How to communicate with people: we easily find a common language with everyone
It often happens that just sitting at the already broken trough, we begin to ask questions: “Why don't people want to communicate with me? Why has my daughter stopped communicating with me, or is my son ignoring my calls? How to find a common language with your parents?"
I seem to speak Russian. And there are no foreigners around me. And the feeling is that no one understands me. And how to communicate with them is not clear.
Take a husband, for example. Probably, twenty times already dripped on the brain: “Vasya, fix the tap! Vasya, fix the tap! Well, how else to say? Did I say something incomprehensible? Does not help. But I know for sure that about once on the fiftieth I risk waiting for him to just grunt with a fist on the back with his fist. There was already a case … That's how, in general, you can find a common language with this person, eh ?!
And it's no better with my daughter. Some kind of fifa grows, forever "in the image." Gathering to the kindergarten every morning is a real torment. First, we change the blouses a hundred times, because "this one is not so pretty, but that one lacks shiny rhinestones." I explain in normal Russian: frost in the yard! What rhinestones? A warm, practical sweater is needed. And she was in tears.
The road to the kindergarten is a real hard labor. Here are some other words to explain that we are late ?! “Oh, look how the snowflakes are shining here! Oh, what kind of cat is running, she's probably cold, let's take it home? My teeth are already grinding with grinding, but this is not at all from the frost.
Mother-in-law is just another story. Unfortunately, not without words. Just the words there, well, a lot, rumbles like a magpie. And he still languishes over my faithful, as if it’s for him to go to the kindergarten in the morning: “How are you, Vassenka, my little gold? It's cold outside, don't forget to put on your scarf!"
Just now I tried to hint on my head that it is no longer necessary for an adult man to call mommy thirty times a day. His nostrils were already flared, and his jaw protruded forward: “How can you ?! This is MOMA !!! All right, put out the light, I can't take it anymore
In a swamp of misunderstanding
In fact, relationships between people often break down precisely because of the inability to understand each other. Due to misunderstanding, the husband and wife are at odds with the children, or the children stop communicating with their parents. And to understand how to communicate with a mother-in-law or mother-in-law is generally beyond reality, a task not for the faint of heart.
It often happens that just sitting at the already broken trough, we begin to ask questions: “Why don't people want to communicate with me? Why has my daughter stopped communicating with me, or is my son ignoring my calls? How to find a common language with your parents?"
In such a situation, it is very painful for us: after all, it is often a question of breaking up with the closest and dearest people.
Why we don't understand each other
Indeed, sometimes it seems that we speak different languages. Why is this happening?
The fact is that we are equally structured only outwardly: each has legs, arms and head. But a person lives by his thoughts and desires, values and attitudes, innate inclinations and natural qualities. In a word, his psyche. And here we are completely different, since the set of our natural qualities and properties, which in Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology are called vectors, is different for everyone.
However, without a systemic perception of the psyche of another person, we cannot understand the reasons and motives of his actions, they seem strange to us. After all, we see them and try to evaluate it through ourselves. "Here I would, for example … In his place, I would never … Is it really not clear to him that …"
Of course, he doesn't understand. It is different and arranged differently.
There is simply no other way, except to understand how we are arranged. Want to know how to communicate with people? Then let's get started!
Vassenka the slow-moving
Here is Vassenka in front of us. By the way, the best husband and father. I was not noticed in adultery, it blows off dust particles from my daughter. True, sometimes it sticks to its sofa so that you can't peel it off with ticks. And he always puts off fixing the notorious tap until tomorrow.
Vassenka needs a certain approach. This person is naturally slow and unhurried, it takes him more time to complete the task than the others. But if you do not jerk him or rush him, you can be sure that no one will be able to cope with the repair of the crane better than him. Because it works the same way: slowly, carefully and efficiently, "conscientiously".
For such a person, gratitude and respect are very important. Especially within the framework of his family: after all, as Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology explains, it is vitally important for the owner of the anal vector to feel that he is the real master of the house.
Bullet wife
But his wife, the owner of the skin vector, sees Vasya in a completely different way. For her, he is a "brake" and "how many more times to repeat." She evaluates him through her own qualities: she is naturally fast, agile, appreciates time and saves resources.
She endlessly tugs and urges Vasya, and from this he falls even more into a stupor. In addition, instead of gratitude and respect, he constantly stumbles upon the "Friendship chainsaw" in the person of his own life friend. When Vasya's patience (very long, but not infinite) finally bursts, his wife gets the dubious pleasure of contemplating the "dark side of the anal vector" - assault.
Daughter-cotton-eyed
And maybe both would spit and run away, but children appear in the family. In our case - a sweet, unearthly creature with wide eyes.
“Oh, what a beautiful flower! Oh, what a blue sky! - the little owner of the visual vector observes life in such bright colors. Our “sweet married couple” have no idea that they have a future actress or artist, ballerina or designer. With a favorable upbringing, such a girl may well grow into a deeply compassionate person capable of actively helping the sick and weak.
But without a systemic perception, a practical skin mother sees in her a fool who is simply unadapted to life, who cannot even understand that in winter it is necessary to dress warmly, and not beautifully. And her dad periodically scares her, as a joke. True, after these jokes, the emotional and hypersensitive spectator is frightened not only by the darkness, but even by her own shadow.
There is no demand, but nobody canceled the consequences
In fact, until we are aware of the psychological characteristics of not only other people, but even our own, there is no demand from us. After all, no one taught us the basics of psychological literacy at school.
Nevertheless, we receive the negative consequences in full. We do not know how to find a common language with a person, because we do not understand what he lives and breathes. What features does it have by nature?
And we are paying with the breakdown of the family, the loss of relations with children and even our social realization. We also work among people.
The only alternative to these losses is our psychological literacy, the ability to see another person as he is.
Educational program for a happy life
The main result of Yuri Burlan's training in system-vector psychology is the ability to live happily among other people, it is easy to find a common language. More than 18,000 people have already left their feedback on how easy it has become for them to understand their children and marriage partners, friends and colleagues.
After the training, the barriers between us break down, and communication begins to bring pleasure:
We are aware of the reasons and motives of our parents' actions, and this helps us get rid of the long-term burden of mutual claims and grievances:
Relationships in a couple begin to build on the basis of a deep understanding of the characteristics of a partner and bring mutual happiness:
We become able to understand our children, we are aware of their innate properties and talents, and we grow up happy and fulfilled personalities:
Are you interested in how to communicate with an adult child? Or maybe you can't figure out how to find a common language with your parents? Not sure how to communicate with your mother-in-law, mother-in-law or a tough boss at work?
In system-vector psychology, there are answers to any such question. Register for free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan using the link.
