Break Up With A Loved One. Should Life End There?

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Break Up With A Loved One. Should Life End There?
Break Up With A Loved One. Should Life End There?
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Video: Why You Shouldn't Mourn The Death Of A Loved One | Neale Donald Walsch 2023, February

Break with a loved one. Should life end there?

On that day, Alexey, a young guy who had worked in the authorities for only a year, as usual joined the order for the protection of public order, received a service weapon and, together with his partner, went around the route. He did not behave as usual, he was constantly "immersed in the telephone", was in active correspondence with someone and did not pay attention to those around him. Passing by one of the guarded objects, Alexey told his partner that he needed to go to the toilet and asked to wait. After waiting long enough, Alexey's partner decided to look for him and found him in the form in which the operatives who arrived on call saw him …

The investigative-operational group works at the scene. The militiamen are unusually sullen. You can't hear the usual "black" jokes, loud cursing, shouts. This is because the case is not an ordinary one: their colleague died. The body of a young man in uniform lies on the floor in one of the toilet cubicles. Nearby, in a spreading pool of blood, is his service pistol and his mobile phone.

On that day, Aleksey, a young guy who had worked in the authorities for only a year, as usual joined the detachment for the protection of public order, received a service weapon and, together with his partner, went around the route. He did not behave as usual, he was constantly "immersed in the phone", was in active correspondence with someone and did not pay attention to those around him. Passing by one of the guarded objects, Alexey told his partner that he needed to go to the toilet and asked to wait. After waiting long enough, Alexei's partner decided to look for him and found him in the form in which the operatives who arrived on call saw him.

Having completed the inspection of the scene, the investigator examined the items seized during his production, after which the picture gradually began to clear up. It was already clear from the examination that the most probable cause of death was a crossbow, that is, suicide by a shot from a firearm.

The location of the pistol and the corpse, the nature and localization of the bullet hole, the presence of soot on Alexei's wrist - all indicated that the point-blank shot had been fired by him. When the investigator studied the correspondence in the mobile phone, the motives for such a terrible act became clear: the last SMS message addressed to his ex-girlfriend was as follows: "Call me or I will kill myself."

School love

A thoroughly conducted pre-investigation check established the following. Alexey met his first love in high school in a small town in the countryside, where he was born and grew up. Irina was a year younger than him, and when this tall, handsome guy, an excellent student and an athlete known throughout the school, invited her on a date, she could not resist.

Their relationship developed rapidly: acquaintance with their parents and a marriage proposal were already behind when Alexey decided to fulfill his old dream - to become a law enforcement officer. It was decided to postpone the wedding until he received an education. Alexey went far from his home to study at a police school, where he showed one of the best results on the course, and after graduation was sent to serve in one of the most criminally prone areas of the capital region of the country.

At this time, he rarely saw Irina. Once every one or two months, Alexei received a weekend "leave of absence" to go home. Irina visited him even less often because of her strong employment with her studies. Alexei was still in love with her, like a schoolboy, and he paid absolutely no attention to the girls who studied with him on the course, as well as to those whom he met outside of school, but was faithful to his first and only love.

Break with a loved one
Break with a loved one

Irina's things were not so simple. Left without her man, she did not feel protected enough. She lacked male attention. Their relationship with Alexei, which went into the plane of the telephone and the Internet, their rare dates were less and less satisfied with her. And she was not particularly chaste and too modest: when dealing with guys, she did not go into her pocket for a word, and for entertainment she could afford light flirting. In addition, she was very beautiful, her slender figure, pretty face, thin melodic voice and flapping eyes always attracted men, so there were always plenty of people who wanted to "hit" her.

Over time, she began to accept the courtship of other guys, began to go on dates, mainly with men who were older than her and, moreover, quite wealthy.

A systematic view of relationships

Such differences in the behavior of Alexei and Irina are quite understandable and predictable from the standpoint of the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.

The human psyche is a mosaic made up of vectors, which are a set of properties, desires and abilities that are assigned to a person from birth and determine his way of thinking and behavior both in society and in a couple.

Alexey is the owner of a developed anal vector in the psyche. People with this vector attach great importance to the first experience of relationships with the opposite sex, this experience has a decisive influence on their future life. By nature, "guards of the primitive cave", protectors of women and children, with normal development such men become the best heads of families: reliable and faithful husbands, caring and responsible parents.

Unfortunately, if the first experience of sexual intercourse with a woman has become negative for them, anal men become hostages of the strongest resentment, which literally prevents them from living. It interferes with action, does not allow to take place in life. They become misogynists, all women are called "whore …", suffer from loneliness and misunderstanding. Surely the reader has seen such men in places where dogs are walking. Often, unable to start a family due to resentment, they spend their whole life in the company of only dogs.

Irina is, according to system-vector psychology, a skin-visual woman. Such a combination of vectors is quite rare, but the owners of the optic cutaneous ligament are always in sight. For example, we can cite Marilyn Monroe, Lyubov Orlova, Audrey Hepburn. Spectacular and attractive women who make an indelible impression on all men without exception. A skin-visual woman by nature easily establishes emotional ties with men, since more than other representatives of the fair sex she needs to get a sense of security and safety from a man, which is due to her vector features.

Left alone, he experiences the strongest fear for his life, lack of confidence in himself and in the future. Poor conditions of skin-visual women, resulting from a loss of a sense of security and safety, can provoke the occurrence of phobias, panic attacks and psychosomatic disorders.

Returning to the heroes of the article, on the basis of systemic knowledge, we can conclude that, due to a long separation from Alexei, Irina lost her emotional connection with him, and at the same time the same feeling of security and safety that she was trying to get from other men again. Alexey was faithful to his first school love, so he kept his distance in relationships with other girls.

