How to stop being afraid and anxious
I'm so tired of being scared all the time! It's terribly exhausting. How to stop being afraid of everything and cheat yourself for any reason? Why is this happening at all?
The chief called to him. All right, I’m probably in trouble. Now they will be reprimanded for any mistakes, or will be deprived of the bonus, or even fired.
Carried over, the chief only needed a copy of the last document. I return home after dark. What are those voices in the alley? Now they will be moored or robbed! There is no other way for me to go - turn back and wait?
Finally at home. An unexpected doorbell rings. Who is this late ?! Did something bad happen to the neighbors? Or what kind of drunkard, by mistake, breaks into the night looking? Pretend I'm not there? What if the robbers are checking it?
I'm so tired of being scared all the time! It's terribly exhausting. How to stop being afraid of everything and cheat yourself for any reason? Why is this happening at all?
What is fear and what it is
Fear has many faces. Someone tests it before what is theoretically associated with danger to life and health. Fear of blood: it is scary to get injured, die of blood loss. Fear of heights: you can fall. Fear of dogs, snakes, insects: they can attack, bite. Fear of darkness, confined spaces, water and others - under certain conditions, this can pose a threat.
Anyone will be afraid and try to be careful, this is normal. But a person who suffers from a phobia already fears irrationally, excessively, for no apparent reason, besides, it is much more intense, sometimes he cannot even control himself from horror.
There are fears that are not associated with immediate danger. For example, fear of public speaking, fear of making a mistake, fear of talking to a stranger, fear of being frank.
There are phobias that most generally seem ridiculous, bizarre. But someone is afraid of buttons, peanut butter or yellow to a faint state. And they have no time for jokes.
There are situations when the feeling of fear is not at all specific, not directed at anything, but very tangible. You just wake up in the middle of the night in a panic, not knowing why, and you cannot calm down. Or an inexplicable feeling of horror covers at the height of the working day, or driving a car, or in line at a shopping center.
To get rid of fears, the first step is to determine the essence of the problem: what it is, how it arises and why. Otherwise, how to stop being afraid of something? We will analyze this question, relying on the materials of the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan, because it is the state of the psyche that is responsible for the emergence of fears and our ability to overcome them.
Who is afraid
It is impossible to understand the essence of fear without understanding the visual vector - all the roots are there.
People with visual vectors are naturally more emotional. That is, the same emotions: joy, sadness, fear, relief and all the rest - they experience more intensely.
For example, a couple went on a trip to another country. He is without a visual vector: he is satisfied, he is interested, glad that he got out to rest. She - with a visual vector: in complete delight, how many impressions, how beautiful and unusual everything is, joy for the eyes and for the soul! It seems a little more - and jumps with pleasure.
Or the same couple had an argument. He: upset and gloomy, wants this stage to pass as soon as possible. She: every now and then in tears, experiences such that everything falls out of hands, pestering thoughts that he stopped loving her, and without him how to live? Reconciled - happiness, even as if it became brighter around, and not only in the heart.
To those with a visual vector, other people without it sometimes seem callous, insensitive. And vice versa: those who do not have a visual vector may consider the spectators too suspicious, inclined to take everything to heart, to make an elephant out of a fly. "Well, what are you worried about nonsense?" - told you this when you had no idea how you can NOT worry?
Most people love it when it's beautiful. For visual people, aesthetic pleasure reaches a new level. All works of art were created only by them. And special connoisseurs, patrons of art galleries, exhibitions, fashion shows, theatrical performances, dance shows - they are the same.
They can see beauty in everything: both in the combination of colors in the painting of the master-impressionist, and in the decorations matched to the costume, and in the way the setting sun illuminates the fluffy clouds, and in the grace with which the horse overcomes an obstacle. And how wonderful the smile of a loved one can be!
Why Fear Has Big Eyes
The imagination of such people is much stronger. This can be expressed in a positive way, for example, when practicing different types of art or with a creative approach to solving any issues. Therefore, it is very important to develop imagination as early as childhood. The best way to do this is to read classic fiction: it is a veritable treasure trove of images and experiences.
But if a visual person does not know how to use his sensory potential for its intended purpose, the imagination plays a cruel joke with him. How to stop being afraid if the pictures in your head are one more terrible than the other, and even so realistic?
