Physical abuse of children, or Confessions of an insane mother
What does our present pain mean in comparison with the pain that we drive into our children with the help of physical strength? All these troubles, ruined plans, disorder in personal life, loss of respect, fear of what people will say, household and financial problems - all this is worth nothing. Nothing is worth the ruined soul of a child and the lost connection with him forever.
Is there a chance to save your children from a bad fate?
What do we know about physical abuse of children? The pain we inflict on our children cannot be measured or justified. Abused children are deprived of a happy future. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains this in full.
But I found out about it much later …
How he pisses me off
He did it all wrong again. As if on purpose to spite me. Would kill!
And I hit him. I hit it with all my might, swing it, with an iron hanger from the closet. What do I want to tell him? That I hate him? Oh yeah! At this point, I really hate him. And my desire is to teach me a lesson, to punish me for everything that he has done to me. For all the troubles, difficulties and troubles that came to me with his birth.
I am evil. I take out a huge, all-hating evil on him. I drive into it.
And then I lose heart. I see clearly and see my little helpless boy, who has accepted everything and resigned himself to the blows. He no longer cries, but lies in silence, completely agreeing with the execution for nothing. I cry over him, trying to hug him. But he pushes me away.
He does not want to be hugged by the executioner, who at that moment killed all the feelings in him. One and all. And somewhere deep inside I feel how the invisible future tells me: “You will cry for this, you will cry and pay. But it will be too late."
This was the last time I hit my son, but not the first. And once I swore to myself, crying with resentment into my pillow, that I would never raise my children like my mother. Unfortunately, violence against children in the family, moral or physical, is sometimes “inherited”.
The consequences are inevitable
My son is 20. For a long time I have not needed anything of what was important 20 years ago. I want only one thing - the love of my son, a connection with him. To be a witness to his life, a participant and a loved one. But before me are cold eyes and someone else's gaze.
He does not feel what the child feels about the mother. He might be happy, but he cannot. He no longer has that "organ" with which one feels. In his short life, he saw everything. Scandals, tantrums, father's bullying of mother, divorce, mother's attempts to improve her personal life.
He got hit for everything, and I didn't even notice when he stopped responding to my hysterical screams. Remembering our past life, I do not see a single bright day, a good memory, for which my son could cling to and want to communicate with me, live happily.
What to do now? I dont know. Help…
Is there protection from violence
Who beats women and children? Why? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan reveals that physical violence in the family is used by men and women with a special structure of the psyche. Those who are born to be ideal parents, husbands, wives. These are people in whose psyche there is an anal vector.
Potentially, these are the best people in society, guarantors of family values. Oddly enough, but precisely such metamorphoses occur with the best people of society, if they were wrongly brought up in childhood, and in adult life they did not have the opportunity to realize themselves.
It is possible to get out of such states. Studying the hidden unconscious processes that govern us, opening them, we get the opportunity to change our destiny for the better. You can't wave a magic wand and change everything at once. But the chain of consequences of such cruel treatment can be stopped. And you need to be in time.
Are there levers in society that protect against violence
Upbringing with a stick, the use of physical force against the most defenseless creature has somehow been tacitly accepted in many families for a long time. The husband beats his wife, the mother beats the children, the cycle of physical violence in the family cannot be stopped without new, radical measures.
The current laws only slightly condemn violence against children and women, but do not address this problem. Centers for the protection of mothers and children, guardianship and guardianship agencies, rehabilitation and psychological centers will not accommodate and will not heal all these wounded and crippled souls. Today, children and women know where to go when they find themselves in such a situation, but they do not go. Specialists of social services, psychologists and lawyers who work in such centers will provide support and advice on how to protect yourself in the event of a physical threat to life and health. But what difference does that make?
System-vector psychology teaches how to recognize a tyrant capable of physical violence in the family.
But why do women do it? How does it happen that an ideal mother begins to beat her child with some kind of monstrous rapture? Women and men with an anal vector are the same in their negative manifestations. And as in the case of the tyrant husband, so in this case, the causes of violence against children are a consequence of offenses and the lack of realization of the properties of the anal vector.
