All men are goats, so I'm alone. Treating bad experiences
Her first love very quickly and painfully ended in divorce. Now she herself often argues that men are unreliable people and, in general, "not very". She even likes to scold men, for her it is like an outlet, an attempt to justify her loneliness: “Yes, it didn’t work out, and was it worth trying?..” And is it possible, having a bad experience, to find a good person and create a happy relationship?
Varya was 9 when she and her mother were alone. The father is gone. Then, in the family, conversations began that there were only problems with the men, that you could not rely on them. Since childhood, she heard that “it is difficult to find a man, because a good man is not lying on the road, that after 30 all the good ones are already busy, and if they are free, then goats with whom it is better not to mess with”.
As she grew up, these words were invariably confirmed and became a personal experience. Her first love very quickly and painfully ended in divorce. Now she herself often argues that men are unreliable people and, in general, "not very". She even likes to scold men, for her it is like an outlet, an attempt to justify her loneliness: "Yes, it didn't work out, and was it worth trying?.."
Indeed, some men behave, to put it mildly, not very well. But this does not mean that there are no worthy men among men. There are men who look after, give flowers, do housework, carry a woman in their arms … Why is it so insulting to speak of all men?
And is it possible, with a bad experience, to find a good person and create a happy relationship?
The answers to all these questions are given by the training "System-vector psychology".
The first experience is the basis of the future life
Each of us is shaped by our life experience. However, there are people for whom their experience is especially important - these are people with an anal vector. They especially often look back, to the past, and revive in their memories both the best and the worst. They have an excellent memory, which stores everything about everything - personal memories, all the literature read, professional skills and knowledge.
And this same memory can become a source of constant suffering if they have had to go through painful experiences. Resentment arises - a feeling of unfair disadvantage. Such a person cannot forget, therefore he constantly suffers, returning again and again back to the past, and looking at his present day through the prism of this past. Moreover, the analytical mind of such people tends to generalize: if it happened once, then it will happen again. Often, once having been burned in a relationship and convinced from personal experience that a man may be unreliable - change, abandon, betray - a woman stops looking for a mate and remains alone for a long time precisely because of her conviction that a good man is still not meet.
It is difficult for Varya to find a man for herself, not only because the first experience is especially significant for her, but also because of resentment towards the opposite sex, including resentment towards her father, which she endured from childhood. The pain that her mother endured led her to feel that her father was wrong, that he acted unfairly with her mother. In the future, such a woman will be inclined to react with resentment - a feeling of unfair deprivation of any discomfort in a relationship with a man - because he does not behave that way, does not do that. This happens unconsciously, her man may be absolutely different from her father, but she will still see injustice in his every act in relation to herself.
I want to warn everyone: all men are goats
If a woman says that all men are goats, in fact she is angry with only one
Folk wisdom
Such a woman can speak offensively about men, give advice to other women: “Look, don't trust the men! Here they are all! Her own pain boils and bubbles in her. And when you have to say something unpleasant about a man by the way, she relieves the tension in which she is constantly, experiences some inner relief, pouring out her resentment. Although not for long, because the resentment against men continues to exist in her soul.
"Vasya, you are a goat, you ruined my whole life!" - she will broadcast this insult in conversations about men in general and about any particular man in particular, assuming that he is the same as her Vasya. She may not even think about the fact that her words can hurt another, her own pain is so strong.
An anal-visual woman can speak very ironically about men, use sarcasm, joke evil, presenting offensive meanings under an intellectual sauce. And the higher the intelligence, the more sophisticated she can beat men with a word. Often, her words sound weighty and reasoned - so that it can be difficult to determine the desire to humiliate a man behind them, so much she disguises this intention with her intellectual presentation and her education.
The tendency to humiliate men with a word - to verbal sadism - in anal women is aggravated by dissatisfaction from the lack of sexual relations. The fact is that a woman with an anal vector has a very high libido. She needs a constant sexual partner, to whom she gets used and begins to feel desire only for him. However, when there is no permanent partner, sexual desire does not go away, it still remains high. Only she is not one of those who will twist intrigues or try one-time sex with a casual partner. It is difficult for her to trust a man, it is difficult to go closer to him. Having once lost confidence, such a woman is often left alone for a long time. The lack of sexual realization causes her enormous tension, which she can partially relieve through verbal sadism.
Loneliness: The Pride and Prejudice of the Modern Woman
An offended woman sees shortcomings in men, without noticing the advantages. It is simply impossible to create a relationship with a man when you are only engaged in looking for flaws and are afraid to get close so as not to repeat a bad experience.
In addition, when a woman also has upper vectors, then in the visual vector she may be hindered by fear of expressing her feelings, and in the sound vector it may seem to her that a relationship with a man is such nonsense that is not worth a damn, but she needs something completely different, something global - to understand the meaning of life, to change the world. And a relationship with a man, it seems to her, cannot give her an answer to this request.
However, no matter how she justifies her loneliness, such a woman is afraid to admit to herself that she simply needs a relationship with a man. Sometimes it is the resentment and life experience that prevents her from seeing that men are also people, with their feelings, with their pain, and they need understanding and support no less than women. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to let go of insults, learn to see good in a man, see his desires, his aspirations, his essence, his psyche, his picture of the world. And then a woman becomes able to build a relationship with a man based on mutual understanding and support.
The value of marriage, children, a strong family and a comfortable home for a woman with an anal vector is enormous. A powerful libido requires a sexual relationship - not just a fleeting one, but a lifetime. In a family, such a woman will be truly happy, no matter what she herself says and thinks about this.
The training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan helps a woman to realize her true desires and find the only man with whom she will be happy.
The participants of the training talk about how they managed to survive the pain, meet their man and start a family:
Come to the training "System Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan and discover the happiness of trust and intimacy with a man.
