The child constantly demands attention. Where to seek salvation?
But the truth is, there are children who can play at least for a short time on their own, who willingly go about their business, communicate with other children on the playground, and can, in the end, calmly watch the cartoon WITHOUT mom at hand.
Is it really the sonic mother who is so “lucky” with the child who just needs the mother's undivided attention around the clock?
"… Let's play, I want to play pens, let's go for a walk, draw me a car, I will sleep with you, I want to see you, mom, mom-mom, ma-a-ma-a!.." - and so all day, no, round the clock without interruption.
I can not take it anymore. My life is like groundhog day. I'm really tired. I want to drop everything and leave wherever they look. Nerves to the limit. I break into a scream. The son is frightened, cries, does not understand anything. Then I am terribly ashamed, and we cry together, and after a while everything is repeated again.
Why is this happening to me? What's wrong? Perhaps I am a bad mother … I was not ready for 24/7 motherhood. I cannot give a child as much attention as he needs.
I am constantly with the baby, and I dream of being alone. Walk in silence, listen to music, and just sleep, after all! The husband is constantly at work. On his day off he wants to rest, that's understandable. And I don't have days off …
Mom who is hard
Being constantly with a child is playing, walking, protecting, entertaining, caring for, comforting, healing, feeding, bathing, laying, doing everything always together and talking endlessly. To many, all this will not seem so difficult. Most mothers in playgrounds feel quite happy.
And there are other mothers. As if withdrawn into themselves, brooding and detached. A child's scream seems to pull them out of their thoughts. To answer the child, she seems to be making an effort on herself. She asks not to shout so loudly and speaks herself in a low voice.
These are women with a sound vector. Yes, it's hard for them. But not because they are bad mothers, but because they do not understand what is happening to them.
The ability to concentrate given by nature does not receive its realization, and this happens for many reasons. Decree - a break in professional activities. Silence, necessary for the work of thought, and concentration on the process with a small child in her arms are incompatible things. And even getting a rare opportunity to take advantage of free time, the sound mother, without a systemic understanding of what is happening, would rather decide to sleep, than remember about intellectual activity or self-knowledge.
And the sound vector is desire, aspiration and ability to think. This is abstract thinking and the ability to generate ideas, look for and find answers about the reasons for everything that happens, create thought forms demanded by others. This is hard mental work, which, nevertheless, is able to bring the most complete pleasure to the sound engineer. After all, this is the meaning of the life of the owner of the sound vector.
The lion's share of the innate psychological properties of a sound woman after the birth of a child remains unclaimed. Hence the negative inner state, emptiness, a sense of the meaninglessness of life and the same, repeating days.
Against this background - constant emotional stress, because the baby requires communication, movement, attention. And this is the sphere of completely different psychological properties. A situation arises, similar to when a person suffering from thirst is forced to gnaw crackers again and again. He needs one thing, but he gets something completely different.
And also children's crying, screaming, noisy fuss. From the impossibility of being in silence, from screaming, the sound woman literally goes crazy. In the end, internal tension spills out onto the most defenseless object, which is next to a woman, but which inevitably became an irritant for her - her baby.
When a baby can't get enough of a mom?
But the truth is, there are children who can play for a while on their own, who willingly go about their business, communicate with other children on the playground, and can, in the end, calmly watch the cartoon WITHOUT mom at hand.
Is it really the sonic mother who is so "lucky" with the child who just needs the mother's undivided attention around the clock?
It's not about luck, but about the nature of the development of the child's psyche.
For the full development of innate psychological properties, a child needs a sense of security and safety, which he can receive only from the mother. This is an inner, subconscious feeling of well-being, calmness, peace and absolute security. And he can get it in full only when the mother herself is in a balanced state, when she does not feel psychological stress, when there is no internal negativity.
The state, and hence the behavior of the child, directly depends on the state of the mother. The mother suffers - the baby does not receive the sense of security he needs - he suffers and shows his inner tension by trying to "get" the protection from the mother. Demands attention to himself, strives to constantly be near, catches a glance, asks for her arms, calls and looks for mom every moment of time.
The child does not understand and, of course, cannot explain what is happening to him. He feels one thing - he misses his mother. Mom feels different - she lacks freedom. Both suffer.
What to do? We solve the problem systematically
Understanding the essence of what is happening, revealing the root of the problem, you can find a way out of the vicious circle.
It is extremely important for a mother with a sound vector to understand everything that happens in her own head. This understanding alone gives rise to relief. Self-knowledge for any owner of the sound vector becomes even more relevant knowledge than professional skills.
The training "System-vector psychology" provides a full-fledged complex of knowledge about one's own psychological nature. All eight vectors, including the sound one, form the human psyche, are responsible for our desires and the ability to perceive the world around us and the ability to express ourselves in it.
Understanding the properties of her own psyche, the sound mother gets the opportunity to regain her inner balance and thereby normalize the psychological state of the baby.
For example, realizing the importance of physiological and psychological rest, a systemic mother is more likely to sleep with her baby during naps than wash the dishes. A psychologically savvy sound girl would rather choose a quiet walk with a stroller and classics in headphones than a shopping run. A rare day off, a literate mother will spend on an interesting book, a good movie, a trip to the Philharmonic or the library of the portal of System-Vector Psychology, and not a general cleaning of the apartment.
Observing and understanding the psychological properties of her child, an attentive mother realizes the directions in which it is worth developing the baby. This gives the ability to choose exactly those toys that will be interesting to the child, buy exactly those books that will develop him in a promising direction, enroll the child in those classes that he will attend with pleasure.
The psychological balance of a woman, which gives systemic knowledge, is immediately reflected in the behavior of the child. Getting a sense of security and safety in sufficient volume, the baby loses the need and desire to "hang" on the mother 24 hours a day. No, this does not mean that he can do without his mother for a long time. But you will get a lot more free time than it was before. It will be enough for him that you are in the same room with him. He will be quite capable of playing on his own while you are drinking tea.
Over time, there will be more and more such moments, because the baby grows up, becomes bolder, learns the world more actively, and is more willing to make contact with others.
Changes in children will not be long in coming. Many trainees of the training talk about such changes on the feedback page. Not one sound mother came to the training specifically with the problem of relationships with a child and received an answer to her question.
Observe the development of your own child and understand the mechanisms of the formation of a growing personality - what could be more interesting for a mother with a sound vector?
Motherhood can and should be happy for any woman! Do not deny yourself this pleasure. Perhaps you will like it so much that you decide to become a mom again?..