Rudeness and rudeness destroy me. How to live with it
If we, educated and cultured people, know how to cope with stress, do not pour out our frustrations on others, then, as a rule, we expect other people to behave in the same way. Rudeness and rudeness take us by surprise every time. This is why it is always unpleasant and painful. However, people with different vectors will react differently in such a situation.
In the morning, it happens, I get up in a good mood, but surely someone tries to spoil it. I ride in transport, I don't bother anyone. And suddenly a hefty man rushing to the exit, like a tank, sweeping away everyone in its path. Including me. At least I would apologize!
Partners come to work. And it would be okay on the case. And then they just start yelling into the phone that it's all my fault. And what am I to blame? I don't know at all what happened there. It's a shame when they shout at you like that, and even with obscene words!
In the store, the saleswoman behaves as if everyone owes her. An unobtrusive service. A derogatory look. And how did I deserve this? I’ll never come here again and buy anything from her! Let them go broke if they don't give a damn about the buyer.
In the evening of this day I feel like a squeezed lemon. I am simply destroyed by the rudeness and rudeness of people. I’m probably too sensitive, I can’t stand it. Why do people behave worse than animals? Ready to gnaw each other's throats. How to live in such a world? With these thoughts, every morning I hardly push myself out into the street … I am already afraid of people, because I expect a harsh word and a sidelong glance from everyone. But you still need to go out. How to deal with your sensitivity? After all, you cannot change others …
To tolerate or understand?
The problem is quite solvable if we use the knowledge about human psychology - the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan. It makes it possible to deal with any problem quickly and efficiently due to the fact that a person begins to understand himself and the people around him. Not just enduring and persuading yourself that, they say, people are like that, you need to forgive, but deeply realize why people behave this way, why I react this way. This very awareness changes our perception of the world around us and, as a result, our reactions to it, increases our resistance to stress.
Why are they rude?
The enmity arose with man, when members of the ancient flock were still competing for food. The first taboo laws banned killing within the pack and limited food intake to preserve it for a rainy day so that the pack would survive when an unsuccessful hunt happened.
Who will love this? Man was created for pleasure and with great reluctance endures any restrictions that prevent him from receiving this pleasure. And food is the first and greatest pleasure for a person. Thus, the restriction on an additional desire for food was projected in primitive society onto others - the desire to eat a neighbor, but this desire, of course, was taboo. "I want and I can not!" - it is in this tension that the strongest dislike for other people arises.
Therefore, since the time of the first taboos, people unconsciously feel hostility towards each other, but are forced to transform it into socially useful activity. After all, any adequate person understands that he cannot survive without those around him. We are all dependent on each other.
Culture helps us to restrain hostility, which, through the development of a sense of empathy and the elevation of life to the rank of the highest value, allows us not to "eat" each other. The culture is instilled from childhood. The child absorbs the cultural values of the surrounding society and gradually begins to understand that it is customary in society to be polite, respect elders, not offend those who are weaker than you. However, not all people develop a cultural layer successfully - due to the lack of proper education and the right environment. The absence of cultural restrictions can become the reason that rudeness is a way of life for a person.
But it also happens that a seemingly cultured and well-mannered person suddenly breaks down into rudeness. The fact is that it is very difficult to restrain hostility when we are seized by bad states or over-stress, when we lack realization and chronic dissatisfaction has accumulated inside. A person unconsciously blames others for this, sees in them the cause of his misfortunes, and here it gets to everyone who comes to hand.
When a person fully realizes his properties for the benefit of society and for his own pleasure, his psyche is in a balanced state. When we feel good, then hostility simply does not arise.
The manifestations of rudeness are not accidental and depend on the properties-vectors of a person. For example, the owner of the anal vector, in the event of frustration, is inclined to swear in the dirtiest words, humiliate and hurt. In the presence of a developed intellect, such a person uses profanity much less often, rather, he clothe offensive and devaluating meanings in a quite decent form. Skin-oral querulant - will throw a scandal, so much so that it will numb everyone around. And the owner of an unrealized visual vector is hysterical. And you really won't have anything to do with it - you just fall under their arm. Having systemic knowledge, you will understand what is the real reason for their rudeness and rudeness (following the links, you can learn more about it), and their behavior will no longer cause you the same pain. Moreover, by gradually practicing systemic understanding,you will begin to notice that you even sympathize with the poor fellow who is so bad that he rushes at people.
However, you should not forget about safety precautions - it is better to stay away from some frustrated personalities.
Why am I reacting this way?