Often, the owners of the visual vector become superstitious. In coincidences, they begin to see signs of fate, in accidents - bad omens. Driven into a corner by their own fear, they turn to fortune-tellers, psychics and other masters of black, white and gray-brown-crimson magic for "help". And they know how not to let the visual clientele get off the hook: when to calm down, when to intimidate, how to feed the wild imagination.
A visual child sees monsters in the dark, and an impressionable adult begins to imagine the horrors that can happen in real life. I fancied the wrong intonation in the speech of a beloved man, and now there is a scene in my mind's eye: he cooled down, or even got himself another. And in the dark alleys, it seems, only bandits and other ill-wishers are waiting.
Sometimes such fantasies are more damaging than real troubles. A person spends a lot of energy trying to somehow control himself. And when it comes to relationships, it is exhausting for both.
People with a visual vector see the meaning of life in love. A warm, trusting relationship is necessary for everyone, but visual people simply cannot live without it. The opportunity to share their experiences with someone close is their need. Their desire is to express feelings and receive responses to them. They suffer more from loneliness than anyone else. At the same time, they can sometimes be afraid of society.
If we imagine emotionality in the form of a scale, as on a mercury thermometer, then love with all its manifestations will be at the top - where the plus sign is, and in the minus part there will be fear. The same mercury, depending on external conditions, goes up and down. The same emotionality can manifest itself in the form of love, then in the form of fear. Depending on what? From the orientation of feelings: inward, toward myself (I'm scared) or outward, toward other people (I love you, I empathize with you).
You can't give up emotions altogether. It happens that in childhood we are taught not to show feelings: “You can't cry! You have to be strong. " Or, already at a conscious age, we ourselves, because of any emotional trauma, forbid ourselves to show "weakness", that is, feelings. But emotionality is an innate quality, it will not go anywhere and, not finding the proper outlet, will break through in the form of tantrums, fears, panic attacks, and mood swings.
How to stop being afraid and anxious and start experiencing positive emotions? Obviously, you need to learn how to direct them to the "plus zone". Emotions are our inner resource. It depends on us how we use it and what we get in the end.
Some features of fears
Several vectors can be combined in one person. Sometimes they leave their mark when it comes to fears.
For example, people with an anal vector are indecisive by nature. And when their visual vector is in a state of "fear", they can experience strong self-doubt. They are terrified of having to speak in public or strike up a conversation with a stranger. The fear of being disgraced, making mistakes, not being good enough at something is also about them.
The highest value of such people is family. Therefore, people with an anal-visual combination of vectors may experience excessive anxiety for loved ones. My son stayed 10 minutes after school - something happened! Such overprotection harasses both household members and the person himself.
People with a cutaneous vector are especially concerned about their health, so they may be afraid of getting infected with something, especially through the skin. In the skin-visual combination, there is a fear of getting old, getting fat, and losing attractiveness. In especially severe cases, it comes to anorexia.
The owners of the sound vector are afraid to go crazy - to lose control over their own mental activity. The owners of the olfactory vector have a fear of being poisoned. For a complete understanding of all predispositions, it is necessary to delve deeper into the study of the characteristics of the psyche of each vector.
How to Stop Fear and Worry: Tips
In order to get rid of constant fears and exhausting anxiety states, a systematic approach is needed:
- Realize your nature. Study the features of the psyche, innate desires, abilities, methods of implementation. Work through old emotional trauma, get rid of false attitudes.
- Reveal sensuality. Emotional fulfillment and realization - for this, nature has endowed the owners of the visual vector with a huge sensory potential. Empathy, sincere interest in the fate of other people, manifestations of kindness and care are all facets of love.
- Focus on others. Emotions need an outlet. In order to better understand people, interact more effectively with them and get joy from communication and manifestations of feelings, it is necessary to study all aspects of the human psyche, all the differences and points of contact.
- Increase resistance to stress. This happens by itself when we begin to understand the psyche, what we are capable of ourselves, what to expect from others. If we clearly see our capabilities, then we look into the future without fear.
Thousands of people have already been able to understand themselves and get rid of a variety of problems, including fear and anxiety. They are no longer faced with the question of how to stop being afraid. They rush to live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment of it.
