a phoenix, once again resurrecting from the ashes, you will again meet your desired happiness. New sympathy - and again correspondence without sleep all night long. If only the day would not end, if only not to end. And the eye rests on the word "online", the soul rejoices at the word "prints", and very good, and not at all scary. But there comes a moment of parting, when the eyes close, and when they open in a new day, the feeling of anxiety that everything is over, that everything was canceled at night, seizes.
Scary. It seems that something can certainly happen to you. You grab the phone, look at the status on the network. I haven't woken up yet, I haven't disappeared from your life yet. Still, maybe he will write. And here it is the salutary "Good morning" as an anti-fear, as a pill, from which everything in the world passes. Just not to lose. If only the night did not come. You do understand that this is exactly the person you need. You've been waiting for him all your life. But the carriage turned into a pumpkin again.
At some point, you stop noticing the qualities of the person with whom you communicate, you forget what you liked about him. It turns into a saving image for you, completely blurred and dissolved in the depths of your fears. Only fear, like a drug, takes possession of you, each time demanding a dose more and more. The amplitude of emotional races increases. And the salutary "Good morning" comes every few days, and then once a week, and soon - never. A few years ago, these were salutary meetings. Then - life-saving meetings mixed with messages on the network. And now only words and statuses. Because it's scary, scary to experience this pain of loss. It's scary to get close to people, it's scary to lose them later.
Everything has a beginning
So where does my fear originate? At the training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology" I learned that every person has a set of innate properties of the psyche. And there are people in the world, very sensual, kind, who enjoy the beauty of this world and see the meaning of life for themselves exclusively in love. These are the lucky owners of the visual vector. A vector is a set of these properties, which each person can have their own, at different levels of development and in different degrees of realization.
Each person develops into their opposite. And the owner of the visual vector, born with the fear of death, with his correct development, is capable of the greatest love. And to a person, and even to all of humanity. But, unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough not to pick up various anchors or psychotraumas in childhood. And instead of creating emotional bonds, we tie ourselves to people with emotional addictions. These are always difficult conditions, they are always not love, they are always a demand for self-love. And it's always a failure.
Album of memories
For visual children, the moment of development of feelings is very important. It can be reading books together. The child always has an emotional connection with the parent who involves him in reading. It happened to me too. My dad always read to me. I well remember his shirt, smell, voice. Nothing was scary with him at all. But only close. I recall several stories when I was seized by a strong fear associated with dad.
The first picture is a camp site, night. Dad puts me to bed and, thinking that I have fallen asleep, leaves for the evening festivities with friends through the balcony. Night. I remember the reflection of tree branches swaying in the wind on the wall near my bed. Terribly scary. Eyes full of fear. Don't fall asleep. Dad came back and let go, and again good. Security.
The second picture is a forest. Every Sunday in winter, my dad and I went skiing in the forest. From my earliest childhood. The forest was next to our house. In this forest there was an enclosure with animals. Bears, bison, foxes. Naturally, my skiing speed was much lower than my dad's. And he managed to drive a couple of laps while I rolled a few meters. I well remember those moments when he went ahead, and I was left alone in the forest, as it seemed to me, surrounded by wild animals. I was running on skis as fast as I could, turning over my short children's legs, crying. And dad was catching up with me and laughed that I was a coward.
Third picture. When dad left us. This was the most difficult period in my life. It seemed to me that I did something wrong. I didn't understand why our dad left. I cried a lot. And then he came back. Suddenly. Good again. But something in me never came back. I never approached him emotionally again. In order not to lose.
For visual people, breaking emotional ties is a serious trauma. Painful memories are often displaced from memory, going far into the unconscious. We can consciously want one thing - love, and unconsciously be afraid and repulse it. And the unconscious influence is always stronger, it forms a certain life scenario.
Cat and mouse
Probably, every person living on earth went through how the person who came up behind him closed his eyes with his palms, and he had to guess who it was. Remember the emotions that you experienced at that moment. First, fear, then exposure and excitement of emotions from meeting with some close acquaintance.
Now imagine that your whole life is just such an emotional swing. At first it’s scary that you don’t see, and then delight that the danger has passed and your friend is in front of you. And it is important to catch an eye on someone - no matter who, just to see. Only it would not be scary.
Man is the pleasure principle. Pleasure for a visual person is always emotions. Only they can be either with a plus sign, when they are directed at other people, when it is empathy, empathy, love, or with a minus sign, when they are directed in themselves, in the demand for self-love, tantrums, emotional dependence. When you get this state of your security, catching your eye on some person. Whose qualities are not so important to you. You do not need him so much as you just strive to get what you want from him. Only an emotional swing. And the phrase, once hooked to the depths of my soul, becomes completely understandable: "If I were good with you, I would not leave." Because you can never be good with a person who uses you for their small purposes. Which will never give you a chance to realize yourself in a pair relationship.
At Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology" we get the opportunity to realize the unconscious motives of our behavior, the causes of our suffering. And the ability to truly love and not be emotionally dependent.
