Signs of depression. How to bring back the joy of life
I looked at my friend and closed my eyes. "God, what nonsense is this man talking about … Signs of depression, pills, some incomprehensible specialist … Who does he take me for?"
What can be considered the main signs of depression? Personally, my friend showed me the following list:
- Lowered self-esteem, feelings of despair, anxiety, constant fatigue.
- Complete loss of interest in everything that used to bring pleasure, lethargy, apathy.
- The desire to limit oneself from contacts with people around, the desire to "lock oneself in four walls."
- The emergence of cravings for alcohol and drugs.
- Fixation on the negative sides of life, a feeling of worthlessness and uselessness, suicidal thoughts.
- Violation of sleep and wakefulness, insomnia, loss of interest in sexual life.
“See a specialist. I know one good one. He will write you some pills and he will feel better! - advised my friend, patting me on the shoulder.
I looked at my friend and closed my eyes. "God, what nonsense is this man talking about … Signs of depression, pills, some incomprehensible specialist … Who does he take me for?"
For some reason, modern society is arranged in such a way that if you are suddenly dissatisfied with the reality around you, then you are probably endlessly ill. After all, everything around is so wonderful! No wars, no hunger. Everyone works, buys expensive cars, uses fancy smartphones. They strive for something, they run somewhere. They graduate from universities, climb up the career ladder. They live, they eat, they sleep. And if you think that all of them are a stupid herd, striving for some false values dictated to you from the zombie box, then you are probably completely an ass. Or a psycho. And you definitely need to go to the shrinkwrap so that your wrong brains can finally get you right. Swallow the wheel and rejoice with everyone like a fool. And do not spoil everyone else's mood with your dull countenance and your dull mood.
All that remains is to lock yourself where annoying people with annoying advice will not reach you. "You have signs of latent depression!" Well this must be said. Wherever you spit, psychologists and philosophers are everywhere, who know more than you how to live correctly. For example, you do not live correctly, because you are sitting at home like a tree stump and ask too many unnecessary questions: why and why.
And really … Why? What is the meaning of all this incomprehensible running, bustle, noise? Home - work - home - work. Is it all called life?
I have absolutely nothing to strive for, because I do not feel any desires, any joy from those things that the majority pray for. They say to me: "And you try!" But I give up right at the start, because I see no reason to start. I must be really crazy. Excess. Hopeless.
And if these are signs of deep depression, then this very depression lasts for my whole life. Starting from the mother, whose favorite phrase is: "I wish I had an abortion!" Indeed, I would have done better. I did not ask me to give birth to this world where nobody needs me - even my own parents, who consider me almost the most important mistake of their whole life.
A person comes to this world alone. And he leaves him just as lonely. What is our life compared to eternity? What does my life mean in this world? What difference does the universe make to whether I exist or not? Probably, if someone is up there - some bearded god, then he obviously laughed a lot when he created me in his image and likeness. The tree is known by its fruits. And if I am the fruit of a tree called God, then … God is probably very, very dumb and a failure. Actually, who else could have created this unfinished world, completely devoid of meaning? It was as if a child had made a whole city out of plasticine, but forgot to put it in a box. So the plasticine men live, thinking that they are fulfilling some special purpose. And his (this purpose) never existed. They are just trash, biomass. Dumb, thoughtless.
And if this biomass knew what it was like to feel like the only intelligent creature in a large insane asylum, they would once and for all lag behind me with their attempts to "treat" me and look for the first signs of depression, with their eternal desire to pull me out of the shell, "Make a normal person", like everyone else. Cheerful, cheerful, full of aspirations and desires.
It got to the point that one very smart aunt said that all my signs of severe depression are congenital. That I am so sad because my body does not produce the necessary hormones of joy. Therefore, I am destined to suffer. Or you can live your whole life on pills that help the body to fill the lack of that very hormone. Only here I did not feel happiness from such "wheels". Only a feeling of dullness and emptiness. If this is happiness, then I'd rather sit quietly in depression.
I feel bad. I really feel bad. I want silence, I want to fall asleep and not wake up again. So that in the end some meteorite would fall to Earth and this unbearable human hive would calm down and stand still.
And if you, the person who reads this, feel the same, then … now look with all your eyes and listen with all your ears.
It's been a long time since a friend of mine puzzled me looking for signs of depression. I thought a lot, searched a lot, buried my forehead against the walls, passed all sorts of tests to determine the signs of depression, even went to the same "specialist", but all in vain. As I said, these shrinks can advise nothing better than "pills" … And, yes, I forgot - "Communicate with people more often, try to write down joyful events for the day, get creative …" In a word, the same crap and water that, I'm sure you've heard it more than once. And then … I guess I was really very lucky. The universe finally heard me and sent me an answer. In the form of free lectures on systemic vector psychology.
I certainly did not have any hopes. You can say that by that time I was completely desperate. But curiosity got the better of it. And this was the most correct decision in my entire life.
Over time, I realized that I was not worthless and unnecessary and that I was not doomed to suffering by my birth. That existence has a meaning … Any existence has it! Another thing is how accurately and penetratingly Yuri Burlan was able to convey all the nuances of my states - as if he himself felt it all. At that moment I thought: "God, this man is retelling my whole life!"
Each person has a special mentality. For example, people like me - those for whom the question of the meaning of being and existence is especially acute - are called the owners of the sound vector. The goal of a person with a sound vector is to cognize the metaphysical world, to figure out how this life is arranged, to understand himself through others and the rest through himself. And if we do not find answers to our questions, do not satisfy our desires, voids and black holes grow inside us. Then all these signs of prolonged depression appear, a feeling of the meaninglessness of being and a desire to die right now.
I was not born to suffer, but I suffered because I could not fulfill my specific role, I could not find answers to all my countless questions. And there was no one to help me. And desires grew, accumulated and exhausted me, sometimes with insomnia, then with suicidal thoughts, then with apathy. And the more I immersed myself in myself and in my states, the worse and worse I became. Do you know why?
Because there are no answers inside. There are only gaping voids and darkness inside. In order to get rid of bad conditions, which people with a light hand call the signs of depression, you need to "go outside", notice other people and learn to understand them. Find your place not behind a locked door, but in society. “But how to find all this? How to understand? you ask irritably. - What a vicious circle?
The circle is really closed if you don't know where to look for answers. With the training "System-Vector Psychology" my picture of the world has finally formed from millions of tiny puzzles into a coherent and understandable system. And I am one of these irreplaceable pieces that has finally found its place. It's too hard to explain on the go, on fingers. You need to hear it with your own ears, pass it through yourself, check it on your life. And everything will surely fall into place.
I seriously thought this was the end. That sooner or later I will simply leap out the window or snatch myself up in a noose. But it turned out that this was the beginning. The beginning of a long and meaningful life, filled with new colors, sounds, joy, in the end. The joy of knowledge and awareness, of opening doors and unfolding secrets.
How does this happen? The mere understanding that you are a sound engineer changes everything in principle. The world turns upside down, and thoughts go in a completely different direction. I no longer want to jam myself, try not to think, because there are no answers to internal questions. You start to think exactly what, you try to concentrate, many questions arise in your head. It is clearly seen that there are not all sounds around, but how are they different?
What is material and what is hidden? Sound ideas rule the world. Vector Systems Psychology is the best food for any lost sound engineer. And there are no others in the modern world, whether we realize it or not.
Welcome to free trainings!