The end of the relationship
The end of the relationship


In a small town, as you know, you can't hide an awl in a sack. Alexey soon learned about Irina's "dirty" behavior from mutual friends. This news literally drove him crazy. He called her, made scenes of jealousy, apologized at the meeting, begged not to leave him. She assured him that she sometimes just spends time with friends and acquaintances and that she has nothing serious with any of them. Such explanations did not calm Alexei, on the contrary, he became very irritable, sometimes even aggressive, especially towards women. One day, after watching Irina with another "gentleman", he made a disgusting scene right in front of passers-by, humiliated and forced to flee the guy who was with her, and also hit her in a fit of rage.

After that, Irina finally decided that everything was over between them, she left and no longer answered calls, avoided meetings, and quite quickly found herself a new young man.

Alexey, although he accused Irina of infidelity and betrayal, could not leave her alone. He changed a lot: he became withdrawn, uncommunicative, sullen, besides, he ate almost nothing, lost sleep, his shoulders slumped, and his face became unusually pale. Irina became an obsession for him. He literally pursued her everywhere, begged her to forgive him, assured that he loved her more than life, asked to give him another chance. She avoided contact.

This behavior of Alexei is explained by the violation of the need for a sense of justice, which is very important for an anal person, and also by resentment against a woman who turned out to be not "clean". The psyche of the owner of the anal vector requires equality in everything, including in relations with his beloved. Monogamous by nature, reliable and loyal, Alexey could not forgive another attitude towards him on the part of Irina.

In addition, for an anal person, who in a normal state is in a good sense a perfectionist, an expert in his field, cleanliness in everything is very important: from the floors in the apartment to the moral state of others, especially a partner in a relationship.

If you don't love me, I will kill myself

The parents of both guys were very worried about the guy, tried to help him come to terms with Irina. She even agreed to meet with him to finally sort out the relationship. At this meeting, the first alarm bell sounded.

Sitting in Alexey's car, Irina told him that she had forgiven him, but no longer felt any feelings for him, and further relations between them were impossible. Alexei became extremely nervous. He took the girl into the forest, took out a towing cable from the trunk, folded it into a loop and threw it on a tree branch, after which he announced that if Irina did not return to him, he would immediately hang himself. The girl was very scared and, as best she could, reassured Alexei, after which he felt very ashamed of his behavior, he took her home and left her alone for a while.

Then another bell rang. Once a guy who rented an apartment with Alexei heard a crash in the next room. Entering Alexey, he saw the latter standing next to a chandelier that had fallen from the ceiling. Alexey awkwardly explained that he had accidentally hooked on the chandelier while passing, and it fell. This guy, Aleksey's neighbor, knew about his problem with his girlfriend, he also remembered how Aleksey had recently taken an iron from him, because his iron, as he put it, “had a loose cord”. The guy sensed something was wrong. After waiting for Alexei to go to work, he searched his room and found a cord from an iron under the bed, which was rolled into a loop. He informed Alexey's father about this find.

Blackmail by suicide
Blackmail by suicide

Then family and friends sounded the alarm. They did not leave Alexei alone, for a long time they persuaded him to turn to a psychotherapist. Alexey, although he understood that he needed help, did not agree to this, since he believed that he would be disgraced if his work colleagues found out about it. He assured the relatives that this is a temporary whim and will soon pass, he will cope with it.

For several months he really behaved normally and even became, as it were, more open and sociable, although he still did not show interest in girls.

As it turned out later, on the night before his suicide, Alexei left the capital for his city and for the last time tried to return Irina, whom he met in a nightclub, and again to no avail.

The next day, Alexei shot himself in the temple.

A systematic view of the problem of suicide

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan for the first time gives an answer to the question about the causes of suicide, moreover, it makes it possible to diagnose suicidal tendencies in a person in a timely manner and even completely get rid of them.

Suicidal tendencies are most often manifested in owners of a sound vector in a state of severe depression. Of course, any person can be driven to suicide, for example, by forcing him to experience the strongest social shame. But it is the suicidal behavior caused by internal reasons, such as the feeling of the meaninglessness of life, as a result of which prolonged depression occurs, that is characteristic only of the owner of the sound vector.

People who have a visual vector in their psychic, since ancient times, have the greatest emotional amplitude ranging from panic fear for their lives to absolute self-sacrifice out of love for other people. In a developed and realized state, the visual person brings his fear out through the emotions of compassion and empathy for other people, and this fear turns into real earthly love. It is these people who are the creators of culture and morality, the disseminators of the ideas of humanism in society, true and selfless philanthropists.

When the visual vector is not realized, such a person experiences a lack of emotions and tries in all possible, not always adequate ways to make up for this lack of attention and love. In their emotional buildup, they can cause scandals, tantrums and even blackmail loved ones with suicide.

Suicide after breaking up with a loved one
Suicide after breaking up with a loved one

Unrequited love in the visual vector, reinforced by a feeling of resentment in the anal vector, can induce a person to attempt suicide, and a demonstrative suicide, always in sight of the object of hurt feelings. This is a kind of blackmail. If such a person also has deficiencies in the overdominant sound vector, as a result of which he loses the sense of meaningfulness of life, then suicide can become a reality.

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan makes it possible to understand the true causes of their bad states. We have the opportunity not only to truly get to know ourselves, to understand the sources of those problems and contradictions that prevent us from getting pleasure from life, but also to completely get rid of resentment, love addictions, learn how to effectively and without prejudice to ourselves interact with other people and receive pleasure from it.

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