A terrible tension inside pushes us to beat and educate with a fist, a stick. Yes, everyone that comes to hand. And from this action to receive "perverted" pleasure - after all, for a while the tension subsides. Resentment and lack of fulfillment, loss of security and safety, sexual dissatisfaction push a woman, ideally a better mother, to physically abuse her own child.
What a mark leaves physical abuse of children
My son has anal, visual and sound vectors. He was a kind and docile boy who loved hugs. I remember his large open eyes with fluffy long eyelashes, a clean and trusting look.
This look is now my judge. My evil writhes at the mere recollection of those childish clear eyes. Now in this place callousness and indifference. His anal vector expresses itself in toilet vocabulary and disrespect for women, rancor and resentment. The excellent memory inherent in people with the anal vector now only works to save and remember grievances.
Its sound vector, blocked from my screams and insults, has long been drowned on the Internet. And that's all. There is nothing else. He closed in on himself.
Once he could talk excitedly about the structure of the universe, black holes, time, space and other wonders of the universe. This was his passion. And I was tormented by depression, lack of meaning in life, which even maternal instinct, loneliness and fear of tomorrow could not overcome. I refused to accept that reality, and my son grew up in it alone.
It could be different
He could become an intelligent, honest and decent family man, the head of the family. The anal vector gives birth to golden people for whom family values are above all. Professionalism, quality, analytical mind, powerful memory give such a person every opportunity to become respected and in demand in society.
He could have remained a loving son. And also a caring husband and father. The visual vector endows a person with a kind, loving heart, capable of great spiritual dedication.
He could find himself in science, study new facets of the universe and find his own meaning. The sound vector, endowing a person with abstract intelligence, helps to find answers to the deepest questions about the meaning of human life on earth. Such people go to science, literature, compose music, invent new technologies.
But I did everything so that my son would spend days on the Internet, swear in dirty words in chats, close the door in front of me and be silent in response. I did it with my own hands.
This is what physical abuse does to our children. And this is far from the limit of the dire consequences.
Children don't deserve violence, even if the whole world collapses. This is your choice
Do you still think that you are right in raising your children with physical strength and screaming? You have no idea where this road leads you. Whatever the reason for your poor condition, children do not deserve to be abused.
What does our present pain mean compared to the pain that we drive into our children with the help of physical strength? All these troubles, ruined plans, disorder in personal life, loss of respect, fear of what people will say, household and financial problems - all this is worth nothing. Nothing is worth the ruined soul of a child and the lost connection with him forever.
Beaten and humiliated children will never return love to you. Moreover, life itself will not answer them with either love, luck or happiness. Physical and mental abuse never goes unnoticed.
Save yourself and save your children! While the child has not yet finished puberty, he is associated with the mother. This means you have a chance to save your child and yourself too. Save the future, which every day gets further and will disappear altogether, if you do not stop in your madness.
By being aware of your state of mind, you can fix everything, you gain calmness, confidence and understanding of what is happening. And most importantly, understanding your child, his nature and innate properties. You become a real person, not a lump of resentment or a shapeless piece of anxiety and fear. And your child feels it, his internal states also come back to normal. Hundreds of people who once came to Yuri Burlan's training in systemic vector psychology write about real changes in their relationship with children. They were in time!
Give system-vector psychology a chance to change your attitude towards life, yourself, children, people, finally. To everything that moves you and gnaws, that does not allow you to sleep peacefully and live happily. Hurry up not to be late, so that later it would not be bitter to look into your child's cold eyes and wait for a forgotten old age in an elderly home. Be human, become human, and raise happy children.
What should those who did not have time to do?
Knowledge of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology helps to comprehend life anew, taking responsibility for oneself and doing everything possible in order to understand and realize what is happening in full. When a person realizes himself in relationships with others, understands the cause-and-effect relationships of what is happening, he has a chance to correct the situation.
Whatever mistakes we make, we must make every effort to make our children as little responsible for them as possible before life. This is possible only with knowledge of system-vector psychology. One day the children will follow your example. Until then, let your result be an example.
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