I understood the reason for my son's tantrums. They are no more
The son froze for a moment, and I already knew that now a roar, a howl, a frightening evacuation siren would begin. His tantrums began to happen from about two years old. Out of the blue. From nowhere. For no reason …
I came to the training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan about a year ago. There was only one question: “What is wrong with my son? Or with me?"
His tantrums began to happen from about two years old. Out of the blue. From nowhere. For no reason.
The son froze for a moment, and I already knew that now a roar, a howl, a terrifying evacuation siren would begin.
It was impossible to get him out of there, neither by persuasion, nor by an affectionate word, nor by the severity of tone. At such moments I wanted to run away, hide, bury my head in the sand.
My reaction was always different: from indignation to complete despair, from a feverish desire to find a psychologist, astrologer, herbalist at once, to unwillingness to get up in the morning from my helplessness as a parent.
I began to avoid communicating with him, not asking unnecessary questions, so as not to provoke unnecessary tantrums. Oh, how difficult it is to admit even to myself - I preferred communication with my second son, who was understandable, calm and predictable. It was painful.
I came to the training to answer the questions: “What to do? How to live?"
Recognition
From the first lecture on the topic "Sound Vector" I recognized my son. And the next morning after class, he came up to me and kissed me. I cried. Sound lectures were one of the most difficult, but key in relation to the son.
I understood why he spoke so late, why he was hiding in the closet, tightly closing the doors to cry out his tantrum. Why is it so difficult to lay him down at night and wake him up in the morning.
The phrase “The word is the meaning” was constantly throbbing in my head. I walked around the house with notes and re-read from time to time: “The talent of a sound engineer is a word, a word is a meaning, this is its strength. The more words in stock, the more meanings, the more comfortable. It seemed to me that I had found the answer.
One evening before dinner, I asked my son: “What were you doing with dad on the street? Did you help him? " He looked out the window at the site, opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but changed his mind. He was about to fall into his tantrum. But it was this time that I had an inhuman desire to reach the end and understand where the failure occurs. I intercepted this moment, took my son in my arms, brought him to the window and fell asleep with questions, so that he would not fall into his cry: “Did you throw rubble on the road?”, “Did you work with a hammer or a screwdriver?”, “Have you been in the sandbox or near the garage? " … He pointed to two wooden hemp and said: "Screwdriver, I … I … I …"
My little boy was ready to cry again, but I was determined: in a hurry, I threw a jacket over myself and the child and ran out into the yard. We approached these stumps, I saw several dozen screws. "Did you tighten the screws with a screwdriver?" I asked. “Yes, I did it,” the son replied and beamed with a smile. He knew the word "screwdriver", he knew the word "screw", but he did not have the word "tighten" for the full meaning. In the garage, we took a couple of screws with us and returned to dinner, both happy and happy. At the table we discussed what a thread is, why a sharp end is needed and what is the difference between "unscrewing" and "screwing in".
Eureka
I was inspired by my discovery: hysterics from the inability to express my thought! Because there is not enough vocabulary. And where to get it?.. In reading. We have always loved books, but now I did not just limit myself to a monotonous fairy tale before bedtime, but with special attention began to discuss the plot, characters, illustrations, and give examples from life. The son turned on.
I have purchased and used printed versions of dictionaries of synonyms and antonyms on a daily basis. Several times I reviewed all parts of the seminar of the systemic speech therapist Victoria Fomenko on YouTube. She began to apply a lot in practice according to her recommendations. And everything finds an incredible response from his son.
We began to take for a walk a leaf with some of the poems of Pushkin, Yesenin or Fet. The nature around suddenly became so beautiful, understandable and enriched with the genius of the great Russian poets. We have learned the golden repertoire of Soviet songs and are enjoying the wonderful meanings of words from "Beautiful far away" or "The clock on the old tower is striking."
No more tantrums
Now the son knows that if words are not enough, then he can ask mom or dad for help. Together we will go on an exciting journey in search of the right, right word. And we will definitely find it! This is much more interesting than crying in a dark closet.
I bathe in happiness from communication with my son. My heart is filled with love, joy, the desire to give and receive knowledge with children. I appreciate the moments when he, copying me, picks up a dictionary, looks for the right letter with his younger brother. And then he begins to explain to him the structure of things, gives examples, asks questions.
By the way, we keep the dictionaries in the kitchen, closer to the dining table, to clarify the meanings of words and color them with a warm emotional background of a joint meal. But that's another story.
