Why I don't love my child and how to live with it
Dislike, disgust, hatred for this creature arises. It always demands attention, yells or nagging, climbs everywhere. Thoughts themselves knock on my head: how to get rid of it? Hand over to an orphanage … "Accidentally" to lose somewhere at the station … But no, the child lives and seems to take your life.
I should know that everything will turn out like this … And now I have to somehow live with this fact: I do not love my child. No warmth, no affection - you just don't feel anything for him.
Dislike, disgust, hatred for this creature arises. It always demands attention, yells or nagging, climbs everywhere. Thoughts themselves knock on my head: how to get rid of it? Hand over to an orphanage … "Accidentally" to lose somewhere at the station … But no, the child lives and seems to take your life.
The surrounding people twist their fingers at the temple and threaten to call the guardianship authorities. Psychologists treat postpartum depression - but it doesn't go away.
Nobody knows why all this is happening to you. No one. The training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan will help to reveal the reason for what is happening in your soul.
Why i don't love my baby
The psyche of different women is not the same. From the very birth we are endowed with completely different qualities.
- Lack of love for a child, an indifferent attitude towards him, fear of not coping with the role of a mother can be experienced by women with a skin-visual combination of vectors. They are naturally nulliparous and do not have that maternal instinct that makes them give their lives for a baby. Over time, such a mother most often develops an emotional bond with her son or daughter. But this is not always the case.
- Dislike, hatred for their own child can also be experienced by the owners of the sound vector in certain states. These are women with highly sensitive hearing and a talent for abstract thinking. It happens that a child's cry is unbearable for them. Fussing around "mum's duties" is disgusting. It seems that you were born for something big and important, but childbirth passed a sentence: now you are just an appendage to this screaming bag from the hospital.
Let's take a closer look at both scenarios.
It seems to me - I do not love my child … or maybe - I'm afraid?
Only in the last hundred years, the owners of the cutaneous-visual ligament of vectors began to become pregnant and give birth thanks to the achievements of medicine. But even today, such women have serious problems with conception, bearing and independent childbirth.
Mind and body are inextricably linked. Psychologically, the skin-visual woman, in a sense, remains "nulliparous." For example, he simply does not feel the desire to give birth. Having succumbed to the persuasion of loved ones, after conception, he experiences fears. Afraid of dying in childbirth. She is worried that she has lost her beauty and attractiveness.
Such a woman has no maternal instinct by nature. Having given birth, she often experiences helplessness and panic: she does not know how to approach a child. Afraid to harm him, inadvertently crush him in a dream. Experiencing disgust for a small wrinkled newborn - "how ugly he is." Feels like she can't be a normal mother.
A woman with a visual vector comprehends her life in love and strong sensual experiences. With the appearance of a child, fear may arise that the beloved man no longer treats her as before. His care for the baby can cause latent jealousy in a woman: now the husband realizes his attention and love in the role of a parent.
If a marriage breaks up, it seems that the child is the reason: it was he who “invaded our life” and destroyed happiness, destroyed love.
The plus is that the owner of the visual vector can gradually build a deep emotional connection with the baby. Most often this succeeds when the baby reaches the age of three, begins to distinguish himself from others. But it all depends on the internal states of the woman. If she is often subject to fears, hysterics, panic attacks, the sensual connection may not develop, which means that such a woman does not feel love for the child.
I am a mother who does not love her child … or rather, hates
A woman with a sound vector is a little out of this world. For her, mundane values may not matter at all. Sometimes people are squeamish about the fact that people live "like a herd of sheep": they are concerned only with their feeder.
Disgust is also caused by the "clucking" of mothers over their chickens. “Is it possible that a person was born only to consume, procreate and die like a biorobot? What then is the meaning of the fact that we live?"
The owner of the sound vector wants to understand the meaning, design of life. But these issues are not always recognized. It happens that the background constantly sounds internal dissatisfaction, emptiness in the soul.
Silence, solitude, the ability to calmly be in your thoughts is a desirable state for a sound person. Having a baby can be real torture:
- Children's cry. It causes excruciating pain. Breaks the brain. It makes you want to run to the ends of the world, to do whatever, if only the source of the sound is silent forever.
- The opportunity to be alone is lost. Relatives give the opportunity to be without a child only for a while, then you have to return. There is a feeling that you no longer belong to yourself. It's like a sentence to your own life, which was taken away from you.
- The child constantly requires attention. While it is limited to diapers - it's not so bad. You can do household chores thinking about your own. But at 2-3 years old, he begins to speak, his voice is screwed into the brain, pulling him out of his own thoughts. "Mommy, Mommy!" - he knocks on the brain. "Maaaaam, well maaaam!" - boring gundos sounds on one note. Anger, anger, hatred grows inside. It's harder to hold back every day.
- The feeling of one's own "I" is blurred. Now the child is not only outside, but also constantly in your head. You seem to have lost yourself. I would like to get rid of this, to oust this obstacle from my head and life.
Faint glimpses of the joy of motherhood only occur when the baby is making intellectual progress. Because thinking, thinking is a pleasure and a value for the sound woman herself. But this joy is not enough for a long time. I would like to understand and realize my own destiny in this world.
I do not love my child: what to do?
While we are at the mercy of unconscious states, it does not work out to change something for the better. They control every thought, emotion, action. An obsessive thoughtphone arises: how to relieve this unbearable tension, how to get rid of it? But thoughts do not come to mind that will correct the situation.
Everyone is created for happiness and wants to achieve it. The only way out is to open your psyche, to understand what is happening to you. Become aware of the hidden mechanism that controls you at every moment.
Then you become “above the situation”. You find the right decisions that change your inner state to a happy, joyful and calm one. Over time, it becomes a skill to live happily, allows you to realize your unique destiny without contradicting motherhood.
Listen to what mothers who have experienced this say - the results of the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan confirm this:
There are many such results, thousands of mothers after the training were able to solve their problems with children. Join the free online classes "Systemic Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
