How to ignore other people's opinions
It seems that everyone you meet deliberately wants to offend - to push, to look disapprovingly. You feel like under the gun. And you seem to understand that you can't please everyone. But reproaches do not give a sigh of relief. Are gentle and kind people doomed to suffer? How can you put up a shield so that condemnation cannot break through and hurt the heart? How not to depend on someone else's opinion?
Do not take a step without looking back at the opinion of others. And people just strive to prick. It is bitter and insulting to receive a negative assessment. And you seem to understand that you can't please everyone. But reproaches do not give a sigh of relief. Are gentle and kind people doomed to suffer? How can you put up a shield so that condemnation cannot break through and hurt the heart? How not to depend on someone else's opinion?
This article will not teach you to give a damn about what others think. It will be about what kind of unconscious processes lead a person who is afraid of any comments in his address. Understanding the root causes of a problem is the most important step towards freeing yourself from the shackles of dependence on someone else's opinion. The training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan will help you gain inner core and self-confidence, even if your opinion will differ from those of others.
How to stop depending on the opinions of those around the most fragile and vulnerable
It seems that everyone you meet deliberately wants to offend - to push, to look disapprovingly. You feel like under the gun. Even a turtle has a protective shell, and a sensitive person has nothing to hide from negative external influences.
This is what nature intended - some people do not have "claws". They are very sensitive to the opinion of others about themselves. But they have their own special techniques to take place in life and stop feeling the constant danger from other people. To do this, you first need to realize your own characteristics.
The desire to please, to please, to receive praise comes from childhood and is natural for a child with an anal vector. He is dependent on the opinion of the main person in his life - his mother. However, the mother does not always understand how important praise is for the child, and therefore rarely praises. But not receiving from the mother an assessment of his job well done, not receiving approval from her, the child becomes insecure. He is afraid of doing something wrong, fear of making a mistake. In the presence of an emotional visual vector, all experiences receive a special emotional intensity.
"Mom will love you if you clean the room quickly." “Of course, go for a walk! I mean nothing to you if you can leave when mom is with a fever. " Mom's little manipulations lead to big psychological problems for the child in the future, up to the “good boy / girl complex”. If you do not realize the problem, the relationship of a matured person with society will be built according to the same infantile model.
A person with an anal vector appreciates quality in everything. And he makes the same demands on himself. He wants to be the best, to do everything perfectly, to have an impeccable reputation, family, to be known as a professional in his field. His natural desire is to be respected at home and at work. If he is not appreciated, his whole life seems to go awry.
The owner of the visual vector naturally strives to touch the strings of the soul of those around him, he wants to be the brightest and most impressive, loved by everyone. But if, according to the child's algorithm, one wants to be good for everyone as an adult, then difficulties arise. Such people are very sensitive to any criticism. For them, this is a manifestation of the dislike of others. And this is unbearable.
How not to depend on the opinions of others and to align your inner state?
The training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan shows that every person has natural desires. By implementing them for the benefit of society, we get a sense of inner comfort and joy of life.
But often we do not know our desires and rush at random in search of the right path. To get at least some support in life, the owners of the anal vector ask others for advice. They treat their elders with special respect, their life experience. Even when choosing new boots, they want an expert opinion: “What would you recommend?” …
But no one, except ourselves, can tell how we should be with our own life. After all, each “helper” looks through the prism of his values and desires, and they may have nothing to do with your desires.
So, blindly following the advice of a mother with a skin vector will lead a person with the properties of an anal vector to a joyless dead end. A fast, resourceful, dexterous mother, wanting the best, but focusing only on her abilities, will advise you to become a lawyer, economist or entrepreneur. Whereas a person with an anal vector does not have any internal resources for these professions, and such work will only bring him stress and a feeling of his own worthlessness.
When we understand ourselves, we cease to be plasticine in the hands of others. We choose our path unmistakably, relying on accurate knowledge of ourselves and the human psyche as a whole.
What to do with your opinion?
The owners of the anal-visual ligament of vectors consider themselves soft and not able to simply say "no", even if they do not want to agree at all. With such an internal state, life proceeds under the slogan: “I will do as you say. Just don't judge me! " …
This is due to two natural fears of such people:
- owners of the anal vector are afraid to disgrace themselves,
- the owners of the visual are the most fearful of all, at the root of all their fears lies the fear of death.
Unconscious fears dominate us. You can change the situation by realizing your fear and realizing the potential of your innate properties.
When a person does not go against his nature, he can show himself as efficiently as possible for society and for himself. For example, a person with an anal vector, who has an excellent memory, diligence and attentiveness, does not go to work as a sales manager, following advice, but becomes an analyst, teacher or artist at an inner call. If he studies, acquires skills and becomes an increasingly good specialist in a field that suits him by nature, he is not put into a stupor by the fear of disgrace.
The owners of the visual vector are born with the fear of death. They are not able to give a hard rebuff. But they have their own means of achieving inner comfort - self-realization in culture. Yuri Burlan at the training "System-vector psychology" reveals that culture appeared thanks to people with a particularly sensitive soul.
Spectators, experiencing fear for their lives, managed to transform it into empathy for others. They are the first to learn to feel compassion for another person, not hostility. They teach this to all mankind to this day - through their creativity, medical and charitable assistance. When there is a big goal, all forces are given to its implementation. The ability to help someone and the joy of self-realization leave no room for fear of the opinion of those who do not understand either themselves or anyone else.
A clear idea of life, other people and oneself is formed at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan. And then the question of how to stop depending on someone else's opinion no longer bothers.
The trainees talk about how they freed themselves from the fear of doing something wrong:
Critics and brawlers
Most people can have joyful relationships. But there are those from whom you really need to be able to protect yourself.
It happens that the owners of the anal vector, created to transfer skills and abilities to the younger generations, did not have adequate conditions for development, did not receive proper education. Such people continue to stubbornly stand on their limited idea of how it should be, without delving into the essence of the issue. Then the main thing for them becomes not "to clear the ointment from the barrel of honey", but, on the contrary, to criticize, denigrate and devalue.
Arguing with such people is like butting with an oak tree. Understanding that criticism is the only way to temporarily relieve tension for a person, you can not take his attacks seriously.
Another category of people dangerous to health is the owners of the oral vector, who have failed to develop and acquired a brawler's complex. Such people can plunge others into severe stress. Their scream is like an adrenaline injection. Someone falls into a stupor from him, someone flees. Having acquired the skill of systems thinking, you will be able to get away from unwanted contact by anticipating the danger in advance.
How to choose your path in life
Experience the taste of pleasure from fulfilling your desires. Without the tinsel of other people's opinions and their own chronic injuries. Awareness of their characteristics and principles of human-human interaction will allow you to consciously choose your path through life and enjoy every moment of it.