If we, educated and cultured people, know how to cope with stress, do not pour out our frustrations on others, then, as a rule, we expect other people to behave in the same way. Rudeness and rudeness take us by surprise every time. This is why it is always unpleasant and painful. However, people with different vectors will react differently in such a situation.
It's a shame
Owners of the anal vector do not tolerate sharp manifestations of hostility due to their resentment. They suffer for a long time from the feeling of injustice committed against them. In general, only they are capable of experiencing a real offense, because only they have a very good memory and like to remember the past. This is how their psyche is arranged, and not by chance. After all, their purpose is to transfer knowledge and experience to future generations. This means that their desire is to study this experience, turning their gaze to the past.
But it also happens that the owner of the anal vector does not adequately realize this desire in work and everyday life, therefore he becomes obsessed with unpleasant memories. And his resentment only grows every day. She gnaws, sucking the last energy out of a person. So it turns out that in the evening he is like a squeezed lemon from such experiences.
People, you are animals
Especially sensitive to rudeness are very kind and emotional people who, like no one else, value relationships with others - the owners of the visual vector. Love, emotional connections are the meaning of their life. Culture as a way of limiting hostility between people is their invention. The essence of the visual vector is anti-murder. Life in any of its manifestations is the greatest value. It is a pity for the spectator to kill even a mosquito, let alone offend a person. Therefore, sometimes people seem to him to be dangerous predators, in their hatred capable of tearing apart a defenseless visual person. The spectator is not a beast, he is a MAN. Therefore, "People, you are animals!" - his frequent feeling, and "Guys, let's live together!" - his greatest desire.
The visual vector is a huge emotional amplitude. And his basic emotion is fear. Often a visual person who did not develop his feelings in childhood from fear to compassion suffers from fears all his life. Phobias and anxieties fill his life even in case of insufficient realization of his enormous emotional potential. And one of these fears is the fear of people, social phobia.
When a visual person lives in a state of fear, people begin to seem to him like animals, and any rudeness or rudeness is destructive. To such an extent that you don't want to leave the house so as not to meet these angry and scary people.
Turn down the volume
Representatives of the sound vector are sensitive to the meanings inherent in words. And if rudeness and rudeness are dressed up in loud speech, and even with the use of obscene expressions, it hurts the sound engineer to such an extent that he wants to cover his ears, close up, run away, hide. Words seem to cut for a living!
Introvert and egocentric, he can hardly tolerate such a gross interference in his world. Often it seems to him that he is the smartest (he is really given the greatest intellectual potential, which, however, is not always revealed), and when in the senses or directly he is pointed out that he is an idiot, it hurts his self-esteem very painfully. Especially if the sound engineer himself is in a state of dissatisfaction, a fruitless sound search for meaning. In this case, hatred of people increases even more - to such an extent that you don't want to see them, you don't want to communicate, you don't want to leave your home.
How to increase stress resistance
Awareness of the deep mechanisms of the psyche changes the perception of the people around. Having knowledge of system-vector psychology, you already notice not only external manifestations, but also the internal states of a person, the reasons that push him to destructive actions, and this gives incredible stress resistance.
A deeper understanding of oneself allows one to more fully realize the properties of one's vectors, and this gives a state of satisfaction, fullness, avoids negative states. And that changes a lot. After all, when I myself am in bad states from lack of realization, it is already stress, and when splashes of dissatisfaction of another person are superimposed on my experiences, it is a double blow.
So, when emotions are used for their intended purpose - in communication, in love, in creating emotional connections - then fears go away, and sympathy arises in relation to people. When the desire to collect experience, systematize and structure it to the maximum is used in professional activities or at least is realized in a hobby, there is no desire to accumulate grievances. When you understand people deeply, you realize the reasons for their behavior - instead of the desire to hide, interest in them appears.
Do you want to be smiled at?
Those who have completed Yuri Burlan's training "System Vector Psychology" note an interesting phenomenon - people on the street suddenly start smiling at them, offering help or, conversely, asking for it, making unexpected gifts, giving discounts in stores and willingly hiring them. “What kind of mysticism? It can not be!" - you say. However, there are hundreds of reviews on this on the portal of system-vector psychology. Here is some of them.
There is nothing surprising. A person who has acquired systemic thinking changes the mental state. And, as Yuri Burlan says at the training, states “smell”. The more balanced you are, the more attractive your scent, the pheromone background that people unconsciously sense. They are attracted by the smell of a happy person, they feel good next to you, they relax in your presence. They feel that you understand them and have no dislike for them. And this is so nice in the modern world, where there is so much rudeness and rudeness.
